Friday, April 18, 2008

What if my child comes out white! + Wealth tips (scroll down)


Eartha kitt and her family:

R. Victoria Rowell and her daughter
















ANTM: Jael as a baby with her mother and alone:
A young lady wrote me concerned that her biracial child would come out 'white' as her sister's child had. She said she is a dark skinned woman and she was concerned that having a 'white child' would engender much hatred in the BC.
I explained to her that no matter what complexion her child was, she would love her and think she was gorgeous (I know this from experience) I told her that some scientists do believe that a child with a white father and black mother IS more likely to look 'white' Which might explain why there were so many 'white slaves', but that should be of little concern. The BC will probably have an attitude regardless, just enjoy your child and your marriage and forget the nonsense. The most important thing any child needs is parents that love and support them. Genetics is a very funny thing, and truly we don't know how biracial or even monoracial children will come out. My sister has a daughter who looks nothing like her, but bears a remarkable resemblance to me! I have seen this in many families. My cousin has 4 biracial children. 3 look completely 'mixed' but one looks completely white with blue eyes and reddish hair. When we went to Florida, I noticed people kept turning around to stare at him. I guess they were wondering what this little white boy was doing with all of us. Since my family is a rainbow like I have said before, we could care less. He is no better or worse than anyone else, and we simply love him the same. I heard my little cousin trying to talk to some girls one day (black girls) and one of them told him: "I don't mess with no white boys" to which he responded "I ain't white, I'm just light skinned!" I laughed all the way home, because he is white as snow! but it was so cute that he thought it was just 'light skin.' Anyway, my point is it should not matter, our children are precious in all their colors and that should not be a factor that we are worried about.......Look at the pictures, Can you have a white child with a white man? absolutely -God handles the details and you won't know until you get it. but if that is a serious concern for you sistas, perhaps in the arms of a sexy, handsome, blue eyed man is NOT where you DESERVE to be!
To all the sistas' who are worried about it: first of all chances are that it will not happen but my question is: if it does, so what! What exactly is the problem? Would it be so horrible to have a white baby? Because Garcelle certainly seems quite content with hers.....I would not care if my baby was white as snow or black as coal. I would just want it to be healthy. The child is a blessing either way, and like I said, no matter what the color, Once you have it, you Will love your baby like no tommorrow and you won't care one way or another.....
__________________________________________________________

Wealth Ideas for the entrepreneurs:

Build yourself a new house with doll houses!

When we lived in Hawaii years ago, (when I was a child) I remember going to kaleheo high school. We had a home economics class, with a teacher who considered herself to be very resourceful and wanted us to be as well. One day she gave us an assignment that we would have to create something that could be sold for a good profit. It had to be something we created, and we had create our own demand for it.
I remember going home and racking my brain trying to figure out what I could make. Unfortunately for me, I'm one of those people with so many talents it's extremely hard to pin myself down to one. (I'm not bragging, just being honest. ) I got those talents from my dad who was the same way. Anyway, while sitting on my bed trying to decide how best to show off and make the rest of the class look bad, my eyes fell on the dollhouse daddy had make for me for X-mas. It was a handmade 3 story house with interchangeable walls stairs, rails etc. It was a work of art, and my favorite 'toy'. I decided to see if I could make a prototype of mine which would be lighter and easier to carry to school. I took a large cardboard box and cut it open. I used hangers to support the 2nd floor. I used aluminum foil to make mirrors and basically let my imagination run wild. I took some old tile cracked it up and made a kitchen floor (to resemble marble) I cut doors and windows and made curtains and used long silver bobby pins as rods. I made furniture and used shelf liner as wall paper and even made a little fake playboy magazine for the coffee table. The next day I had my brother bring it in when the teacher asked for my project. I unwrapped it dramatically and was shocked at the reaction. I expected the girls to be interested but never the guys! The kids practically bombarded me trying to find out how to get a 'real one' (remember this one was made of cardboard) They flooded me with offers of money and begged me to make one for them. I easily won most valuable project and best of all I found a doll house maker (daddy did not want to make anymore) and gave him the orders.He was delighted to have the business! He made the houses and had a repeat and steady biz making the furniture and accessories. I got 25% just for passing on the orders and the cheapest one was 200.00! I was making hundred per month doing nothing! My point is God has given you talent too. We all have talent at something. Whatever you want in life you have everything inside of you, you need to get it! Visit a hobby store and see what peaks your interest. Go home and duplicate it, If you love to do it -there is somebody who will want to buy it from you. I look back at that experience in Hawaii and I realize I could have turned that into a million dollar business...and so can you. You could choose to just make the furniture or household accessories. The sky really is the limit. I know some of the furniture I made for my dollhouse bore a tiny label saying 'liberty house' Liberty house was a very exclusive store in Hawaii and everyone wanted to shop there. The kids went crazy over all the details. That's what makes a million dollar business, the details. If you create something people can get anywhere, it will have limited value. It is the details that make it different and more valuable than everyone else's......Remember this when it comes to hobbies and you are almost sure to make a million-
Everyone wants to brag and say... 'this is an exclusive", or "this is handmade" or They will fudge the truth a little and say "this was made just for me, and there's not another one like this" When you can give your customers the right to say those words, they will make you rich! And all it takes is making each one a little different and maybe attaching a label like 'one of a kind creations by________"
or miniature condos by exclusive creations' you get the idea.....


need an extra 500-1000 per month? ----Be a clipping service!

