Predator Safety tips!
I know I promised to move on from damaged bm, but I had to put this in before I do. I think it is so very important to avoid, and steer clear of the predators in our community!
Meet Ronald Leon Davis, He is the alledged shooter in the Hovey Street murders. (He has been identified by his accomplices as the trigger man) This is the recent news story about the two young women and 2 babies who were gunned down in cold blood recently.
As you can see monsters do not always look like monsters. They can
come with any face. This monster in particular is 30 and has spent over I/3 of his life behind bars. Still he was not rehabilitated. He never will be. Behind bars, he was given ample opportunity to change his life and his ways. He was given a GED, Substance abuse counceling, and a barber's license. Twice he was released early on drug charges. Both times he was back behind bars within months. He is as damaged as they come! He has fathered 3 kids/by 2 mothers and was arrested (just like his brother) for attacking the mother of 2 of his children and beating her to a pulp. He has been arrested numerous times for violent attacks on BW. And his younger brother is awaiting trial on the same thing. I know you are wondering why I am recounting all this. It is because I hope we can put our heads together and figure out how to better protect black women and children from these monsters! Here are my tips; Please feel free to add yours
1. Never allow drug dealers of ANY kind into your life! Strenuously avoid men involved with any kind of drugs!!!
2. Be extremely careful about revealing your address to anyone!
3. Monitor who your child(ren) speak with on the internet and make it clear they are to give NO personal information!
4. Get it out of your head that the label brother means a damn thing! Many women are victimized by their own belief system which precludes them from listening to their instincts.
5. Always listen to your women's intuition-it is there for a reason and it is your God-given alarm system!
6. Forget people who tell you to give convicted felons a chance- The best indicator of future behavior is PAST BEHAVIOR!!
7. Teach your children if they are in danger to run away screaming FIRE! studies show that people will run TOWARD A FIRE AND AWAY FROM VIOLENCE!
8. Many women become victims because they do not want to appear to be a bitch or hurt a man's feelings. Keep saying to yourself, "my safety first-his feeling last"
9. Avoid men who are selfish, angry for no reason, violent, disrespectful, or show blatant mysogynistic propensities!
10. Beware of men who try to move into your space -do not respect boundarys- or try to force teaming with you very early on. forced teaming means this;
Example: (True story by the way)
kim drops a can of cat food from her bag going up the stairs to her apartment, in a dark seemingly empty Apartment building. "I'll get it" a voice calls in an overly-friendly way. Kim's heart speeds up because she did not see anyone when she came in the building. A moment later a nice looking man appears carrying the cat food up to her. His face was handsome and his smile was seemingly warm, but the hair on the back of kim's neck rose and her stomache felt tied in knots for some strange reason. She reached the bag out for him to put the can of cat food inside, but he fell in step behind her instead. "oh I'll take it " kim said a little loudly. Something did not feel right, but she could not put her finger on it. "oh no, I've got it" he told her with a smile. Kim's smile faded. Something was wrong-but what was it? 'stop it!' she chided herself. Here was a nice looking guy, she had been trying to meet smiling, nice looking guys since she came to the City. What was wrong with her? and why was her stomache acting so crazy? "no, it's ok I'll take it" she told the stranger "I'm just upstairs" For a second, she saw something close to anger flicker in his eyes. "I said I got it! " he retorted. "We can't have a hungry cat now can we?"(This is forced teaming-she did not even know him-There is no WE!) His smile was back, but it did not seem to reach his eyes. Kim swallowed her misgivings. She did not want to look like a bitch in front of this cute guy. When they reached her door, he abruptly snatched one of the bags from her startled hands and insisted on taking it in the apartment for her. Kim was taken aback by his brazen behavior and not liking it one bit. Now the voice in the back of her head was screaming. 'kim get away!- danger-danger-DANGER!!!' Kim swallowed hard. "uh, I'll uh take it" she said uncertainly. She was fighting her programming now, her mother had always told her to be nice, nobody liked a bitchy woman! "no, no he insisted I promise to leave as soon as I put it in ok?" he walked in with kim hesitating in the hall. When he did not come out, she reluctantly went inside to see what he was doing. Kim was brutally raped that night, and the only thing that kept her from being killed was that when her intruder went into the kitchen to retrieve a knife to kill her with, She followed the voice this time and slipped from the window to the fire escape and fled for her life. It was later learned that he had raped and killed 5 other women! Kim would have undoubtedly been number 6! Ladies there is in you an instinct that is always trying to protect you, it is so imperative that you listen to the still voice within......And avoid damaged men like your life depended on it-because it does!!!
posted by Taylor-Sara @ 10:29 PM
31 Comments
31 Comments:
sara are you saying that if a man has a little drug problem we should dump him and not look back? If we black women are not in his corner -who will be?
Still fixated on black men. These are men that I would not even give the time of day. I come to an IR website to read stories about successful IR and I get this...so sad. Do you really feel that you have to warn black women who are seeking IR about damaged black men?
