More and more WM seem to want US! + wealth tips (scroll down)
Beautiful model married Interracially + Subruni (Afr. wom.) and her family.
Why do we suddenly seem to be in -(more and more) in demand?
Many of us know exactly why we are attracted to WM but why the seemingly sudden attraction to US? That's the question. It seems more and more WM are openly pursuing BW! I can only speculate as I am not a man, but it seems to me to be the fact that more and more of us are open to them! See men are very open minded people to start with. People do not realize that WM are married interracially more than anyone else! (mostly to Asian women) Why AW? because AW are extremely receptive and make it abundantly clear they are looking for WM. Another factor, I believe is that they have ALWAYS been attracted to us. Honey, long before bm were even able to look at ww, there were millions of mixed babies being born -where do you think they came from? And I am sure you all have noticed from my side bar that the dark skin many brothas disparage seems to be in very high demand with the white boys! They seem to love the dark brown skin, the full lips, fuller rear and sensuous style of the BW more and more. But I think our biggest assets are not physical at all. I think it is the fact that we can weather the storms! We are the strongest women God has ever made. I really think WM are tired of women who fall apart if he loses his job, or everything is not perfect, or she does not get the picture perfect house and the 2.5 kids with the white Pickett fence. We have an indomitable spirit and strength and lets face it. Life sometimes requires it. How many WM have had a catastrophe and found themselves all alone because the wife decided he was no longer a catch-took the kiddies and left! I think many men are finally realizing that we are lovely not just skin-wise but life-wise! Here are a few comments from WM regarding this question.......
Comment by Ed.
I have dated out of my race more as I have gotten older also. We all have our reasons and maybe they are all similiar. I find women of color interesting and yes very attractive. I found that for the most part they are very aware of what is going on in the world which makes for good conversation. They are very loyal and devoted to their man. Dating is more difficult as we get older. Whom we choose to date or what color they are is not revelent to what and who will make us happy.
Comment by DENNIS
The main reason I date black women is because I am attracted to dark skin women. I love tan to dark skin women. I am also attracted to Asian women. So attractive! Most white women I know are so white they look sickly.
Comment by Ed
Obviously, there is a physical attraction but it's more than that.. Again, that’s a uniquely individual set of characteristics that can’t be nailed down to a simple black/white distinction. As to what creates attraction, I’d have to say that probably has as many variables.
Personally, I think it came from the fact that my first girlfriend (not first sexual partner) was black. She was beautiful but more importantly, I think, she was smart, personable, athletic (high on the list in grade school), funny and had a poetic soul. And she was built like a “brick house”…I’m kidding.
Wherever it came from, for me it is a preference, not an absolute. But if I’m going to have someone to spend the rest of my life with shouldn’t it be someone I have a preference for.....
Comment by tommy:
Im am italian but was born in brooklyn NY. I have traveled the united states and observed that black women are very open minded and independent. That is what attracts me to them They are naturally beautiful, street smart, culturally educated by their upbrings of their traditional family values. THat is what attracts me to them. Especially island black women and hispanic women have traditional culture values installed from their families over the centuries which makes a perfect wife.I cherish black women and would do anything for them no matter what if they show me the love and respect.
Comment by Michael:
I have wondered about this exact issue about myself many times. I can say that in general, I just love women, but I find my attention being grabbed by black women all of the time. I have come to the realization that the initial attraction is simply a preference. Just as some people that have preferences for a certain hair colour, or height, or or or… There are many other body characteristics that attract my eye as well, and speaking solely from the initial attraction level. I do love black women but it's more than the skin color....they are strong and beautiful.....
Comment by Gary
I have always found it hard to put into words what black women do to me. I immediately get a feeling of attraction inside. After talking with a black woman I can always tell that she is special and does not mind being treated like a lady. I know someday when I find my black wife I will treat her that way and I guarantee that she will treat me right too. Are you out there?????????
Comment by Gary
I have always found it hard to put into words what black women do to me. I immediately get a feeling of attraction inside. After talking with a black woman I can always tell that she is special and does not mind being treated like a lady. I know someday when I find my black wife I will treat her that way and I guarantee that she will treat me right too. Are you out there?????????
Anyway, feel free to add your own reflections and comments to this thread. Men please feel free to give your .02 worth. Below are the wealth ideas for those who need them-
___________________________________________________
(if you are a regular reader) feel free to write to me for help with your own ideas or any of mine....
Like I always say, million dollar ideas are floating around all the time.
You as a human being have the ability to change your circumstances any time you honestly choose to do so.... That being said lets move on to some more wealth ideas....
This is how Joe. H. came upon his million dollar idea. Remember your higher power is always ready to do the same for you....
