Sistas are doin' it for themselves!
Former Sec. of Defense on below: with his wife Janet and Anonymous wealthy married couple above:2 sistas putting themselves first, marrying the best man for them, and living the good life! ----- Yay!!----Go head yall!!!
I did not write the following article. My favorite judge did. Judge Greg Mathis. I watch his show faithfully, and truly love him and value his opinion. After reading his assessment of Black women, all I can say is -Go' on yall! keep doin what you're doing-because yall are doing great!
Congradulations Sistas! And keep up the good work!
}Commentary: Time to Step It Up, Brothers – We’ve Got to Do More to Keep Up with Our Sisters
Black women are doing great things: they’re graduating from colleges and graduate schools in record numbers, running their own businesses, buying their own homes. All over this country, sistas are doing it for themselves. And they deserve all the success they get.
Black women have overcome countless obstacles, battling racism and sexism, both overt and subtle, to get their just due. But, for every black woman that wins, there are numerous black men that don’t even get the chance to play in the game. This isn’t meant to compare the two. It is meant, however, to get brothas to realize that, while the system may not always be in their favor, they owe it to themselves, their communities and their women to step up and work it the best way they can.
Statistics suggest that black women currently own more companies than black men. Data recently released by the Small Business Administration shows that businesses owned by black women increased by 75 percent since the last census, compared to only a 29 percent growth in businesses owned by black men. The disparities don’t end there: Black women currently receive about two-thirds of all college degrees awarded, nearly 70 percent of all master’s degrees and close to 60 percent of all doctorates. Sistas also outnumber black men in the country’s medical, dental and law schools.
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The fact that black women are outdistancing black men in so many areas is a cause for concern. As our women succeed, they are positioned to become tomorrow’s business leaders and decision makers. The black male voice will become more and more obsolete. Our families, too, will suffer. Education and income disparities make it increasingly harder for black men and women to relate to each other, causing rifts in relationships, breaking up families. Over time, our young men will suffer as they’ll have fewer male role models to look up to....
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Judge Greg Mathis is national vice president of Rainbow PUSH and a national board member of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference.
Black women are doing great things: they’re graduating from colleges and graduate schools in record numbers, running their own businesses, buying their own homes. All over this country, sistas are doing it for themselves. And they deserve all the success they get.
Black women have overcome countless obstacles, battling racism and sexism, both overt and subtle, to get their just due. But, for every black woman that wins, there are numerous black men that don’t even get the chance to play in the game. This isn’t meant to compare the two. It is meant, however, to get brothas to realize that, while the system may not always be in their favor, they owe it to themselves, their communities and their women to step up and work it the best way they can.
Statistics suggest that black women currently own more companies than black men. Data recently released by the Small Business Administration shows that businesses owned by black women increased by 75 percent since the last census, compared to only a 29 percent growth in businesses owned by black men. The disparities don’t end there: Black women currently receive about two-thirds of all college degrees awarded, nearly 70 percent of all master’s degrees and close to 60 percent of all doctorates. Sistas also outnumber black men in the country’s medical, dental and law schools.
document.write('');
The fact that black women are outdistancing black men in so many areas is a cause for concern. As our women succeed, they are positioned to become tomorrow’s business leaders and decision makers. The black male voice will become more and more obsolete. Our families, too, will suffer. Education and income disparities make it increasingly harder for black men and women to relate to each other, causing rifts in relationships, breaking up families. Over time, our young men will suffer as they’ll have fewer male role models to look up to....
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Judge Greg Mathis is national vice president of Rainbow PUSH and a national board member of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference.
I agree with most of what he says except about our families will suffer in the future, because black families have been suffering-from a lack of men being in the picture. I think now is the time for all sistas to put themselve and their present/future children first and go for SELF! in all areas of life. Go for the best education you can get!
Go for the best job you can get, and of course, go for the best man you can get -regardless of his color! Don't worrry about the BC Brothas, believe me, are not worried about you, They've been gone. so what! - Keep on striving, and tell every sista to see to do the same. Always look out for your best interest and don't worry about what others are doing. Just be the best at whatever you do!!!!
I found out along time ago, there is no discrimination against the
best!- Oprah
posted by Taylor-Sara @ 8:22 PM
31 Comments
31 Comments:
Sara
If you allow me, I want to add that I'm living/working in Switzerland and it's been a very rewarding (irrespective of the many obstacles) experience. I would like to encourage any black female who wants to "move out of their environment" and are educated, with focus on IT, banking and law to contact you (will forward you the contacts I have) for a list of headhunters who specialise in these areas. Being a U.S. citizen it is a difficult process to procure a work permit (qualified EC citizens are given first dibs), but it's doable. So get your CVs in now, if you're interested in broadening your horizens.
i love how you termed it, 'Go for self'. i mean thats it in a nutshell!
