Bill Cosby's controversial speech, Did you agree with him?
Bill Cosby caused alot of waves when he spoke at Spelman College in Atlanta. Many in the BC were livid and promptly denounced him. How do you feel about his speech? Do you agree or not and for what reasons? Below are portions of the speech.....
"You have to know that it is time for you all to take charge," Cosby said. "You have to seriously see yourselves not as the old women where the men stood in front and you all stood behind, because the men, most of them are in prison."
Added Cosby: "It is time for you to pick up the pace and lead because the men are not there. They're not there and every one of you young women know it.
When one of the 500 members of the graduating class accepted her diploma, Cosby said, "there's no time for you to fool around anymore. You've got to [get serious] because our race depends upon you and your sisters graduating all across the United States to realize that what's left is you."
Cosby, 68, said he realized that part of his speech would not go over well among many in the audience.
"I'm going to speak to these young women about taking charge and I know it's going to be fearful and it's going to tweak a lot of things," he told The Associated Press in an interview before the ceremony. "They have to because it's in their lives and it's real. It is there. They are going to be needed to protect the legacy that is good."
Cosby told the graduates that the same male students who are dropping out of high school "have memorized the lyrics of very difficult rap songs. And they know how to send their sperm cells out and then walk away from the responsibility of something called fatherhood."
Cosby said his comments were not directed to all black males, but noted that 70 percent of black graduates this year are female.
"Who's running the show?" Cosby asked. "It appears that the male is, but I have news for you. It's your turn. We want you to lead in business. We want you to lead in medicine. We want you to lead in everything."
In 1987 Cosby and his wife, Camille, gave a $20 million gift to Spelman, which is celebrating its 125th anniversary this year. The Camille Olivia Hanks Cosby Academic Center on the campus opened in 1996.
>>
I actually agreed with most of what he said except for once again, bw were encouraged to take on the man's role in many endeavors, instead of being encouraged to find men of different races if bm were not available. This, I notice, seems to be a recurring theme among even strong, rich, capable black men. I do not believe I have ever heard them encourage sisters to move on to the lives they deserve with other races. Instead like Cosby, women were encouraged to stay strong, take the reigns, be the leader or better yet be the backbone. Ladies you as women were not meant to be the backbone. Let's get that straight right now. You were meant to be the princess whom a good man is happy to work hard for and come home to. Lets face it many of us work extremely hard at our jobs. Many of us are in school and working 1 or 2 jobs! Does the thought of coming home and continuing to work like a dog motivate you? It does not do anything for me. Although I agreed with many of his comments, I certainly disagreed that we should take on even more roles than we already have. below are some of the comments to his speech.....
They are as follows:
Some of the comments were as follows:
Thursday, May 18, 2006 /
>> I like on CNN when he asked why are our men willing to sell drugs instead of flipping burgers? What is the culture in that? Where has the pride gone?
Sorry, but that’s a silly question. I’m not advocating for it, but the fact of the matter is, selling drugs is about the closest that most black men will ever get to the “American Dream” (entrepreneurialship). Other races aren’t as quick to resort to it because they have other avenues available to them.
Shit, as much as this country tries to pretend like terrorists from the Middle East are the enemy, the black man is still public enemy #1. A bank will extend a line of credit to an Arab QUICK, but let a black man (or woman) walk up in there asking for some credit. Even if they have the right credit score, they’ll still get laughed right out. Don’t believe me, walk around Detroit. All black people, many of them well-to-do, but you will be HARD-pressed to find a black-owned corner store.
I don’t mind Bill Cosby speaking the truth; the problem is, he’s not telling the WHOLE truth. It seems like he thinks the problems in the black community stem from some sort of lack of character, when that isn’t the case.
I think he should be willing to admit that, yes black men have their shortcomings, but the deck is stacked against him SO much more than anyone else. Everyone isn’t going to persevere the way he was able to do, and there are a plethora of reasons for that. Shit, if he’s going to constantly mention the amount of black men in prison, he should also be willing to say that, on average, a black man get 3x the amount of prison time as a white man FOR THE SAME CRIME. Does he not see a problem there? Obviously, if black men are given unjustly longer sentences, there will be more of them in there. People try to say that’s an excuse, but it’s not. That’s a FACT, and that shit needs to be addressed too.
