Friday, October 5, 2007

anything -long as it's white

The other day, I had an experience I'm sure alot of BW have had. I was watching extreme make overs, when I saw an extremely unattractive white woman crying over how ugly she thought she was. she had bucked teeth, stringy hair, horrible skin, and looked extremely dirty and unkempt. I thought to myself " I know she's not married" Then they showed her husband. Sure enough she was married to a black man!
Then I thought "oh should have known, you can look like sh*t and still get a black man as long as you're white" I reprimanded myself for being so cynical yet the I still felt/have experienced the same thing. As long as you are white it does not seem to matter how ugly you are, how stupid you are, or even how racist you are. You can always get a black man. Is this always the case? Of course not-does it seem to be most often? unfortunately yes, even white women will brag (no matter how bad they look) that they can pull a black man away from a black woman any day of the week. (I only wish they were lying) Recently my cousin was telling me about a BM who left a BW who looked like a darker version of Vanessa Williams because some ugly white woman gave him a second look. He dropped his girl like yesterday's news and flew after this homely looking woman. She said the people at school would laugh at how he would drop everything when this woman called, and that the BW would just shake their heads. They were not surprised at all just saddened. why am I relaying all this information? Because I want you sistas to recognize a damaged man. Damaged does not just mean someone who is committing criminal offenses and engaging in all manner of malefaction. Damaged, at it's most fundamental level means a man who is mired in self-hate and secretly hates you because you remind him of the part of himself that he cannot accept. Can you fix him? HELL NO! Only God can fix this poor creature! The only thing you can do is steer clear! Do not let him in your life, your kid's lives, or even your dog's life.
This person will only drag you down. That is all damaged people can do. Doe's it make sense that someone who is emotionally unhealthy, can relate to you on a healthy level? Of course not. Black women we have been sold a bullshit bill of goods by the BC. It is not our job to repair and mend these broken, damaged, and often dangerous men. The most important thing we must do is the steer clear of the damage and find loving mates for ourselves, good fathers for our offspring and have a good a life as possible. Sistas life is too damn short to waste precious time on trying to repair/save someone else- SAVE YOURSELVES!

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10 Comments:

At Friday, October 05, 2007 , Blogger arthur said...

Hi Sara - I just came over from Halima's blog. I saw your post on the latest thread and thought I'd drop by and give you a hit :)

I read both your posts and, FWIW, I think you're off to a good start.

 
At Friday, October 05, 2007 , Blogger Taylor-Sara said...

thanks Arthur,
you are my first comment. I am soooo excited. I love it! I have all kinds of plans for my blog and I am most def. open to suggestions Please tell everyone to drop over and lets talk!

 
At Saturday, October 06, 2007 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratualations on your new blog! I know you'll have some great insight and commentary once you get going.

Dee

 
At Saturday, October 06, 2007 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Sara,

I came to your blog after seeing you post a comment on Classical One's blog. I like what I'm reading so far. Keep up the good work!

 
At Saturday, October 06, 2007 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

congrats on your blog. I saw the link on C-1's blog. Keep it up!!

 
At Saturday, October 06, 2007 , Blogger Halima said...

Hi sara

i got your email. let me say, just keep being original and writing from a passion for the well-being of bw, also drop links around the place eg other blogs and mostly message boards. i will soon be putting up links and will be recommending urs for newbiews who want to explore the basics!

 
At Saturday, October 06, 2007 , Blogger Halima said...

Also to add and before i link you and the 'supress sister's narratives' crowd swing this way, dont let them suppress your passion and any aspect of our experinces as you have expressed in this post.

if it happens to us, we must acknowlege it and i see you doing this here and thats good. we must not play down any aspect of our experinces, regardless of wether it makes others uncomfortable or not, thats the way we can start to heal and find a way out.

 
At Saturday, October 06, 2007 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a suggestion - pictures, or just picture (single). This blog will probably talk about your relationship to some degree, and in any event will revolve around relationships in general. If you were going to write about the Iraq war, I'd not suggest a picture, but since your topics will be personal and relationship-based I would think many readers would love to see who we're talking to and about. Just a suggestion. Picture or not, I'll keep checking in.

 
At Tuesday, August 19, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love this blog , it speaks truth which most black men fail to realize,i am 24 year black women currently in college and see this cycle,i came across dozens of brothers who made me upset saying to me you beautiful light skinned black women you look you know what which makes my skin crawl , i came from a beautiful darkskin women that taught me early about life. With that being said brothers was basically telling me if i was darkskin they would look twice, all my beautiful black sister are well aware of many i mean many selfhate black men , i am really scared to date them .

 
At Sunday, October 04, 2009 , Blogger Sharonkay said...

I realize that this article was written back in 2007 but I came across this blog a few days ago. I have to say AMEN SISTER!! Everything you stated in this article is so true. I live in a midwest city and I see this crap ALL OF THE TIME! I see black men dating and marrying the nastiest, trashy looking white women, but when it comes to a black women, we are supposed to have EVERYTHING PERFECT!I don't date a lot here locally, but I did just sign up for an interracial dating service online. I am no longer interested in dating/marrying black men because they are truly messed up and damaged. I have dated interracially in the past and the white males treated me so much better. They don't mind paying for the dates and picking you up at your house/apartment. My last relationship was with a white guy that I met while working a 2nd job. I did not have a car at the time, but he would offer to take me home in the evening because he didn't want me to wait on the bus late at night. Even though the relationship didn't end in marriage, he was very protective of me. I am in my 40's and I guess I would be considered an "old maid" by many people. I dont have any kids and never really wanted any, but it would be nice to have a great relationship with a good man before my time is up on this earth. God bless you and all of the other black ladies who have decided to open up their dating options.I know as for me, I probably will have to look out of state or even outside of the US to meet a great man of another race. I used to have a passport during my college years but it expired back in 1998. I plan to get another one next year or in 2011, because I certainly want to travel again.I also saw your new blog and I really loved the pics of all of the black female, white male couples. I am also glad that you placed some older couples on the site. I am in my 40's and it was very encouraging to see some older black ladies with white mates. So I guess its not too late for me to find love after all.

 

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