Nikki I am not FIXATED on anyone! I merely want my readers to be safe while they are man hunting. and predators can come in any color! The man in the story was white! and I beleive I said I wanted to get these tips in before we moved on. Also, Please keep in mind that this is MY BLOG!!
Anon, you should not need to dump a dealer, because you should never allow him in your life anyway, or under any circumstances! It is not your responsibility to fix broken men! Whatever you do, have absolutely nothing to do with drug dealers!!
Thanks for this Sara, I know that I sometimes let my gaurd down and I live alone. Predators case and study their victims I believe. I think we all need that little kick and reminder of the dangers lurking.
My friend/co-worker (White female) met her boyfriend online (white male) and within a month or maybe 6weeks, she moved in with him...she stopped communication with me because she knew that I had a bad feeling about it. They were quickly engaged. However, in September (approx. 5 months), he pulled a gun on her and placed it to her head, he was also an alcoholic, very recently divorced with a 1 yr. old child, and she said that he admitted to being bipolar. My friend was and has always been desperate for male attention and wants badly to be married. My advice to women is to be very careful when a man is pushing for exclusivity early on in a relationship and is proposing to you and moving you in after only knowing you for less than 2 months!! Had she taken time to know this man, she could have saved herself money, time, sanity, and embarrassment.
I stated the race of the two people because some anon poster will no doubt say that WM (assuming that the male in question was Black) do bad stuff too....well, duh!!!! And what's up with the Anon who wrote that if no one else is in a BM's corner then who will be, and "a little drug problem"? I'll bet a mammy or a BM wrote that crap just to get a rise! That is so sick to me -- BM have become the new females in need of protection! I also want to say that my friend meeting her ex 'online' was insignificant, she has done this with other guys -- and they were public, chance meetings -- her behavior and refusal to get to know these men is the real issue, not how they met. So ladies, don't be like her!
Good topic Sara!
anon: sara are you saying that if a man has a little drug problem we should dump him and not look back?
me: yep!
anon: If we black women are not in his corner -who will be?
me: ww, aw, hw? since bm put these women on a pedestool any other time. They let THEM have their back
What is "a little drug problem?" In my single days, if I found out that my boyfriend had a drug problem, I would say, "you have a lot of work to do on yourself. Here are some counselors and clinics, take care of yourself because you're in no condition to be in a relationship with me. God Bless!"
If, God Forbid, my husband developed a drug habit, he would need to get clean and enter marriage counseling with me to figure out why he developed "a little drug problem." There would have to be individual responsibility on his part. I'm not good at making excuses and apologizing for people in my life who may have "a little drug problem."
What the hell is “Anonymous” thinking? Why in the heck do I, a BW have to have their back? They haven't had mine. I'm so sick of these DAMAGED males.
And for the record, there is no such thing as a “little drug problem.” Who the hell you kidding?
Anonymous said...
"sara are you saying that if a man has a little drug problem we should dump him and not look back? If we black women are not in his corner -who will be?"
I cannot believe that I'm actually reading this garbage! Yes, let someone else be in his corner...Black women do not listen to this type of doctrine...It could cost your very lives...
BWDB http://thecwexperience.wordpress.com
Anonymous said...
sara are you saying that if a man has a little drug problem we should dump him and not look back? If we black women are not in his corner -who will be?
My reply:
Are you being ironic?
If you are referring to all men why do you keep using pictures of black men? I feel alot of bashing of brothers goin on here. show some pics of white predators!
Jan thank you for your comments, now allow me to re-elaborate my position. Since this is my blog, I will put up whatever I deem appropriate. I feel no need to warn bw about white male predators because most bw have 200 different types of guard up when it comes to white men in the first place! If a white man were to look at them sideways, they are likely to 'go off' It is the bm predators in our community that are a great concern. Especially in light of the fact that the BC pushes bw into the arms of these monsters regardless of their reputations! If you feel brothers are being bashed here, perhaps you could find a blog that is more bm friendly. I, for one am not the least bit interested in preserving the image/feelings of black men. I think I have made that abundantly clear on several occasions. My interest is in the happiness, well being, and betterment/upliftment of BLACK WOMEN! There are way too many people concerned about bm. I am not one of them-and my blog is a true reflection of this sentiment. sorry if it is not in accordance with your desires.....
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Nikki and that anonymous poster are just bashers...Or else they'd go and create or peruse a blog catering to their interests...
Excellent post - Sara one tip - I think it is imperative that people redefine personal information to include name, address, social security number, and phone number to include cell phone numbers, birthday and email addresses. It is possible to do a reverse look up on phone and cell numbers and trace addresses. There is no such thing as a "little" drug problem. If drugs are on the scene certainly if they are a problem that is reason enough to bolt. As to who is in the BM corner - himself if he has any sense and if not then too bad so sad - not a problem for any woman to solve!If a man cannot solve his own problem and run his own life regardless of race, creed, color - there is nothing good that he can add to anyone's life. It is not possible to give what you do not have. IF BM care how they are perceived and that is a mighty big if - then it is on them to improve it!