Thursday, May 18, 2006 /
I dont understand some folks on here questioning whether he drugged some woman or fondled her. That is media hype and speculation. Bill is trying to speak out on the ills of our culture. Guide us in a different direction because face it ” Im in Love With a Srtripper” as a song. Peep the lyrics now days. Songs used to read like poems. Now they read like..well if you can even read or translate it, crap. This is just another attempt to cloud our judgement. Throw in a scandal to reroute the losers who cant see thru that type of stuff. Study your history. Study the manipulation and lies that have been practiced throughout history. Black people need to trust first ourselves, then each other. We are so hateful toward the next and when Bill who has been in the industry when half these rappers were in diapers, tries to school these ignoramouses..if thats a word. You get my point, Dont let some so called scandal speak for the REAL TRUTH , which is the culture is out of control
Thursday, May 18, 2006 /
Ginger,I don’t think that black men sell drugs to be business owners. They sell drugs because they want alot of fast money, bling and fancy cars without having to work hard or honest. They all want to imulate the rap stars and have grandeur lifestyles as if we all are “supposed” to have this. Everyone was not mean to be rich. We all can work hard to have a decent lifestyle or some sort of wealth without selling drugs. We are full of excuses and embarassing. Smh.
Sure the black man is a enemy is our society, but the black man has begun to reinforce his enemy status to a further degree. Hell, the black man had it far worse back in the 50s and 60s and even before then, yet he still took time from all that hell to be a decent father, husband, business owner, hard worker civil rights fighter and go to college– and dress like he had some sense. Like I said excuses, excuses.
Thursday, May 18, 2006 /
Oh, no Judah. I do not have man issues because I have decided a while ago that the black man was black history for me.
I have been dating men outside of my race and honestly I have never been treated better. I know that all brothas do not fall under the “lazy, shiftless” status but as Greentee said alot of you are guilty as hell.
Thursday, May 18, 2006 /
JUDAH… Kick That Shit WhyDon’tCha !!!!!On the REAL, I WISH the VERY BEST for ALL you successful Black Women who choose to diss the Black MenLeave US alone and We will do the same !!!And for the Sistas who haven’t given up on ALL of Black Men (Successful as well as the misguided)…WE LOVE YOU, WE ADORE YOU AND WE NEED YOU…WE NEED YOUR SPIRIT, YOUR SUPPORT AND YOUR UNDERSTANDING!!!BUT Most of All, We NEED Your Love and Kindess to Help/See US Through
181.
Thursday, May 18, 2006 /
@Ginger
Wow! I am shocked! I think yours is the first post I read where the entire thing was just complete bull sh*t from beginning to end! I am not feeling you AT ALL!! Especially the first paragraph:
“>> I like on CNN when he asked why are our men willing to sell drugs instead of flipping burgers? What is the culture in that? Where has the pride gone?
Sorry, but that’s a silly question. I’m not advocating for it, but the fact of the matter is, selling drugs is about the closest that most black men will ever get to the “American Dream” (entrepreneurialship). Other races aren’t as quick to resort to it because they have other avenues available to them.”
How can you say with a straight face that you love black men when you’re saying that selling drugs is the best that most of them can do?
You are just full of it! I know you have the right to your opinion, but damn girl, you really need to look at what you’re saying.
I’m tired of people treating blackness like it’s a social (and mental) handicap. The only black people who have it worse off are those that BELIEVE that they have it worse off. If you say that things are hopeless, then, guess what, they ARE! People can do whatever they put their minds to, and that includes black people.
186.
JudahThursday, May 18, 2006 /
Of course, I have nothing to prove to some guy on a messageboard but Judah I have always and always will conducted myself with the upmost respect. I was raised that way. Stop trying to makes excuses for brothas that are trifling or are you making excuses for yourself?
188.
Judah
Thursday, May 18, 2006 /
sOMETHING FIERCE:
Like I said before, I LOVE THE BLACK MAN. I love ya’ll willingness to overcome all the judgements and criticisms…Ya’ll a force to be reckoned with!! Period. The black man is a sleeping lion!!! White folks are scared of the black man…I have read a lot of these posts and some of ya’ll black sistas has allowed your education to delude your minds from the truth…Divide and conquer is the name of the game..and we are playing right into the hands of it. Black women, with our education, we can help our men be better not down them and tell them, I’ll get a white man…ya’ll sick!! I respect Cosby and like I said some of his comments are true, but the black man needs love and support not CONDEMNATION. He made it, so help others make it, if he feel the black man isn’t doing nothing….then do domething to help. The black woman is to be At the Black Man’s side not pointing her finger in his face…that’s why black men don’t respect some black women now, cause we feel like we have made it so they (the black man) aint nothing now. Trust me, if you show a black man love and support, he’ll support you back. Trust me, unless he got mental problems. Cosby himself got a wonderful black woman at his side, trust me he didn’t make t without her love…
192.
posted by Taylor-Sara @ 5:47 PM
48 Comments
48 Comments:
Sara, Great post.