1. Car Intermediary;
Joe could not find a job in his hometown. Since the mill had closed he had been struggling to feed his family and was on the verge of losing his home. He knew he had to come up with something. While sitting down to his meal of rice for the 3rd time that week, Joe racked his brain. His wife's face looked drawn and tight. Fear of the future had them both barely speaking anymore. Joe glanced out the front window and spied his run down Chevy. Man he wanted a new car! Hell, for that matter he wanted a new home new life ...... He just wanted to make things better for his poor wife. She had put up with so much! He watched as his disabled neighbor Benny struggled to get out of his new car. For one second Joe was jealous and the next he felt guilty. His neighbor was disabled and had been since birth. What kind of jerk would feel jealousy and anger instead of sympathy. He wiped his mouth and ran out to help Benny. Benny smiled gratefully up at Joe as he gently guided him from the car. "I had to wait 3 months for them to equip it so I could drive it and still they claim they don't have the part to help me exit it- it's so frustrating" Benny sighed. "I've been down there arguing with those people many times, and in my condition -that's a lot on me!" Joe nodded sympathetically, as he helped Benny into the house. But having a captive audience was too much for Benny. He showed Joe the mountain of paperwork, he had incurred trying to get the part that would enable him to exist freely from the car. He talked incessantly about how hard it was on him to go through this. Joe was sympathetic, but he could not help thinking-"at least you've got the money to buy that part and that car and any damn thing else you want!" But when he looked at Benny's tired face, he felt guilty. It wasn't Benny's fault he was broke and out of work. He suddenly had an idea. "Ben, whadda say I find that part for you for a fee?" he asked. Benny's face instantly brightened. "yes please -I'll gladly pay it. I'm so tired of trying to fight with these people-yes please!" Joe suddenly felt optimistic for the first time in months. He and Benny came to a fee agreement and within 2 days Joe had not only located the part but had arranged for the part to be installed in the car. He had the car back to Benny by the end of the week. Joe even had it washed he was -grateful for the fee he desperately needed. Benny, also was beside himself with gratitude. He not only paid Joe the 200.00 fee in cash, he called some of his disabled friends and referred them to Joe. Within 2 weeks Joe had a thriving business finding parts for not only disabled people but all kinds of special needs Medical, pregnancy, young, old or any kind of need. He would haggle with the dealer and save the client sometimes thousands thereby making them more than glad to pay his fee. He also made sure the cars were delivered clean and installed. Before he knew what was happening he had to turn clients away. There were just not enough hours to help everyone. He had to limit his business to 30 cars per month.But at 200.00 a pop he was making a killing and still had plenty of time to spend with his family. Now they moved from their house because they wanted to not because they had to. Joe and his family moved to a home 3x larger and bought a brand new car for both he and his wife. This is a business anyone can start. You can use newspaper ads or flyer's or just business cards. Depending on how fast you want to grow. You will need to have a large metropolitan area nearby, as it will be hard to do this in a very small town. But this can be adapted to finding homes, apartments vehicles or anything else. Use your imagination. You really do have the answers inside of you. Just ask and then listen.......But most of all -just do it!
2. Trucking to a fortune:
There is a guy my sister -in law, and I went to, to buy my brother a truck for his birthday. You know the custom made miniature trucks that men love. She actually paid 1000.00 for this truck! I could not believe it. The truck had working lights, sound and lift that actually lifted! The guy, Mike told us that this is one of his least expensive trucks! He says they sell from 800-4000! I was shocked. He showed us how he goes onto websites and takes pictures of the truck being built and how people email him with the order confirmation before the trucks are even finished. He makes over 10.000 per month doing a hobby that he absolutely loves. He says he would never work for anyone ever again and that he now has money and free time. He said very few people know about the money in this business. He has a store on eBay and he buys the trucks whole and sells them for parts because the parts are extremely hard to find. He says he started making hand made trucks because he wanted ones that were different. He also wanted to show people who bought his truck parts what they could do with the parts. The guys went crazy over his hand made trucks and they are constantly on back order. His parts business also exploded! He is now turning jobs down because he does not need more money. Isn't that a wonderful thought "to just not need any more money!" This can be you as well. Find a hobby you love. Don't bother trying to do trucks if you hate trucks -your apathy will come through, and prevent you from being successful. Pick something you love and then find communities on the Internet who share your interest. Take pictures and set up a selling email or use pay pal. People love pay pal because they feel safe knowing you do not have their personal info...This man makes 10 k per month but he could easily double that if he wanted to. He was relaxed and happy. Too many people are stressed and tired from trying to make it on a dead end job. Think outside the box, and see what you come up with....You can also write me for help remember.....
3. Letter riches;
This idea is so cute I had to include it. A few years ago, a friend of mine was the mommy of a precious little 4 year old, named Samantha. We called her Sam for short, but anyway. One day Sam wrote a letter to Santa and carefully signed it and sent it to the 'Norf poel' (as she spelled it) We thought it was cute and that she would forget about it, but everyday she ran up to the house and asked "mommy, did Santa send me mail?' I could tell my friend felt worse and worse having to tell her child the letter did not come. Finally, I went to the dollar store, bought some child's stationary and sat my friend down so we could compose a letter for Sam. Lisa, my friend was very reluctant to do this as she did not want to lie to her child. I convinced her that it was harmless and would make Sam very happy so we composed a letter and sent it to "Sam-Santa's special little friend" Sam was ecstatic when she got the letter, she read it until it was falling apart and showed it to all of her little friends. Soon Lisa was swamped with parental requests for more letters. In no time at all Lisa had a nice little sideline business writing and mailing letters all over the US. She advertises in magazines like home business, and direct mail. She charges up to 8.00 depending on how far and how much detail the letter requires. She still thanks me for starting her on this path. She loves it and makes pretty good money (about 1500.00 per week. Not bad for about 20 hours of work per month. Like I said, there are million dollar ideas floating around all the time. Lisa thinks I was the brainchild behind her idea but that thought must have occurred to her before I ever said anything! We ALL have million dollar ideas every day the point is to write them down and bring them to fruition.... PS, if you need help or advice write me at asktaylor1991@ yahoo.com (this is for my readers only!) Thanks for tuning in -until next time-S
posted by Taylor-Sara @ 1:50 PM
72 Comments
72 Comments:
First commenter, Yes.
