The Man Plan (finding Mr. Right)

Every woman looking for a good man must have a man-plan. What is that? A man plan is a blue print of the type of man that you are looking for. You cannot find that which you do not seek. You will find that anything you want in life, must be thought out, reduced to paper and then visualized. I learned this technique from a very smart young lady whom I met in Texas a few years ago....

It all started at the full-service-unisex salon....
A few years ago, when I lived in Texas, I had a black friend named Tameka. she worked at a full-service salon and worked extremely hard to take of her child alone. Struggling to pay the bills and such on a manicurist salary is very taxing on the nervous system, and she had made it clear that she was going to find a good husband. One day she showed me a sheet a paper titled man-plan at the top and said she was going to use it to find Mr right. (She had gotten the idea from a good book) She had listed about 50 different qualities and personality traits, as well as a lose physical description such as over 6.ft. white, attractive, blond,decent shape etc. The physical description was vague but everything was very specific. Including that she wanted him to have an income of over 70.000 per year! She told me she said he had to have a good sense of humor and would make an excellent father for her child/husband for her. She had so many things written down on her plan, I have to admit, i wondered where she was going to find this perfect man.
She saw the dubious look on my face and rushed to explain that having a goal makes you 100x more likely to get it, but having a written goal makes you 1000x more likely to receive it, since you go in the direction of your thoughts and that is why neg. thinking is soooooo dangerous! She told me he was going to be tall, white, handsome, and emotionally available. She had a long list of qualities for her dream man, but the main ones for her were the 3w's wealthy, white, and worldly. She said she was thinking of him so much, that she had begun to dream of him, and his first name started with a T. At the time, I was not sure I believed her, as that part of Texas wasn't crawling with wealthy men of any color, but later on I sure as hell believed her.

I have always loved to study people. You can find out so much about yourself just by studying other people-and also people are just so interesting!
Anyway a few months later a ww friend of mine named Gail wanted to get her hair done. She said she needed a new look. Now, I knew the real reason Gail wanted a new look was because she was really trying to save her marriage. She had been telling me for months she and John were not getting along. For the sake of saving her pride, I pretended it was really just an ordinary hair appointment. Anyway, we ended up at the salon that Tameka worked out of. A predominantly white salon in the heart of temple. Both Tameka and I were from military families so we both felt comfortable and at ease around a lot of different kinds of people. Gail, on the other hand had only lived around white people, and I noticed that sometimes she was uncomfortable around strangers. So when Tameka started telling me about how she had had more tall, white, handsome, 'available' dates since she had written her man-plan, I was very happy for her, and, I attributed Gail's discomfort to the fact that she did not know Tameka. I could feel Gail's discomfort with what Tameka was saying, even though she was making no response. She was shifting in her seat and looking very perturbed. Tameka was telling me that she was not looking for anyone super-rich, just well-off as in having his own home, over 70.000 per year, older, worldly etc. who would not mind the fact that she was a single mother and be willing to love her as well as her small daughter. She was overwhelmed trying to meet all of her bills, and as her ex refused to pay child support, and financial stability was extremely important to her. The only other woman in the salon that particular day was the owner Mary. She was an older white woman who seemed bitter about life and angry much of the time. She spoke as if she had come up on the wrong side of the tracks (as in almost sounding illiterate) She kept saying that she too, was looking for a husband, and that she too was tired of being alone, paying all the bills as well, and that the salon was not making enough money, she did not know what she was going to do etc. Mary was carrying on and talking so much that she did not hear the purr of a very expensive car pull into the salon at about 5:10, They were to close at 5:30, so there were only about 5 people left in the salon including me and Gail. Well, in walks this taller, older version of Paul walker. in an expensive gray suit and definitely possessing a 'man of means' aura. He spoke to Mary in a very deep and confident voice. " I'm sorry I know it's late- but would it be possible to get a manicure at this hour, I am willing to pay extra, I have an important business meet-" Mary's head snapped up, angrily. "no you may not walze in here and think you are gonna' git special service at thiss hour Mista! " In two seconds she had taken in the expensive suit, gold cuff links, perfect hair cut and the expensive smell emanating from him, and had been instantly turned off. ( Tameka had told me that Mary hated people with money) Tameka spoke up, quickly. " Oh I can do it, this lady is done, and I needed to stay later anyway" (she told me later she made that last part up) Mary waved her hand as if to say 'whatever'. For a moment he looked stunned, like the thought of a black woman doing his hands had not occurred to him. Then he smiled semi-gratefully at Tameka. I remember just watching wondering how Tameka could touch a total stranger with such ease and confidence. Anyway, a moment later I began to watch the body language of Tameka and the man. At first, his seemed very stilted and uncomfortable. Then she leaned down, said something to him and they both laughed. Right away both their bodies seemed to relax before my eyes. She talked to him the whole time she was doing his nails.,and he seemed to really enjoy the conversation. I could not hear what she was saying because Mary was running her mouth a mile a minute talking about how her bills were killing her, and her son's lawyer fees were killing her, and her electric bills were killing her... Gail and I looked at each other, WE felt like killing her! I felt like screaming "shut up! everyone has bills! everyone has problems!-why must we constantly listen to yours?" I desperately wanted to hear what Tameka and the man (found out later, his name was Trevor) were talking about. I did notice though, that when Tameka cocked her head to the side and asked him how come a handsome guy like him did not have a wife doing his manicure, that his smile seemed to light his whole face. I noticed that his body was turned toward hers as she touched his hands , and that when her eyes lingered on his, he seemed very first date nervous and kept stealing glances at her. (in fact, he could hardly seem to keep his eyes off of her.) Both of their voices became low and secretive, they almost seemed to be on their own wavelength, it was kinda weird. When they were done, he seemed extremely reluctant to leave. He pulled out a 50.00 bill and told Tameka to keep the change since she was working toward her own shop. (We had not even known that.) It was blatantly oblivious he did not leave. I knew he desperately wanted her number, but did not want to ask in front of everyone. Tameka sensed it too. She grabbed a shop card and pressed it into his hands while looking him in the eye. " l want you, to come back ok?" she told him. He smiled so hard, it had to hurt. "oh I'm definitely comin' for you..er to do my nails again. He said. I could not help but smile at all the non-verbal communication going on between them. When he left Gail turned to her and cattily said."well, you know you'll never see him again right? I mean he obliviously has money and he can have anyone... uh I mean he can go anywhere... to get his nail done" Tameka smiled at me over the rim of her coffee cup. We both knew Gail was really saying 'he wouldn't want your black behind, when he could easily get a white girl-so back off! Tameka set her coffee cup down and gave Gail a quizzical smile that silently asked " well, if I don't have chance, why in the world are you so agitated?" Mary's mouth was set in a thin angry line and she was throwing things around. I knew she was bitter about the 50.00 bill. She had just said that she was broke and struggling, and now Tameka had made 50.00 in less than 20 minutes! I forgot about Trevor, but I did notice that in the following months, Tameka lost 20lbs and started to dress much better, she also looked radiant with happiness. I commented that her man-plan must be working and she smiled surreptitiously, nodded yes, but did not elaborate. 8 months later Gail and I were back to the shop to cheer her up. John had just asked her for a divorce. She and Mary had a field day talking about how no-good men were, and how they did not know what they wanted. I knew Gail was hurting, but I did not think it was healthy to be around someone as negative as Mary. I secretly felt like she would never get a man with her attitude. The shop was full and Mary's attitude felt like a depressing fog hanging on our shoulders. The purr of an very expensive car caused Tameka's head to snap up. Most of us followed her gaze to see the Paul walker look-a-like coming toward her. I did not know what she had been doing to him but he looked like a man 'possessed with happiness' as she literally threw herself into his outstretched arms. All the women in the shop looked shocked as they kissed, happily. "he'll never marry her!' one of them sniffed. "yeah, he's just playin with her" Gail added hopefully. She looked at me and I knew she did not believe that even as she said it. A few months later they did get married. It turned out they had been dating the whole time! And Tameka told me he fit every single requirement she had on her plan. I finally got the chance to pull Tameka aside, and ask her how she did it. "Well, it starts with knowing what you want" she said," I wrote a man plan and included all the qualities that were important to me.-then, I stopped dating people who obliviously did not possess those qualities. I then visualized the exact man I wanted. you know about 6.ft. tall wide shoulders blond hair, blue eyes, but the main thing Sara, is that I visualized conversations with him, and that he possessed the inner qualities I was looking for, because those are the most important! " she explained the exact steps she had taken to get the man of her dreams, and I am going to outline them for you-(BTW Mary found a minuscule reason to fire her from the shop-but she didn't care)