We have been going for all sorts of things; for community, for bm, for black unity etc etc, without checking how 'self' was being served in all these. ok we got told that it would be and we accepted it 'by faith' without doing our own calculations.
i hope jugde Mathis is not asking sisters to 'wait up' though, because thats the embedded message that always seems to come along with such pieces, or the one which bw seem to quickly get drawn to!
IR Dating E-Book
That is something to consider... Thanx chandy...BTW another great blog!
Very sexy couple at the top. Is this guy actually her husband (the young couple)?
Halima I was a bit concerned about that as well, I can't agree that our families will be hurt if black women keep being shining stars.... So many bm are already gone! I felt very uncomfortable reading the last part as well, because nobody can afford to wait for someone to catch up, especially sistas!And we certainly cannot afford to worry about what brothers are doing because no matter what, they are going to blame us and we know that. We have got to go for self! That is why Oprah put those wonderful schools in S. Africa, and made them excusively for girls. she said girls are the ones having the babies and it is imperative that they have a good education and can take care of themselves and their children. I sent her a thank you card, I was so proud and happy she helped those wonderful little girls...
We all have the same amount of time to do what we want to do. No matter the gender or race, every person is given 24 hours each day to accomplish something. If bw decide to go forward and make something of their lives bm can do the same. My Mom told me about what their pastor's wife (from my childhood bchurch) said for them to tell me. Basically she was telling me to slow down 'so I could be caught'. I told my Mom that I'm not slowing up for anyone. Mom knew full well what my reaction would be:)
If the man is not where I am at so be it. I do not believe in reincarnation. I will only go through life on this earth ONCE. I will make the best of it with or without someone. For anyone to ask me to slow up is a total waste of breath that could be used their last day on earth. I have a life to live.
I know that's right. We cannot afford to slow down for anyone! Life is too damn short, and I think we all know in the back of our minds black men will prob. never catch up because too many of them are trying to be rap stars and NFL picks! When any sensible person knows for every rap star or player who makes it 100.000 are rejected. Do those sound like viable odds to you?
I know this is a little irrelevant, but even though I'm about 90% sure that if he had been marrying age now he would've married a white woman, I still want Obama to win. I see he's pulling through and it makes me happy.
Chandy, how has Swizerland been so rewarding for you?
Love the side bar note sara! The 'derailers' have been trying havent they lol! They didnt reckon with the fact that we are a little more sophisticated than to be pushed off course by such low level techniques!
However i do believe a lot of bw readily buy into and push ideas without understanding the intent behind them, particularly when they sound plausible on the face of it eg 'why talk about bm at all'.
Many dont see/understand that not bringing bm into the analysis means not revealing the critical issues that should convince bw to widen their search.
I guess it falls to us to give such requests that a bit more thought than the request-maker!
IR Dating E-Book
Hey Sara,
I enjoy Judge Mathis as well, but like you, I don't agree about the part of black families will suffer. They are already suffering even when black women stay in the BC. When black women get into functional relationships with men, regardless of race, who have proved to be good providers and loving fathers, can families truly thrive.
Really, when are black women going to wake up? I'm really getting frustrated by the fear component: Afraid of what men are going to think of you and what your peers in the BC is going to think of you. No one is going to live your life for you! If anything, the folks who are languishing on average to below average will just bring you down. This could be your last day on earth and some are worried about how they will be perceived by others.
A side note, I could care less about the factions that have been created in the blogging IR world, like the reactionary movement in response to the DBRbm discourse. Certain truths hurt.
Another thing, why is Obama being picked apart because he's married to a black woman? Why are so many black women so suspicious of anyone (outside of bm) wanting to love them? Two mindsets have emerged in regard to his wife. Because he is married to a black woman, we should vote for him, or, because he is married to a black woman, he did it for political expediency and we should mistrust him. Obama is a biracial man, and although he is categorized as black in the United States, there are some black people who are suspicious of him because he is biracial. Would some bw feel better if he did marry a white woman or a mixed looking bw in order to justify their suspicious views on how non-bm view bw? SMH.
"I know this is a little irrelevant, but even though I'm about 90% sure that if he had been marrying age now he would've married a white woman, I still want Obama to win. I see he's pulling through and it makes me happy."
I have to disagree. The climate was such that 10 years ago, Barack could've married a white woman if he wanted to. But, Michelle was who he wanted. She tried to put him off on her friend, but he pursued her instead. Black men are about 20-30 years ahead of black women in their IR thing so that was not a problem for Barack.
Besides, Barack knows exactly what time it is. If he wants a career in politics in the Democratic party, he does NOT need being married to a white woman messing that up. Too many black women votes at steak.
To top anon, yes they are.