I think some of the men may be holding back a little on their opinions because they may be afraid of offending some. As Sara said, please give us your two cents worth which in this economy maybe worth twenty-five cents.
Ann F.
I love your wealth tips.
Absolutely great ideas. Yes, the difference between people is the ones who act on an idea and the ones who just think about it.
Ann F.
It is a more complicated process for WM seeking BW to find someone they like in my opinion. I would call it a two step process because you must first figure out if they are open to IR and second if they are interested in you. You could always jump right in if you are really courageous, but be prepared for a let down. I haven't gotten to that point yet, I've been relatively lucky with my relationships. Either I have known them for a while and knew more or less where they stood on the subject or we've known each other for a while and they have approached me about it. The second approach is easier because it takes all the guessing out of it, but it is rare. But with anything in life the greater the risk the higher the reward, you just need to have thick enough skin for the times you get burnt.
It's even more tough if you only have a certain amount of time with someone you are interested in such as college. I go to a very big university and if you don't speak up by the end of the term you will probably never see that person again. And it doesn't help when all the parties you go to with your friends are filled with crazy drunk white girls, lol.
That's how I look at it. I am sure there are different approaches and I am interested in hearing more about them if they can help me succeed.
Adam probably the best advice I can give you on the subject of BW is to just be yourself (sorry it sounds repititious) but be yourself and be her friend. She is feeling you out as well, she is unsure whether you are into 'all' women or only ww. Be her friend and be there for her. Let her know she can count on you no matter what, Then let her know you are interested. And most important once you are in the relationship with your dream girl, NEVER get so angry, you threaten the relationship! When you disagree (and you will) find ways to work it out but never let the words -it's over, we're through etc. come out of your mouth! She has to go through alot of BS with the BC to be with you and if you let those words come from your lips, she will lose all faith in the relationship and it will probably die regardless of how
much you apologize after that remark. She's got to know it's not just a quick fling-it's got to be special because like I said, she has to go through alot with the BC to be with you. The stakes are alot higher....good luck, and you can always email me if you need to...
Hey, Adam you are back good. I am going to assume you are 20 something. I have talked to a few 20 something females(I work at a historically black university)and my question to some of the females is: If you cannot get the bm you desire then what would you do? Most of them just hunch their shoulders as if to say they do not no and then there are the few females who are enlighten and they think about it for a second and they say, "I would date another race guy."...good for them. To the first group of females I would suggest that they date another race guy and some will say they haven't thought much about other race guys...then some will say other race guys the idea does sound good...it's a beginning. I still say the high school kids and 20 somethings are more open to dating ir. I too would suggest being friendly, smile at that special female you have your eyes on and make a silly joke that can break the ice. That female maybe a little nervous with the attention she may be receiving from you. Talk about the instructor...that is a good opening. I was at Wal-Mart last month and I saw this wm who was eyeing this bw who was ahead of me in line. He got his purchase and stop by that bw and said to her and for all of us who was near by- "You have the most beautiful smile" and he just walked out the store. She was with a family member or friend and I and the cashier all bw were rather surprise because in New Orleans we do not hear wm saying such nice compliments out loud...good for him.
Ann F.
Wait a minute Anon. first of all hon. I was not even talking to you! Is your name Adam? Second. All black girls are not anything duh! -but most ARE part of the BC and have been indoctrinated to only want, love, yearn for BM! Chances are the female he falls for is going to feel alot of internal struggle because of this, so a good rule of thumb is to assume that this advice will apply to her! Perhaps you should put that abundance of enthusiasm to better use!
Adam - Sara is dead on - The most important thing any woman wants from a man she sees a potential partner is respect and friendship i.e. be there for her, be friendly treat her with dignity and respect and let her know that you have her back. Now this is not going to result in you being "just friends" - it is however going to make you stand out in her mind - especially if you let her know you are interested. How do you do this without risking being shot down?
Do little things for her - old school manners is a good way to start. Smile when you see her and try to leave her smiling. When a person really likes another person their eyes light up when the see that person - so be sure and smile. That way the last memory she will have of you is positive. As Jerry said to George leave on a high note. You sound like a well mannered person to start but focus special attention on the woman you are interested in without being a stalker will go along way.
Even though you and she both know she is capable and competent doing little things for her that make her life easier and brighten her day - little treats go along way to make her feel special, in world where rude seems to be the norm. For example - Hold her door, help her on with her coat, offer to carry a heavy package - see if you can find a way to make her smile. Women do notice when men are trying to make them laugh and it is appreciated.
Good luck Adam!
V/r
Clarice
Alright, Clarice lol short and to the point.
Did anyone hear what Steve Harvey said today(4/14th) in his reply to the Strawberry Letter? At first one might laugh then Steve continued making jokes about how that wm might kill her and her child.