I must admit that I am a fan of Dr. Cosby and I have heard Dr. Cosby speak out about bm going to jail at higher rates and he also had some ideas about how to help these men. Also, I believe if he read your blog he would understand where you are coming from. However, imagine the uproar Dr. Cosby would cause if he began telling bw to marry out...WWIII.
Without a doubt Dr. Cosby understands a bw's position better than we think he does...he has at least 4 daughters. On the other hand, he has to tackle one issue at a time and do not be surprise one day when he gives a speech and he suggests to the females that maybe they should marry out. I believe Dr. Cosby was thinking in terms of the "blk. community." But, he practically said it himself..."what community?" I believe in his own way Dr. Cosby was telling the ladies at Spelman you will have to look out for yourselves because the majority of the men are not going to look out for you and you educated ladies do not have the time to waste of men who do not want to work as hard as you. Get your own businesses, etc.
Some ppl. are annoyed by Dr. Cosby simply because he is telling the truth.
Ann F.
testing
I just lost all of my comments.
Bill Cosby is saying what a lot of us are thinking. However most of us are afraid to air our dirty laundry. Too worried about how the white community will view us. As if our mess is a secret anyway. Our silence is killing us.
"Without a doubt Dr. Cosby understands a bw's position better than we think he does...he has at least 4 daughters."
Some black fathers will tell their daughters to keep waiting and holding it down for BM. I think even in his book (no I have not read it) there's a chapter entitled Sisters Hang In There.
Mabybe I'm just reading too much into this, but it seems to me that the implicit theme of this speech was that BW should continue to be mammys and do all of the heavy lifting because there isn't anyone else left to do it. The emphasis is clearly on BW not only achieving, but also sacrificing and, as you point out Sara, assuming the man's role in rebuilding/maintaining the BC. Isn't this type of thinking exactly what BW are trying to get away from? Isn't looking out for your own best interests and expanding your relationship options apart from what some group or "community" dictates precisely what BW are trying to achieve? I'm afraid I fail to see that this address provides anything but the same old "program" dressed up with a few frills. Am I wrong?
Save for the part about the future depending on women and it being up to women to "save" an entire group of people, he makes a valid point. However, if you think about it - that is a warning to women about what to be expected from the community. Message is - expect folks to push up on you with that nonesense. Knowledge is power - know it and use that knowledge. Walk away from that losing game.
Women have the "strength" to resist that line of bull. Often women are taught to lead and be stand on their own feet i.e. be strong until a man comes along and hand over the fruits of their labor to men to lead. Leadership and respect are not automatically given to anyone they have to be earned. Reframe "strong" in terms of being self reliant, and providing needed nurturing and caring for your mind, body, soul and spirit and supporting your dreams your future depends on it. Only by taking care of yourself will you survive.
Being self reliant, able to take care of and provide for themselves and their dreams and not waiting on someone else to do it for them, or give permission, encouragement or support all of which is deserved but not forthcoming from the "BC". Essentially he told the truth building a life that support their dreams w/out waiting for someone or stepping back to the old tired worn out ways is not an option. The fact that women are going to have to do that does not make them any less a woman - that is the fact they need to get. Do not let the "strength" over take the woman within.
He really told the truth - the happiness and health of women is their first responsibility - no one else is going to do it. It is what it is - believe what you see - live your truth. Expect that people are going to expect women to "save" the "race - know this is a fact. His stating that people are going to try and push up on women and foist that "save the race BS" is doing women a favor letting them know what to expect. Just because people expect does not mean women are obligated to do it. He is saying this is the real deal folks are going to putting pressure on - be prepared. Stay strong i.e. stay true to yourself, take care of yourself - do not sell yourself short and buy into the hype of men or the BC. Your future belongs to you and you have what it takes to live your dream. He is saying folks are going to feed you a load of BS and attempt push their agenda on you - resist that urge and take care of yourself failing to do that means more than words can tell.