To halima, thank you- They were about to make me forget I was a lady writing, bitching, moaning and emailing me, telling me stop saying bad things about black men, I'm just telling the truth about bm. If it's bad -oh well....
Phoenix girl! how are you? how is that handsome man-so good to hear from you....
Hi ladies,
I have a question for all of you:
Would you prefer a non-black gentleman who loves/prefers black women, or a non-black gentleman who has no preference, he'll date whomever he is attracted to and considers "a good woman?"
It's sad how we Black women are always waiting on the "sucker punch" or the ball to drop -- because why on Earth would good things happen to or for us? We have to stop thinking that way because I have a feeling that we end up creating that for ourselves when we do.
I heard Michelle Obama speak to a group of supporters on CNN and OMG...she is absolutely amazing, smart, elegant, and brilliant. I was so proud, just as I am proud of Condi Rice because she is brilliant as well and poised too! Barack is a lucky man -- perhaps we should look at it that way. He knows it and he said it!! Some of us think so little of ourselves that we have the nerve to say that the man would have married a WW if things were different or another time or whatever was said. Our constant verbal beating/messages from the BC tells us that we are not worth a quality man...or any man except maybe a BM once we jump through his hoops and prove ourselves to him (no matter what level the man is); which is why some of us accept and expect so little from men. I am watching Oprah and a woman just said "just because you believed something for a long time does not mean that you have to believe it forever!" So true. I am now very suspicious of any person who suggests that I accept less than...no matter what it is. I get so pissed sometimes when I recall the things said to me by the BC (Esp.) of how I need to wait on a good BM.
Sara, continue to be bold and fearless with your message...and it is more than just a message, it is the truth!!! Some of us will just never be able to accept that we have to look out for our best interests and that starts with our health, education, mating, and reproduction (if you choose to have kids) -- other women are so far ahead of us on this issue...well, some of us. I also am open enough to see that not every person in the BC means harm when they say some of this ignorant stuff, they are just passing down there slavish mentality; nevertheless, it has caused us lots of harm and low self-esteem.
"Some of us think so little of ourselves that we have the nerve to say that the man would have married a WW if things were different or another time or whatever was said."
I agree with you, I think Michelle is a force, but I didn't make this comment because I think so little of BLACK WOMEN, it's because I associate black men of his demeanor with choosing white women. (I suppose if one wants to be tactless, they can see it's perhaps because I think so little of black men.) This has been my experience, from what I've seen. I KNOW sistas have a lot to be proud of! I just wonder if the articulate, successful, ambitious black man who succeeds in corporate America sees it. Because more often than not, that black man is choosing a white wife. And why? When there are women like Michelle who can - and DO - bring it.
Hey Sara. :) I'm doing good! I've been so busy and running around as of late. Me and the significant other are doing great. It is wonderful to come home to a loving partner after the end of a crazy day.
For CC's question:
Speaking only for myself, I don't care if the non bm has a preference (or not) for bw. The important thing is that he loves women in general.
CC. I don't care either. Why would I? A good man is a good man I don't care if he prefers black or not.
I wonder how they met. The Secretary of Defense wrote a book with his wife about their life so I assume it's included there. She was at the receiving end of some racist sexist crap from Don Imus long before the "nappy headed hos" comment. I love meeting people with completely different and exciting backgrounds and life experiences. Imagine the great conversations and debate!
Judge Mathis didn't say anything new though I respect him for pulling himself up and also giving people opportunities to do the same.
gorgeousblackwomen
I know this is a little irrelevant, but even though I'm about 90% sure that if he had been marrying age now he would've married a white woman, I still want Obama to win. I see he's pulling through and it makes me happy.
I heard that he dated a white girl and broke up with her specifically because she was white. I think I remember hearing that being discussed on "The View".
He seems to really love, respect and admire his wife, as he should. They look at each other as if they are really in love
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Girl,
you keep giving me hope - thank you.
for years i would date BM because I felt the need to fit in.
Well heck, they don't allow me to fit in anyway, so i stopped trying.
People in general always want to put you in a box, squeeze you into some sort of category so they can be prejudicial and treat you accordingly.
Then when you don't fit in, they have problems with you, and are either mean, or ostracize you.
I see many WM and speak, and they are cheery back, but none make a move. I am sure something will happen this year.
I am determined to get out more and meet more people. Because people know people.
BW - keep on doing what your doing. Stay proud and we will find the right MAN. Color/Race negligible.
To top anon, yes they are.
Then that post about how white women get angry at seeing black women would apply here. That guy is smokin hot!
I can be a pretty friendly gal, especially in smaller settings. I have NEVER had a wm look at me crazy when I spoke to them. EVERY TIME they would at least speak back. Many of them continued conversations with me. I have however had SOME, not all, bm look away, roll their eyes or something like they thought I was filth. I agree with the previous poster. I have not fit in as well either.