While driving to work it occurred to me that alot of bw might take Steve's comments/jokes seriously and I think that would be sad for both the bw and the other race man.
Lately, I do not recall(I could be wrong) Steve making jokes about bm who marry other race women and I know Steve knows alot of accomplished bm.
Ann F.
Well I know I have heard him on many occasions try to keep bw from looking/dating/wanting wm thats for sure! I Have heard him make comments disquised as jokes about how bw should ONLY want bm. I love steve but I don't agree (obviously) with him at all about this. We have the same right to love and marry out as bm do!!!
Yes, I like Steve also. But, Steve did sound as if he was really unset at this female. Also, I do not care for his attitude towards bw and their weight issues. I do not hear Steve making fun of Tommy's plus size preference as much as Steve used to do and that is probably because Tommy maybe dating one of the ladies from the show who happens to be a smaller size. Tommy like Steve has a right to his preferences in females and should not be shamed into changing his female preferences.
Ann F.
First, let me thank everyone for their insightful comments so far. Definitely good advice all around, I appreciate it!
Second to anon, I don't think anyone who offered advice has suggested any special approach to BW that wouldn't appeal to any women. I do know there are BW that don't fit the usual BC mold, I've dated some of them I know about them, but the majority of BW aren't like this. You might have thought what I was asking might be considered a special approach to BW, but it was more along the lines of advice to figure out if someone is interested in IR. I am not trying to directly ask if they are interested in IR and then try to enforce my beliefs if they aren't. Rather, I just want to find out where they stand and take it from there. I'm sorry if I am confusing, it sounds right in my head at least lol, but it might not sound right when it comes out.
Loved the article Sara. Its quite refreshing to get comments from men from time to time :P
I am really not all that crazy about the Steve Harvey morning show. I find them to be very crass and actually rather disrespectful to black women at times.
"...she has to go through alot with the BC to be with you. The stakes are alot higher....good luck, and you can always email me if you need to..."
______________________________
Sara,
How true. I was on my way to work when I saw my boss who is a wm. We got on the elevator together and inside were three other people (one was a bm). We were greeted each other and started making small talk. You should have seen the dirty looks we received from the bm. It was only my boss and he was talking mostly about the weekend he had with his wife and kids. Unreal.
Adam said... I do know there are BW that don't fit the usual BC mold, I've dated some of them I know about them, but the majority of BW aren't like this.
Excellent point Adam and a nice, polite, civilized, reasoned response. Even though the readers here are of the mindset that is situation normal to them - it is not common to the BC. The fact is even though technically there is no formal "BC" in the sense of a cohesive, supportive entity composed of men and women of a common color and ancestry - not sure there ever was such a mythological entity -save for immediately post slavery when all persons of color were seen as being the same i.e. non-white despite ethnic and cultural differences and as such were seen as the "BC".
The vast majority of women who frequent this blog and similar ones and who are either dating IR or exploring the options are not the standard. It is hard to remember that because for those who are accustomed to acting in their own interests it is like second nature.
Evia and Halima and others have said that for them what they are doing does not seem all that unusual - it is just living their life! Being healthy being happy and honoring, living and respecting their truth. Yes they face resistance - it comes with this thing called life. So when that which is out of the ordinary is the norm for you it's hard to remember that not everyone thinks that way. You are wise in taking that into account and asking. There really is no way to know by looking if a woman is open to IR. The strategy of finding an approach that increases your chance of if not success then at least not offending someone is smart. A smart, sensitive, considerate male is a good thing to find - much success to you!
V/r
Clarice
Another factor, I believe is that they have ALWAYS been attracted to us. Honey, long before bm were even able to look at ww, there were millions of mixed babies being born -where do you think they came from? And I am sure you all have noticed from my side bar that the dark skin many brothas disparage seems to be in very high demand with the white boys! They seem to love the dark brown skin, the full lips, fuller rear and sensuous style of the BW more and more.
hmm, but why do you think that is exactly? there is a long, documented history that since white and blacks first made 'contact' (and i say that for lack of a better word) wm and bw have been together. yes, in fact the first wave of bi-racial babies came from wm/bw couples. again though, why do you think that is?
adam, you can tell if a bw is into wm if:
a) when you see her, she's hanging around white people
b) she's canadian
c) she's articulate and poised and speaks proper english and does not seem to fit any "ghetto" or bw stereotypes.
hope this helps.
"there is a long, documented history that since white and blacks first made 'contact' (and i say that for lack of a better word) wm and bw have been together. yes, in fact the first wave of bi-racial babies came from wm/bw couples. again though, why do you think that is?"
Because men are still more animalistic than they are socialized. It doesn't matter what society says. They will follow their d**ks and where it tells them to go. There are obvious good and bad points to this.
Adam may I introduce you to Ms. Nigiera..."adam, you can tell if a bw is into wm if:
a) when you see her, she's hanging around white people
b) she's canadian
c) she's articulate and poised and speaks proper english and does not seem to fit any "ghetto" or bw stereotypes."
The person who wrote the preceeding was probably a Nigierian. Also, how ignorant to think that the only bw who are into wm are from somewhere else other than the U.S.
I personally know of bw who do not follow the "ghetto" sterotype and their english is probably better than your english. And, what about the ww who fits the so called "ghetto" sterotype? What are they called? Wiggers.