V/r
Clarice
that's pretty much what I got grant. although I know his heart is in the right place. That message will not help us! I love bill but I think he's still mired by his conditioning. We need men! We cannot wait for brothers to get out of jail or get their act together. God only gives us all a certain amount of time and then it's over. Sistas MUST move on!
I suppose it is all in how you read what Dr. Crosby wrote. Yes, his heart is in the right place. Yes, he knows first hand about dbrm. One of his daughters used to date Mick Tyson. What was she thinking and Mick tried to do sent to her and daddy Bill was on his job as a Father should have been. So, in my opinion Dr. Crosby is not telling females to wait on any man just continue to educate yourselves and build the best future for yourselves with or without a man.
Ann F.
grant, very perceptive and insightful comments.
Y'all can sit and wait on "the good black man" all you want but it's a LOST.CAUSE. We as black women MUST move on. This holding the torch stuff is BULL.SHIT. PERIOD. POINT. BLANK. I love Bill Cosby and always will but that message is simply outdated. It does not apply to this day and time. And how many of us have to pass through life not being happy or living to our full potential because we are waiting on some mythical "good black man"? Please. For goodness sake wake the f*ck up...Save yourselves!
I actually agreed with most of what he said except for once again, bw were encouraged to take on the man's role in many endeavors, instead of being encouraged to find men of different races if bm were not available. This, I notice, seems to be a recurring theme among even strong, rich, capable black men. I do not believe I have ever heard them encourage sisters to move on to the lives they deserve with other races. Instead like Cosby, women were encouraged to stay strong, take the reigns, be the leader or better yet be the backbone.
This is the problem I had wish Mr Cosby's speech as well...Even if he does not agree with interracial dating(because of generational gap), the message to BW should have been to cease and desist carrying weight BM ought...That is the 1st step for Black women to begin the "freedom" process....Stop looking out for Lottie, Dottie & Everybody and your own expense!
"Black Women Deserve Better"
http://thecwexperience.wordpress.com
Anonymous said...
Y'all can sit and wait on "the good black man" all you want but it's a LOST.CAUSE. We as black women MUST move on. This holding the torch stuff is BULL.SHIT. PERIOD. POINT. BLANK. I love Bill Cosby and always will but that message is simply outdated. It does not apply to this day and time. And how many of us have to pass through life not being happy or living to our full potential because we are waiting on some mythical "good black man"? Please. For goodness sake wake the f*ck up...Save yourselves!
~~~~~
Yes, this is pretty much what I felt after reading what Dr. Cosby said as well. I love him to death, but his message that Black women need to continue to carry the BC on our backs because our so-called men aren't willing or able to do it is complete and utter BS. I'm sorry ladies, but I can't do it.
And grant, everything you said was 100% dead on the money. BW are still considered the mules of the World, and I for one and sick as hell of it. Blah!
If Dr. Cosby had said what he was probably really thinking (Black women, you need to stop sitting on your collective azzes and make your reality what you wish it to be. Date whoever wants to date you) he would have had the BC in even more of an uproar than he did over the "Ghettosburg Address" he gave.
It's time for all of us to stop hiding the truth, and it's damned sure time to stop mollycoddling these supposed to be grown azz men. I am not here to be their Mommy or their Mammy. I'm doing me and I'm surely going to tell the truth about the BC because it's time somebody did.
'Man that is born of a woman, has but a short time to live'
Man, I am referring to human kind. We have a short time to live and how we live our life, depends on how we see ourselves. We have been created for the glory of God, despite what others say or do. We can still be victors. If we are mothers, we pray for our children, if we are wives, we pray for our husbands. Husbands should pray for their wives, fathers pray for their children. If we are part of a community we pray for it, but let God do his/her work and we do our work on earth. We are not there to be mothers to our husbands, brothers, boyfriends, cousins, or mothers to the single black men in our communities. At the end of the day, we have to give an account of our stewardship. We all have free will and we have to make our own decisions. Although I am very pleased with Dr Crosby's speech. I feel that too long, we black women are made to feel guilty for irresponsible others, we are expected baby everyone. I have see it, clearly even in my own family and in the end you get old and you die and your dreams die with you. There are so many black women and men who could have been great scientists, writers, etc, because they held themselves back by dealing with the irresponsible. As much as we love our community, we have to forgive them, bless them and let them go, so that we can get on with our great lives. I remember at primary school, myself and another girl Jean Wilson, would always come to school with our pens, pencils and paper, there were four other black boys, Wilbert was the only one who as pens, but the others would never bring their pens, papers, or pencils to school and they would always ask us (Jean or myself), we would give them. When I complained to someone older in the black community, their answer was it's hard for black boys. It was almost like we became mothers at the age of 5, looking after these boys who quite frankly could not be bothered with their education.