A very interesting post by a male about a nice guy. He happens to be a white male for those that care but here is a nice guy checklist from a male perspective - talk about checking out the other teams play book. A nice read from a male perspective and good info for women who may not be quite clear on what a nice guy is per the author.
http://taoistbiker.wordpress.com/2007/08/10/are-you-a-nice-guy/
It is written in "guy speak" but there is valuable knowledge to be had. In another blog for writers this nugget related to character development in stories put into words the reality of the BC "portrays men not as they are but as women wish they would be" Comments like those above are people continuing to see DBR people as they wish they were an not as they are - not all men are predators but many have demonstrated by their actions that they are and therefore are to be avoided to avoid harm. Another interesting post asserted and it seems to be supported in a review of various romance novels and magazine is that "WW are taught men are bad, evil skirt chasers who they need to change, especially in the media and in chick lit books."
V/r
Clarice
Say that! It's about time we put our own interests first and stop caring about how we will be received by doing that. I am not ashamed to be completely concerned about BW and Black children -- if women start making the best most prudent decisions, things usually fall right in line for their children.
this is very depressing...I know that this is your blog and you can do anything you want to it.However I feel like everytime I come here its mostly negative stuff. I come here because I feel like you are doing a good thing by promoting IR dating but I am honestly sick of reading about DBR. Im sure that most women that read this blog date IR anyway.
"I feel no need to warn bw about white male predators because most bw have 200 different types of guard up when it comes to white men in the first place!"
I think you're correct about that, but I also think there's a subset of black women who might perceive a white man as less of a threat. There are black women who believe white guys are less likely to exhibit 'doggish' behavior. Further, there are black women who believe the stereotype of white men being 'weak' and less likely to be a threat. I think it's crucial that all women be aware of the threat of male predatory behavior, period. Especially as there are also white men out there who target black women BECAUSE they are black.
Roslynholcomb, I agree with you.
To anon. I am sorry you feel that way, as I have said I think it's important to get these tips in before we move on because some women are very vulnerable and I am tired of reading about beautiful black women in the paper who have become the casualties of predators! There is no need for you to be depressed because you can easily come back when the topic is more to your liking.....
"If you feel brothers are being bashed here, perhaps you could find a blog that is more bm friendly. I, for one am not the least bit interested in preserving the image/feelings of black men. I think I have made that abundantly clear on several occasions. My interest is in the happiness, well being, and betterment/upliftment of BLACK WOMEN!"
You say it, girl! Pure poetry.
Oh my my my. I was reading and praying and hoping and reading. Thank God it had a good ending.
Can I breathe now? Can I get back my lungs from the back of my throat?
OMG! I just finished reading your post /story and then I read the first comment by anonymous. I can only shake my head. Some folk just don't wanna change. They just don't wanna change.
I think in the segregated societies in America, Sara has a point, but I also adhere to Roslyn's (I mean when does she ever not make sense!!!. Yeah I'm stalking you Roslyn as I just think you're brilliant in your commentary).
Keep doing what you're doing, Sara, as I believe you (along with many) are obviously fullfilling a very neglected psychological segment of the female BC.
Since this is the last you'll say about on black men, I just wanted to post something for those delusional anonymous posters who defend them unconditionally.
Inside the mind of a black man:
In addition to this site, I frequent secret confessions sites, and about 2 days ago, I found the following confession made by a black man on one of them:
i'm obsessed with white women.
i'm a young black male and i'm obsessed with white women. i won't even look at a black woman. i love white women's eyes, hair, skin, their personalities, everything. i've slept with more white women then i have black women. i've slept with white women from ages 17 to 60+ years old. (17 is legal age of consent in my state). i only watch interracial porn and i only go to white clubs. i love to kiss white girls, i love to give them oral sex, i love to receive oral sex from them, and i love to cum in their white pussies. if i ever sleep with a black girl i wear a condom but if im with a white girl i prefer to fuck them raw and cum inside them. i don't like white girls who act black. i like white girls who love being white. those "oh my god becky" kind of white girls. i will eventually marry a white woman some day and pump her full of kids. there is just something about white women i can't explain. i love them.
wow CC what can we say? I'm speechless although I should not be surprised. As for not mentioning BM anymore, that is not what I meant. I just mean I will leave the topic alone for now! Girl you know me better than that. They are not going to control what I say/do on my blog! Thanks for the post, I hope some sistas can recognize this is a very damaged and dilusional man who is sticking his thing in ANYTHING white! That is a very scary thought! I almost feel sorry for the ww he ends up with. He only wants her skin! how sick....
This guy sounds like a sex and porn addict who has a fetish for white skin. Really no different from any other porn addict. Lets face it, you can point to anything in the Penneys catalog and some freak out there wants to stick his penis in it. Really no loss.
Don't bother feeling sorry... one of the comments on the confession was, "This white woman likes the way you think..."
Whatever. They can have them lol
Isn't it better for us BW that a BM like the porn addict above DOES only want a WW? Why would we wish him on any BW.
Oh my goodness, that "man" is so pathetic. And why would you get involved with a druggie in the first place. You just know that whoever posted that is one of those people under the delusion that they can "change" someone. Have some damn standards.
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