Ann F.
Anonymous said...
adam, you can tell if a bw is into wm if:
a) when you see her, she's hanging around white people
b) she's canadian
c) she's articulate and poised and speaks proper english and does not seem to fit any "ghetto" or bw stereotypes.
hope this helps.
................................
Delish says:
??????
Chica, are you serious?
and then I say...............................
Hey Adam
Although I really AM NOT in the business of giving out advice to the "lovelorn"..I would suggest a BROADER standard than what is suggested here.
I would say approach a bw the SAME way you would any woman you are attracted to. You HAVE to take the chance you will be rejected. I had a wm come up to me in an upscale market who was very nervous while basically telling me he "loved me"..unfortunately the feeling was NOT mutual, but it certainly was not because he was white.(It was because I found him gross..lol) Btw..I was very sweet to him, becuase I don't want him to not take that chance again. Also he was so respectful in the way he approached me. Poor Thing..lol.
2- WE don't all hang out with white people all the time..this is just ludicrous..(sorry anon)..Sometimes I am with my bw friends, and I can assure you 4 out of 5 are very interested, and would LOVE to be approached properly...so don't be afraid to saunter over...you'll know if you can stay fairly quickly...so take a chance even when you see a group of bw.
Not Canandian (from Planet X)..but I think Canada is lovely, and so are the people.
One last thing.
I fricking hate the word articulate when applied to bp...it is so darn patronizing. If I am well spoken (and I assure you I am)..it is because my parents would kick my ar-- if I dared to do otherwise. I also take great pride in the way I personally represent myself to the world. Poised..hmm.. I could always use more of that..as for the "ghetto"...well I don't know WHY bp would use that word to refer to their neighborhood..but some people from the "ghetto" would do very well if given half a chance..we don't all have to come from middle class, or upper middle class to want for our lives to be the best...but it is becoming increasingly harder for young bw to truly emerge from these kind of neighborhoods..It is not however impossible.
I bet there are a lot of women in the "ghetto" who are not articulate, who are not poised and who would love to date and marry men who are not dbrbm's.
That's what I think.
To Anon, what the hell is that supposed to mean? that she won't be ghetto and will be articulate...etc. Let me tell you something, I know alot of ww who are ghetto! and can't spell articulate! You better take your racist comments elsewhere!
"To Anon, what the hell is that supposed to mean? that she won't be ghetto and will be articulate...etc. Let me tell you something, I know alot of ww who are ghetto! and can't spell articulate! You better take your racist comments elsewhere!"
I'm not saying there are no ww who are not ghetto. We all know there are. I'm saying the bw who are ghetto, will not be interested in wm. I don't care about being politically correct. I prefer to just be honest.
"And, what about the ww who fits the so called "ghetto" sterotype? What are they called? Wiggers."
Yep. I'm not talking about them though. He asked a question, I gave him a straightforward answer. BW who are quote-unquote "ghetto" usually are not open to dating WM. I see no reason for anyone to take offense to this, unless you yourself identify as ghetto or most of your friends are.
Well said Sara..
I was thinking "what the..."
And I was really trying to choose my words carefully, to be as "respectful" as I could
I bet this is not a bw.
sigh
There is a lot of reason to take offense to this, any jack ass can see that you are associating ghetto with black women! and the two certainly are NOT SYNONYMOUS! I'm as far as a person can get from ghetto and I am still offended!
I SO HATE THAT WORD GHETTO.
Correction Ms. Canadian your statement is not true. I have known someone you might categorize as "ghetto" and the wm do like her and maybe that is why they like her.
Ann F.
All people especially people of African decent should reject negative terminology such as "ghetto".
Jewish people do not claim such negative terms and this is a race of people who have pulled themselves up since those tragic years.
We all should do the best that we can to THINK POSITIVE AND BE POSITIVE.
Ann F.
The term 'Ghetto' was originally used to refer to the Venetian Ghetto in Venice, Italy and then in Jewish ghettos in Europe, where Jews were required to live. The corresponding German term was Judengasse known as the Jewish Quarter. In Moroccan Arabic, ghettos were called mellah. The term came into widespread use for Ghettos in occupied Europe 1939-1944 with severely constrained conditions, where the Nazis required Jews to live prior to transporting them to concentration and death camps.
from Wiki
---------------------------------
Anon:
There are some words which I consider to be so vile that I NEVER use them. This is one of them. Another one starts with N.
I wish people would actually take the time to look up a word before they began to widely apply it to aspects of their life (or someone else's)
Did you catch the last part of the wiki paragraph...A GHETTO was where the Jews had to live before they were "exterminated" by the Nazis.It was a place to go to before DEATH. How this dreadful word came into being as a place that many bp lovingly refer to is beyond my level of comprehension. Assuredly Jews must wonder WHY on earth so many bp cling to that word, when it has so many negative connotations...your description being one of the newer ones.
I would caution you to try to remove this word from your vocabulary. It is a most destructive word/ description.
I'm looking into my crystal ball right now, and I don't see a black woman speaking here, and for you to think that you can use this word here, amongst this group of (mostly)women...well that tells me too much unfortunately.
But that's just me.