"Dottie"??!
...It's just an example, right?
I'm just saying that because that's my name.
I agree with much of what Cosby says about bm/bw, but I too don't think we should have to continue to carry the load of the entire black race. I don't see any other culture of women (even African women) doing this. We are women and ladies, we were not designed to be the strength and foundation of our communities. If this was the case, the black community would be in much better shape than it is!
At 38, I realized that waiting on that good and right black man to come along probably wouldn't happen for me. I am intelligent, very attractive (as told by all races of men), I have a great career, make good money, own a beautiful home, a Christian, and I'm tall. Trying to wait on a black man that is comparable to me who isn't gay or on the down low is about near impossible. I know there are some great black men out there, just not enough for the masses of black women who want one.
We black women have been sitting around waiting on our black prince to arrive and in most instances, he's just not coming. If you don't believe me, compare the number of black women who go out with their girlfriends on the weekend vs. those who have dates! I don't understand why we don't wake up and realize that black men are not sitting around waiting on us, so why wait on them??? Black men want and expect black women to just sit around and wait to be "blessed" by their presence while they go on and live and enjoy their lives with women of other races. Why are we waiting? Exactly, what is so spectacular about black men that we will sit around by ourselves or with our girlfriends waiting on them to grace us with their presence, and when they arrive, most don't even know how to treat us? Hello? Is anyone home?
It is not our job to "save the black man." It is our job to help him. However, if he doesn't genuinely want our help to become a better person and to accomplish more for his life and that of his family and community, but would prefer to treat us like dogs (or worse), we need to kick him to the curb and allow men of other races to enter our lives who will treat us like the beautiful women we are.
Almost two years ago, I became friends with a white man who has been wonderful. This isn't to say that all white men are wonderful, because we can look at the nightly news and know better. However, in our talks, he tells me how there are plenty of white men that would love to date black women, but black women are so closed up about it. Why?? Is the goal to have a black man for the sake of having a black man, or to find men who will care for us and treat us the way we desire to be treated?
Black women, wake up!
This is actually starting to make me sick. How a grown woman can still fall for such nonsense just amazes me. What do you have to see/experience before you figure out the truth?
It is the mans job to take care of his woman. Why is it only black women that are expected to take care of/provide for/support/lift up/look out for/be down for etc, her man?
SISTERS, WAKE UP. WAKE THE F**K UP!
I don't believe that he was telling black women to be Mammies at all. I believe his message was to continue to strive to be better. Whether there is a black community or not, other's view us as belonging to the black community. I think Dr. Cosby was saying that in contrast to what is shown in the media: blacks being arrested, indecent rap videos, overall cultural immorality, Dr. Cosby was telling us (BW) to demonstrate that there are blacks doing something, changing the world, handling business.
YET AGAIN ANOTHER GREAT POST! I HAVE NOTHING BUT ADMIRATION AND RESPECT FOR DR. COSBY. HE WANTS US BLACK WOMEN TO NOT WAIT ON ANY MAN AND BE STRONG AND STABLE ON OUR OWN! IF A MAN COMES ALONG GREAT! TERRIFIC! BUT IF NOT-THEN WE ARE STILL ABLE TO MAINTAIN!
TORI
I have nothing but love and admiration for him either tory, but that is not the message I got. I kept hearing bw should take the load, take the lead take the reigns... I want to see beautiful bw with great men who allow her to PUT DOWN THE LOAD! Men who want nothing more than to be the MAN and let her be the woman. Men who will love and cherish her and enable her to have peace, contentment, and above all, something many bw have not had in a long time -Rest.... But like I said, his heart is in the right place...
Not trying the change the subject.
I was on Zabeth's blog and seen Gracelle and her twins posing on the cover of JET. So cute!
It would have sent a strong statement to many, many bw if her husband was shown with her. Yet, she poses alone like a single mom.
Maybe I'm reaching, but I have seen plenty bm/wm couples with their new babies on the cover, grinning from ear to ear.
Like Anonymous above said, they aren't enough 'good' black men out there and those who are playing mind games with black women. Like you I have my own place, money and career.