I'm attending my college homecoming this weekend. One person that I have not seen in over 20 years is a wm that I had a major crush on. We got pretty close but not to the point where we would have gotten engaged. That pretty much ended when he graduated. Neither of us have married or have any little ones. I don't know what to expect but I remember him as a very fun fellow. I hope to reconnect with him at least for a friendship. It would be hilarious if we started a relationship after all these years.
" But, for every black woman that wins, there are numerous black men that don’t even get the chance to play in the game".
I'm not quite sure that I understand what point that the Judge is trying to make here? Is he suggesting that somehow BW have it easier and BM have it harder? Is he suggesting the BW have opportunities that BM do not have? Is he suggesting that BW are allowed to participate in certain areas that BM are not?
Is he suggesting that BW have an advantage that BM do not? Is he suggesting that BM suffer discrimination to a greater degree than BW?
While I certainly don't want to upset anyone here, I can't help but think that this is another veiled, though unintended, way of creating a sense of "guilt" about the success that larger and larger numbers of BW have achieved. This sense of "guilt" can carry with it the implicit message that, "ya'll need to wait up"-hence the idea that families will suffer if you don't help to correct this imbalance by waiting.
It seems to me that the greater message here is that BW have understood and embraced the idea that hard work and determination will produce results, while wallowing in self-pity and bitterness yield nothing frustration and resentment.
Or am I missing something?
very astute and well thought out grant. Perhaps this is the embedded message helima was referring to. Why do bm, even ones we hold in extremely high esteem seem to keep trying to give us the message that the collective failure of the average bm is our faulth? I absolutely love Judge Mathis, but I just cannot accept this rationale! If anything we have been waiting on bm to get their act together, many of us have waited for them to come home or just waited for them to stop dogging us-and it has not happened. And we cannot afford to wait! Sistas please whatever you do, don't put your life off waiting on any man. Tommorrow is not promised to you! If Selena had not defied her entire family and married the love of her life, she never would have had a husband. Because she was murdered 2 short years later! And even though that is horrible, she had those 2 wonderful years with a man who adored her.....Tommorrow is not promised... live it NOW!
Chandy,
I'd like your contact list. I will be at a Conference for lawyers in Berlin in mid-May, and I will be going to Switzerland thereafter on business. Then I'm thinking of taking a few vacay days to Go to another Country or 2. I'm interested in making the Most of my trip professionally(relocation sounds interesting) and socially. Where are good places to Go over there for a mid 30ish single sista? My email for the list is jkm1071@yahoo.com. Thanks!
>>But, for every black woman that wins, there are numerous black men that don’t even get the chance to play in the game. This isn’t meant to compare the two.
>>The fact that black women are outdistancing black men in so many areas is a cause for concern. As our women succeed, they are positioned to become tomorrow’s business leaders and decision makers. The black male voice will become more and more obsolete. Our families, too, will suffer.
If Judge Mathis was honest he would be comparing the status of black men to all the other races of men in America. Instead he is casting the mainstreaming of black women as a competition between black men and women. The lack of progress for black men is about black men, not black women.
I don't agree with his use of the words "our women." I'm not owned by anyone, especially the mythical black community. If a black man, who is not a blood relative, isn't succeeding in America, I really and honestly do not consider it my problem.
Plus, there's a big problem with his logic. Upper income and successful black men have no problem going out marrying and making families with non-black women. Therefore, more equally educated / employed black men does not automatically translate into any significant benefit to black women.
And we shouldn't hold our breaths to wait for it to happen either.
So, if black women can't locate black men of equal standing they need to find non-black men. Simple. That takes care of the broken families and unequal relationships problem.
Pamela said...
If the man is not where I am at so be it. I do not believe in reincarnation. I will only go through life on this earth ONCE. I will make the best of it with or without someone. For anyone to ask me to slow up is a total waste of breath that could be used their last day on earth. I have a life to live.
_______________________
Very on point. I personally do not want to live a life of regret.
I adore and admire Judge Mathis also, but I also felt that subtle sting of blame...although, he is proud of the accomplishments made by BW. I don't even think that he meant it in a negative way, but it is so ingrained in us that BW must carry BM and that BM are not as responsible or accountable for their actions and choices as BW are.
I agree also on the comment made by a poster that Judge Mathis's statement seems to place BW in competition with BM and some BM see it that way. It's barber shop talk and I have heard it all before.
We seem to be the only women who have to apologize for success. If we date/marry men of other races, get advanced degrees, take up different hobbies, speak well, travel, etc. we are blamed and called sell outs! You would think that men would be attracted to that!!
Mel, what is the lawyers' conference that you'll be attending in May, and how do I find out more about it?
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