I just want to agree with Sara. Ghetto does not equal BW. I worked with three of the most Ghetto WW I have ever met. They started fights in the office, stoled office supplies and food, screwed most of the sales team, got drunk at each business functions. That went on for three years. Before senior management figured out a way to get rid off them. So ghetto knows NO color, or education for that matter because one of those women had her MBA...Don't tell me about ghetto, those WW (blonde, blue eyed)..they were ghetto...
Yes, delishmish I agree we need to extricate certain words from our vocabulary. I looked up the word in question a few years ago and was very surprised by its origins.
I so agree with all of you who say we must learn to think outside of the box or the "norm". Sometimes the "norm" is not exactly correct. This summer be bold and do something that is different and fun!
Ann F.
I am not siding with blond hair blue eyed men; however, anonymous you are simply determined to be negative. I have made my points and I am through with your nonsense.
Ladies have a good night.
Ann F.
Why are you trying to deflect the question Anon? we are not talking about wm right now. We are saying that there is no correllation between bw and the word ghetto. It is merely a false construct invented by people who hold racist ideologies (sometimes latent) that really have no true link to us whatsoever...
Ann F...
I am AMAZED we were thinking the same thing at the same time...
It's scientific ...like matter attracts like matter..I am sure you realize I did not read your post before I wrote my post..so our comments were posted by Sara at the same time...
WOW
I doubt that most people are aware of the true origins of this word...and for you to also have been thinking what I was, in terms of Jewish people having been able to "rid" themselves of this mantle of "ghetto" because it was so painful a word... It is now time for the bp who regularly use this word to stop....btw..the more bp use this term, the more comfortable wp feel to use this term to describe you... as in Becky thinking she is being friendly, saying something crazy like "Girl, you know you are ghetto."...and then you have to go ballistic on her a--.
No good can come from using this word.. (sorry, I watched Star Wars last night..lol)
Anyway, it's not ONLY that word that bothered me in Anon's original statement...
sheesh
Back to us:
yes Ann, lets have some fun starting now...be gay.. (joyful) all day, chase flies, make fruity pies, play with your cat, how about that?
Hey, its HARD to write poetry..Let me see one of you do better..lol
One more thing Ann F..
Just to show you the scientific principle of similar thought at work here..I did not copy and paste from your Post (did not see your post obviously)..I copied and pasted directly from Wiki..we definitely were thinking alike..man alive (lol) Remember that expression?
You gave a more detailed explanation..so thanks..I LOVE to learn.
*looks around in confrusion*
Why are ya'll feeding the troll? I mean seriously: WTH?
Ladies, arguing with this person is a waste of time and energy, as it seems to me that this person is just here to stir up trouble, and is probably too much of a punk a** to do it under their real Blogger name (side eyes some BWSNBN). Best advice: press your "nignore" button and keep the conversation rolling. By feeding the troll, you make it want to stick around.
*clicks blue and purple bedazzlered nignore button with ribbons and streamers*
Adam, you have been given wonderful advice by some of the ladies. Just ignore the troll.
Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If ossible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the Aparelho de DVD, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://aparelho-dvd.blogspot.com. A hug.
"I am not siding with blond hair blue eyed men; however, anonymous you are simply determined to be negative. I have made my points and I am through with your nonsense.
Ladies have a good night.
Ann F."
This anonymous is not me. I was in no way equating being black with being ghetto. I have yet to meet a ghetto black woman though who is interested in dating white men. So the advice still holds as useful for Adam's reference.
And yes, there are WW who are ghetto, once again, we ALL know this, but they are not relevant to the advice I was giving Adam because he is not approaching WW.
Whatever, if there is anything I've learned about human nature, it's that people will take things as they want to take them. This is why I can't be bothered to politically correct any longer. For example, if someone calls me eloquent and articulate, I take it to mean just that - that they were impressed with me kickass verbal repertoire. If you want to take it as a backhanded compliment against black people, that's your prerogative. But I personally choose not to live my life like racism is lingering around every corner. If you're different, so be it. Live and let live. But don't take offense to what was said, because there no offense intended.
Good comments ladies.
Ann F.
"Ladies, arguing with this person is a waste of time and energy, as it seems to me that this person is just here to stir up trouble..."
You can't be presumptuous about anons. There are at least 5 of us here.
I wouldn’t use the term ghetto, but I always retort to any use of the word ghetto, by applying it solely to the person using it. Although, I do not agree with anons point of "ghetto" bw not wanting wm, I do agree with their last assertion, to not live your life like racism is around every corner. I think there is always going to be generalizing done (unfortunately), because it is easy, and it is a huge part of human social interaction. I also think their last assertion ties into the positive viewpoint that the other ladies would like to see bp partake in. We all know that racism is a sign of stupidity, laziness, or an inferiority complex (which probably stems from one of the formers), and I think it is becoming more appropriate to address it only if it is negative, while embracing those (very few) things that are positive (buxom/bootylicious feminine bodies, good skin, resilience, etc.). This ties into one of Sara’s last posts, and could alleviate some stress for bw in mixed groups.
I have to agree, that I am tired of fighting “racism”, and find it more highly effective (among the mass of educated drones with delusions of grandeur) to accept compliments, demand respect, and laugh at ignorance.