At 35, I realized and told myself my next husband will most likely be white (preferably with brown hair and green eyes) or Jewish. Dating black men takes too much energy and the rate of return is low. You either a main girl or jump off, so why put up with that. Trust me, odds you are not his only woman.
I don't believe in discrimination, but will only date black men casually. Honestly, I can't see myself building a future with one. Don't get me wrong, I am honest and tell this right off. I know I am a catch and will only marry for a man who deserves to have fine bw like myself.
"I have nothing but love and admiration for him either tory, but that is not the message I got. I kept hearing bw should take the load, take the lead take the reigns... I want to see beautiful bw with great men who allow her to PUT DOWN THE LOAD! Men who want nothing more than to be the MAN and let her be the woman. Men who will love and cherish her and enable her to have peace, contentment, and above all, something many bw have not had in a long time -Rest.... But like I said, his heart is in the right place..."
Well said, Sara.
I believe Cosby's heart is in the right place, but IMO he's still under the false assumption that BW "owe" the "bc" something.
BW don't owe ANYONE, not the "bc", and certainly not BM a damn thing.
Free people (and BW are free whether sistas take advantage of their full freedoms or not is up to them) do for and are only responsible for SELF.
Smart BW listening to certain portions of that message will let it go in one ear and out the other. Because they already know they're a "credit to their race". They're already achieving, and most sistas know that in the majority of cases as Cosby said, to paraphrase... "all that's good that's left is them".
This is OLD news.
If Cosby was actually expecting BW to continue to shoulder the burden of an entire people squarely on their backs, then he's insane.
I can't put words in his mouth, because I can't read his mind.
But if he did actually mean BW should continue being these spinster mammies, he's nuts.
More and more sistas are beginning to see the light though. And are finally being treated like the beautiful, cherishable women they are by real men who now how to appreciate sistas.
Cosby's speech was excellent and on point but this part was ridiculous IMO.
"It is time for you to pick up the pace and lead because the men are not there. They're not there and every one of you young women know it.”
Excuse me but you know what that. MEN lead and there is NO reason why a BW should be expected to take on the role of a man. If DBRBM want to take on the role of a child or woman, so be it.
BUT, a BW doesn't have to "pick up the pace and lead" because DBRBM aren't doing their job.
Kick them to the curb.
There are too many NON DBRBM to choose from who do possess masculine traits.
That is providing for, protecting, uplifting, etc... Just the basics nothing special.
Cosby was predominantly right but partially wrong.
- Felicia
It is not our job to "save the black man." It is our job to help him. However, if he doesn't genuinely want our help to become a better person and to accomplish more for his life and that of his family and community, but would prefer to treat us like dogs (or worse), we need to kick him to the curb and allow men of other races to enter our lives who will treat us like the beautiful women we are.
-----------------------------------
Um, it is NOT my job to 'help' the black man. It is not my 'job' to help anybody but myself. Black men are males. Only a useless idiot needs another WOMAN to 'help' him do the right thing.
IT IS NOT MY JOB TO HELP ANYBODY! As Janet Jackson said, "the only adults I have a duty to help are my parents". (In response to why she doesn't give all her brothers more money).
I can see that alot of us are still misguided. Sister, the only 'black man' whose job it is that you help are your father, your brothers(from your parents) and your sons. But even at that, it should be your brothers that are 'helping' you. They are men afterall. Why is it that the only race of woman expected to 'help' her man is the bw? We face more obstacles than bm do, yet we are supposed to help them? Give me a freakin' break!
Sara, Great Post and ladies and gentleman interesting comments.
I don't mind Cosby getting out there like he is. He is stating the truth as he sees it, and it's better than perpetuating lies and myths. It will be interesting to watch the progression of his awareness - whether he stops at BW taking charge or whether he is able to move on to BW dating out as a solution along with BW taking charge. But at least when Cosby speaks, people listen, whether they agree with him or not. It would be great if he were to start talking about BW dating out - that would certainly get broadcast throughout the BC (worldwide) and elsewhere!
That's so true Sandra, that would be fantastic!
I read it this way, that black women should take leadership roles in the community, take over all those high profile positions as doctors, lawyers, etc. It didn't seem to me that he was talking about taking over and then taking care of black men. It is about seizing leadership in the public realm because they are not in the position to do so.
Hmm...take over leadership roles in the community, with our white guys as the queens' consort...