1. she wrote exactly the kind of man she wanted with all the accompanying qualities, with very general physical description.


2. She visualized him and his personality every night. When she met him she was ready, she engaged him in light conversation -to put him at ease, was friendly, engaging and "Open"


3. She told me she modeled herself after him -for exp. he was very visual (note the expensive suit, perfectly groomed, getting a manicure etc. She began to take great pains with her own appearance because visual men are very attracted to well-groomed, attractive, physically fit women. (BTW Most Men are Visual) ( She mirrored him physically)


4. She began to speak at lower volume when she was with him because he talked low, and resented loud women. (mirroring volume) She read the news so that they could converse without awkward silences and stayed abreast of current events.


5. She did not care for hockey yet went to several games with him.(men bond while they are doing physical things with people)


6. Instead of giving him sex, she had given him many compliments and never failed to tell him how exciting, attractive, etc. he was (this lets a man know that you certainly find him sexually appealing, you just want to 'wait' for your own reasons.)


7. She was grateful when he took her to nice places-but not fawning (ALOT OF WW MESS THIS UP! a man can spend alot of money on them and they don't even want to thank him! (but never act over-grateful like no one ever bought you a meal before!


8. She made sure she 'fit' into his life. What doe's that mean? If you like a man who drinks champagne and you drink beer,(and you have no desire to EVER drink champagne you will never fit into his life. If he believes highly in education and you didn't ever graduate HS. (even if you lie) he will realize it because you will have no propensities toward higher Educ. or status elevation of any kind. (Notice Tameka made sure he knew she was leaning toward her own shop) If he is a staunch advocate for betterment, and you just want to "pay the damn bills" YOU WILL NOT FIT INTO HIS LIFE!


9. She saw him about half the amount of time he wanted to see her for the first 3-4 months they dated.(this is called leaving him wanting more) She was very sweet and conversational yet -hard to get. (When it comes to playing hard to get - Honey, you should not be playing!)


10. She acted like a prize-AND TURNED HIM INTO A BELIEVER. She dated other men (letting him know she had options) she never acted crazy about him (although she was) and she carried herself with poise, confidence and relaxed self-assurance, she assumed he would fall in love with her.(which of course he did)

These steps have worked for many women, there is no reason why they cannot work for you. Your thoughts really do affect your reality! If you don't believe me start picturing yourself with a fatal disease right now. You won't do it -will you? No, because you know consistently picturing that disease will DRAW it right into your life. There IS a power there that you can use- So use this power for good.

Use the Man-Plan to draw Mr. right into your life!