@Adam – I think you have gotten good advice that applies to all women. I’ll add: Observe her behavior, to gauge how she conducts herself. Take a deep breath, to remove any lingering fears before you approach her. And approach her like you would any other woman. You will get an honest, and possibly welcome response. That’s assuming your normal pick-up line, isn’t “yo baby, yo baby!!”, or “can I get som’a dat”, or something to that effect…LOL!! Funny thing though, I personally love cheesy pick-up lines. If it makes me laugh, then you might win my attention. =)
as a nigerian i have to ask Ann F what the hell Nigeria had to do with anonymous' comment??? how can u start attacking nigeria becoz of wat someone called anonymous (who sounds canadian by the way) said?
please explain i'm confused.
naijagirl
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
You can't be presumptuous about anons. There are at least 5 of us here.
Unless you were the person who made the offensive remark, then I would think that you'd know that the comments I made were not directed at you. Since you took it personally, I say check yourself.
Nignore button!!! I love that one!!!
Ok umm Sara the trolls are coming out in full force please steer the convo back on course.
Also may I offer a suggestion, if you reply as anon please give yourself a name or number at the end like Ann F. does.
-Osk
Nignore? Huh, I didn't catch that at first. Thought it was a typo. Now I get it...LOL!! =)
Yes, there are way too many Anons and it is very confusing! please use some kind of name and lets keep the convo on course.....
Aparelho de DVD
-------------------------
Oh SNAP...
Brazilian spam..Please no, I can't take the SPAM.
naijagirl...the individual knows who I am speaking to.
Ann F.
Why is it that us black women can't get along? Look how aggressive the tone is throughout many of the posts. It's sad to me!We are so unsupportive of one another and at times it seems almost like we are deliberately trying to misunderstand each other so we can jump down each other's throats!
"...we are deliberately trying to misunderstand each other so we can jump down each other's throats!"
_________________________
Anon,
You're so right. I went to C1's blog to discuss the misconceptions and assumptions often made about bw who chose to date ir, when we express our feelings about the bad experiences we have had with bm(BTW, I just found out that you're a BIGOT for doing this.) or as they like to call it "bm bashing"
Well anyway, C1 and I had a short discourse in which I was playing devil advocate(wasn't really being serious, I like C1) in reference to why he chooses to date ir. In the last comment, I apologized to him for misquoting him the other day and that I didn't really think he was a ww reject.
I thought that was the end of it between the two of us. But of course, it wasn't because they had to keep it going. They twisted my comments and took everything out of context. I don't remember saying anything racist.
On their blogs, I have heard the term "White Supremacy " used on many occasions and I don't see them having a problem with that.
It has really gotten tired, ridiculous and pointless.
hbw
"Why is it that us black women can't get along? Look how aggressive the tone is throughout many of the posts. It's sad to me!We are so unsupportive of one another and at times it seems almost like we are deliberately trying to misunderstand each other so we can jump down each other's throats!"
Anon, it's because there are people (men and women) who are DELIBERATELY trying to create strife among us. They see a group of black women who are going against the grain, trying to better themselves and expand their options, and frankly, it robs them the wrong way. I have seen it over and over on IR blogs geared toward bw.
Many of them have so much free time on their hands, they come in to read what is said, then retreat to their supposed more enlightened blogs to rail against these IR blogs. After a while, it gets pretty obvious.
I think there has always been wm attracted to bw. I don't think they're more attracted to us now than before; it's just that IR has become more socially acceptable.
you are prob. right about the attraction thing stardusky, also what I do not get is if they hate what they read here, why come back? They come back again and again then go back and bitch uncontrollably!
Sara, did something happen with you and C-1? I've noticed you remove his blog from your links at the bottom of the page.
Hey, have any of you seen this new program- Under One Roof, starring Flava Flav...talk about sterotypes The media has sunk to and even lower standard.
A. F.
Nothing happened Anon, except he removed mine for whatever reason....
Anon said...
" yes, in fact the first wave of bi-racial babies came from wm/bw couples. again though, why do you think that is?"
In my personal and professional opinion, within our respected communities WM & BW ARE THE POWERFUL therefore, in relations to each other: WE'RE ARE TRUE EQUALS
I remember saying this at this very site...
Question: Why is that even back in the day, WM-Master would maintain appearances of the big houses, big plantations and beautiful wife, but once the sun down.
Wife is upstairs in her bedroom alone and master's downstairs tussling with us-the BW?
Who could deny that WM/BW are the persons that maintain out respective communities and cultures? This is the REAL reason that IR relationship is so dangerous because can you just image...
As WM remain atop of the western economic food chain, and BW continue to get better and better. What will happen when these two encounter each other as equals--as lovers? WHO IS NOW GOING TO BE LEFT BEHIND?
To be respected AND loved for you are, as you are...CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE SUCH BLISS!
BACK TO THE SUBJECT....
Adam... or any interested WM for that matter.
How you know a BW is open to interracial relationships
1.) She actually smiles at you: the smile always is the dead give away. LIKE WIHT ANY WOMAN, if you smile and she smiles back--BOY WALK ON OVER!
2.) Bring it up in a conversation: sometimes it's hard to indicate if a WM is open dating BW. I knew my guy was actually open when he mentioned a past relationship with another BW. BUT, of course don't do it in obvious way.
I always laugh at the I LOVE BLACK WOMAN saying WM, because THAT"S VERY NICE FOR YOU.