I like that...
"...Excuse me but you know what that. MEN lead and there is NO reason why a BW should be expected to take on the role of a man. If DBRBM want to take on the role of a child or woman, so be it..."
_________
This is true Anon,
Then we called MASCULINE for taking their role!
pioneervalleywoman said:
Hmm...take over leadership roles in the community, with our white guys as the queens' consort...
I like that...
~~~~
Yesssssssssssss
BW strength, determination and drive + WM power = a whole lot of change goin' on.
Oh the possibilites...
"Not trying the change the subject.
I was on Zabeth's blog and seen Gracelle and her twins posing on the cover of JET. So cute!
It would have sent a strong statement to many, many bw if her husband was shown with her. Yet, she poses alone like a single mom.
Maybe I'm reaching, but I have seen plenty bm/wm couples with their new babies on the cover, grinning from ear to ear."
You're definitely right Energize. There is a reason why her husband is not included in the pic.
Dating black men takes too much energy and the rate of return is too low.
Can you say it again?
Dating black men takes too much energy and the rate of return is too low.
HOLLA!!!!
I dont agree with the rest of you regarding having respect for Bill Cosby. First of all, I agree with some of his message but why would he be going on the Sunday morning conservative talk show lecture to talk about the plight of black people. And he was talking a lot about black women. This only makes people who are not exposed to us think that MOST of us are like that. Just like when he was on Oprah. I actually hated that episode! They were sitting up there telling these white soccer moms about the problems in the black community and some of those white women had the most smug look on their faces shaking their heads in pity. I was pissed off!
I dont mind so much what he is saying but if you want to preach that stuff go on BET. Go to the ghetto and provide forums where you are actually talking to people in the hood. You dont reach people in the hood by appearing on Sunday morning conservative talk shows. This is my problem with Bill Cosby. I do have a problem with airing our dirty laundry for the entertainment of white people. Why is he telling white people about our problems? These are our problems and I have a problem with that.
Another problem that I have with him is that I believe that he sexually attacked that white girl years ago (at his house in Pennsylvania) that he claims that he did not. I think that he is a total hypocrite.
I would not care so much if he were preaching to black folks and white folks happen to overhear him. I have a problem with him going to white folks telling them about our problems. No other group (latinos, asians) air their dirty laundry...... especially not whites.
"It would have sent a strong statement to many, many bw if her husband was shown with her. Yet, she poses alone like a single mom."
They do this when they think the hubby doesn't matter. Same thing happened with Christina Aguilera and her recent People cover. Her husband is not famous and not photogenic, so they got her posing alone with her baby like she's a single mama. But do you think OK were gonna leave Brad Pitt off the cover after Shiloh was born? Heeeeeell no.
In reference to "Airing our dirty laundry"...whatever problems we may have the world already knows about it. FYI, BET is no longer blk. own...the idiots sold the company without any thought to keeping it blk own. The people who sold BET are now very rich and they are saying in their own way,"Kiss my butt."
Ann F.
Kudos to the anon who said Bill Cosby should stop airing our dirty laundry to white people. Unless he's talking to a black audience, he needs to KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT. He's not accomplishing anything by telling the mostly-white audience sitting at the Oprah show.
Zabeth said
"Some black fathers will tell their daughters to keep waiting and holding it down for BM. I think even in his book (no I have not read it) there's a chapter entitled Sisters Hang In There."
Bill Cosby is still very old school, I'm sure he would discourage IR dating, common belief for his generation.
This maybe slightly off topic but I remember when the Greg Behrendt's show was on the air. He did a show where this very attractive single bw was bought on the show by her parents and a friend in an attempt to help her find suitable mate. There were three men(2 bm and 1 wm, all good looking ) who were selected to compete to be with her and her parents had to choose who they thought was the best match for her.
The audience and I couldn't believe it when this women's black parents chose the wm for her, even she was surprised. Greg asked her parents why did they chose him and they said the 2 bm appeared to be players by the way they answered their questions, while the wm appeared to want a serious relationship so he was a better match for their daughter. I just thought that was very interesting and very telling, dont you think.
Annonymous, actually I agree with you about the not airing our laundry for public display. Still, the laundry is there to be seen. To me what is most important is SOLVING whatever the problems are. I appreciate your comments.
Ann F.
I can't beleive they had the nerve to pull that mess with Garcelle and not show her husband! How many times have they flaunted bm and their ww and newborn babies in our face! I don't care because BM with ww don't bother me, but how dare them refuse to show it the other way around. Instead they choose to make Garcelle look like she has no man! The nerve...
Bill Cosby has said publicly that he does not want his daughter dating white guys.
"Bill Cosby has said publicly that he does not want his daughter dating white guys."
If this is true F*CK Bill Cosby and anything he has to say. Hopefully his daughters have enough common sense to do what's best for them.
Just look at that Drama Bill put poor Camille through. Cheating. Fathering a daughter outside of his marriage. Drugging that woman...
And he has the nerve to say he doesn't want his daughter dating white guys.LOL It would be a STEP UP if his behavior is indicative of a sizable portion of "brotha's."
HELL, it would be a step up PERIOD.
Bill's got issues up the wazoo...
I wish someone would ask Dr. Crosby to update his opinion about interracial dating and the bf.
Ann F.
Anon, what are you talking about? enlighten me! what drugs? who did he supposedly drug? And I thought the girl was proven not to be his!
Sara..I believe Anon is talking about the case that was either dismissed (or settled out of court..I'm not sure) of a youngish biracial woman, who is/was apparently some kind of Basketball coach at Temple University. She alleged that she went to his house, was not feeling well, told him about it, and he gave her something for wahtever ailed her. She then claims she woke up some time later, with her buttons undone, and maybe her bra too (something like that)...and she did not remember anything....so she sued him...I have to say I would be more inclined to believe this woman, and I like what Bill Cosby has to say. I will reserve judgement on what he thinks of IR dating,(I don't even know what he thinks, nor do I care) and the choices that us BW must make to better our lives (although, quite frankly, his opinion has no bearing on what I do..lol)
To expand a bit more on the above scenario,let me just clarify. Just because I believe in what he says, does not mean that he has been a good man to a lot of women. He clearly has some behaviours that he needs to examine. His wife knows who she is married to..as for this young girl...well I wonder why she would go to his house when he is alone, and his wife is not at home. I don't necessarily think this is a bad move on her part. You have to remember that he has styled himself as America's Dad for a long time. She obviously thought she was safe with him. He has daughters OLDER than this woman.So she may have thought she could get some fatherly advice from him. He looks at her, and only sees a woman...and quite frankly, his behavior is predatory...Now I am only speculating here, and this really does not take away from his message. You just have to understand, that he is a man too...and he is not going to care for another man's daughters the same way he cares for his own.
Basically, we have to separate the man from his message. If Charles Manson says "America, and it's allies, should get out of Iraq, as soon as possible" it does not mean it is bad information. Unfortunately, most people just hear the name Charles Manson, and would be unable to separate this hideous person from the wise statement, if he ever would say such a thing (which he wouldn't, because he is bats--- crazy..but I just wanted to use an extreme example.)
"I actually agreed with most of what he said except for once again, bw were encouraged to take on the man's role in many endeavors, instead of being encouraged to find men of different races if bm were not available. This, I notice, seems to be a recurring theme among even strong, rich, capable black men. I do not believe I have ever heard them encourage sisters to move on to the lives they deserve with other races. Instead like Cosby, women were encouraged to stay strong, take the reigns, be the leader or better yet be the backbone."
Excellent point, Sara. Upon first reading his comments, it seemed to me to be a word of encouragement to black women, a message of empowerment. I didn't notice that he completely failed to mention the possibility of BW expanding their options and finding non-black men.
I don't know whether that was intentional or not, but I wouldn't have even noticed it had you not pointed it out.
When I first read this post a few days ago, I was like many of you, tired of the same ole refrain of, 'Save the BC'. But then I got to thinking of all the statistics that I have seen thrown around... over 60% of the black vote this election will be BW, BW control at least 60% of household wealth in the BC, 70% of our women are single, and 68% of our children are born OOW, then add in educational achievement. Considering that many BW are having to make decisions regarding money, health, children and education without the input/support of a male partner, perhaps Bill Cosby's speech is a recognition, maybe a plea, that where BW go, our communities will follow. I think his comments are more about a recognition that BW are leading by default.
That's an interesting observation Shocol...
"HE WANTS US BLACK WOMEN TO NOT WAIT ON ANY MAN AND BE STRONG AND STABLE ON OUR OWN!"
You do know that you don't have to do it on your own, right? Least of all because someone else is more comfortable with you being alone than daring to consider someone other than a Black man.
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