3.) Body Language: Do you display that you actually someone correctly...and everyone has their own style...but DON"T PLAY IT TOOO COOL.
4.) PAY ME A SPECIFIC COMPLIMENT: I love the man capable of paying me a compliment about something he's observed about me. (I'm 5"8, with hips, lips and t..., Walk around with my head held high, and wear 4 inches as often as possible. You're going to notice me) But I went the guy who said to me, YOU'RE SO SMART.
5.) If you catch her checking you out, again, BOY WALK ON OVER, lol.
6.) IF she pays you a compliment.
7.) If she hangs out in areas where she is in the minority and is still comfortable and charming. WHAT I MEAN IS...like when I go to the place where cute, quality WM hang out, I'M INTERESTED, lol.
That's all I can think of now, but I'll put up more when they come to me. But let me end with what I think BW are looking for in IR...
I agree with Sara, DON'T THREATEN, BW value respect, loyalty and honest. Lie, cheat, compromise yourself integrity wise- YOU'RE DONE. She never see you with her love-rose colored glasses again.
BW want the man WHO IS A MAN, and by now YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! Woman are enabled the superpower (lol) to see the man inside...loving him for who is and who he wants to be, ring a bell...specifically to BW is this...
WHEN THE BW LOVES YOU....THAT'S YOUR WOMAN!
THIS is what the bm has forgotten about us, we are literally worth our weight in gold, "a wife material that is a man's real treasure, worth more then rubies." Because the BW who loves you will do what ever it take, how ever life dishes it, where ever you end up-- when the dust settles SHE WILL BE THERE FOR YOU!
DON'T FORGET OR JEOPARDIZE THIS IS THE CATCH!
Be BRAVE gentleman, and see how the doors open for you. And that's all that I can say.
“WHEN THE BW LOVES YOU....THAT'S YOUR WOMAN!”
Ya know Georgia, I have to agree with you 100% about this. I can only speak for myself, but I can definitely say that I have been there 150% for the two men I was deeply in love with. In my last relationship, I encouraged, started, brought clients, and managed what could have turned into a huge business for my ex. I did it without question, because the ideas came to me, and I wanted to see him happy (he was depressed, not being able to find a job in his field), I wanted him to find work in his field, and I wanted us to do well as a couple. I never pushed it on him, and only moved forward when he started discussing this with me and seemed interested.
I mean, I am usually not one to pat myself on the back, but…*pats self on the back*.
"Nothing happened Anon, except he removed mine for whatever reason...."
cough:Kool Aid:cough
OT kinda kinda not
http://www.blackvoices.com/blogs/2008/04/17/attitudes-that-can-doom-an-interracial-relationship?icid=100214839x1200141637x1200004749
Attitudes that Can Doom an Interracial Relationship
Posted Apr 17th 2008 8:27AM by Angela Bronner
Filed under: Lifestyle, Love
The recent movie 'Run Fatboy Run' may be remarkable for the issue it doesn't focus on. Thandie Newton plays a pregnant bride who's jilted at the altar by Simon Pegg and later falls for Hank Azaria. While she's black and her two suitors are white, the story hardly mentions race and focuses on Pegg's need to run a marathon and prove that he can finish something, thereby winning back Newton's heart......
Miss Pinky said:
cough:Kool Aid:cough
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Ah yes, Kool Aid. My favorite is raspberry.
:-)
I'm not saying any names, but when someone got chased off the blog, someone else may have took offense.
Ya'll know about the clicks out in cyber-space right?
Great article, Janice, thank you.
Anon said.....
I'm not saying any names, but when someone got chased off the blog, someone else may have took offense.
Ya'll know about the clicks out in cyber-space right?
Anon. I'm not using names either, but... how about I don't give a damn who took offense. I'm going to do whats best for my readers....
I'm not saying any names, but when someone got chased off the blog, someone else may have took offense.
Ya'll know about the clicks out in cyber-space right?
Thursday, April 17, 2008
---------------------------
C1 has no love for RoslynHolcomb, as she has been known to relentlessly derail discussions on his blog also. Yanomomo & the Chicken Fethists Club are pretty tight with RH though.
RH's expulsion from this blog's commentary is probably the reason Yanomomo has started up her bitching campaign again.
If all these hateful bloggers took all that energy and channeled it in a more positive direction. Whew! What a great change they would have in their lives.
They are insecure and unhappy. I have never seen a group of women so painfully hateful! It amazes me how they hatefully lash out at everyone else that's trying to improve their lives. Damn, stop the hating!
USE YOUR POWERS FOR GOOD PEOPLE!!!
Sorry, but white men need to show more "balls" about approaching bw. BM approach ww all the time and for crying out loud she may be in the kkk. My advice for ADAM: talk to a black woman when she is alone and start with a compliment and ask her what her name is and where she's from.
Jess you do not have to be sorry.
I concur...ANY MAN WHO IS INTERESTED IN ANY FEMALE SHOULD MAKE HIS FEELINGS KNOWN THAT PARTICULAR FEMALE. Enough of the female should approach a man first.
Sure, look his way and smile.
A. F.
Black women need to hear this on YOUTUBE!! I wish evia and sara would take their message there. Black men are attacking us viciously and no one is attacking them back. i would post on youtube,but I dont know how.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home