If you look in the phone book, you will find listing for clipping services. (or, clipping bureaus) What they do is clip news items from the paper for their clients and get paid a set fee. You can offer to be a reader for them. All you would do is read different papers and find items of interest and send to them. If you live near a large city, you will find several companies like this. If you are in a small area, there will not be many. If they will not hire you, simply become their competition. People do not realize it is much easier for the average person to become the competition of a large established company for one reason. It is that-big companies do not listen to their customers! They have gotten so big, they no longer think the individual person matters. They are looking at the whole pie and not a slice of it. The problem is, once you have this mindset, your business is likely to suffer a setback. You see the customer can sense this attitude. But back to the lesson, -To start your own clipping service, do this:

Advertise in papers, mags or use press release to get free publicity from the newspaper. You need to make your work stand out. How? laminate your clips of special events and send them to people. People will gladly pay a few dollars for a nice memento of a special occasion in their lives. Also you can call various companies and ask if they use clipping services. You can build your clientele up as high as you want. Many magazines and papers would fold without the help of clipping services. This is a business that would be good for the handi-capped or shut ins etc. People who need extra money but are unable for whatever reason to go outside and earn it (or just want to be in) This business will NOT make you rich, but you can earn some good part time income without much trouble....


Advertise your way to millions!

This is a business not for the feint of heart. The truth is almost anything can become a billboard and an advertising post. One enterprising young man made bus stops for his city completely free. The catch was he sold ad space on the bus stops and made a killing. All over the America, people are getting rich selling advertising. The young girl who invented 'yearbook.com' at 15! put her schools yearbook on the Internet completely free. other schools of course followed suit and begged her to do it for them. The service is completely free but the advertising this young lady sells, makes her millions of dollars per year! check out yearbook .com to see the set up of her company. This is something anyone could have thought of. Who would have thought yearbooks were not online in the year 2005! (when she started.) One enterprising young man bought a raggedy truck, cut it in half lengthwise (to get massive attention) and sold advertising on the remaining half. Businesses fought to get their company on the strange truck. He now makes over 150.000 per year (after taxes )just riding around in the strange truck! His business is called 'the quack'er Ads. Here is a million dollar idea you can start today if you are serious about changing your life.

if you are good with your hands or know someone who is: Go to your city counsel meeting and offer free bus benches. Tell them you will pay for them. Most will NOT turn you down. Then make them or have someone else make them. They must be sturdy and long lasting. Metal or concrete will last much longer than wood. Once the benches are made and delivered, you own them! That means you can sell ad space! You do not need to even contact anyone, simply place an ad for your ad agency on the bench. Or put a ad saying 'to advertise on this bench call _________. Companies will get the idea and call to ask how to get their ads on the bench. The beauty of this is you will sell all the space because when people are sitting with nothing to do, they WILL read the ads, and companies know this. Also, this business will make you money 24 hours per day 7 days per week! With you doing nothing else!!! Did you hear that -you won't have to work overtime or go in on weekends to make more money . Simply add more benches! You can easily expand into other towns and make millions! Most people walk past million dollar opportunities everyday because they are not trained to see them! I would call this business something catchy like rent-a-bench or Sara's bench biz! Something catchy like that. Like I always say million dollar ideas are floating in the air, you only have to pull one out and use it! Good luck guys and you can always write me for help or advice (my readers only please) at asktaylor1991@yahoo.com
Thanks for tuning in-see you next time-S

Beauty tip for the ladies:
Is your skin rough and callous? Try this, buy some brillo pad (pot scrubber) and during your shower, scrub your body gently all over. This is one of the secret that the mayflower madam revealed, that had all of of her high priced clientele asking her; where did she find women with such soft beautiful skin! Do this very gently as the brillo pad is very rough and hard. If you have sensitive skin, use it on your pots for a week or two on your pots, and then convert it to your skin buffer. It will alleviate the bumps, hard areas, and roughness and leave you will baby soft skin, your man won't be able to resist.... PS, never use the steel wool kind- (the material kind only!)

105 Comments:

At Friday, April 18, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, sara, love the post, the wealth tips and now beauty tips! _you rock girl!

 
At Friday, April 18, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I would not care if my baby was white as snow or black as coal"

I love your attitude.

Interesting , I always thought it was the "black as coal" that people would be concerned about.

When I see a little kid acting out, I ask, where is your momma? You can't assume anymore.

Brillo pad? hmmm.

 
At Friday, April 18, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi sara. love the blog! it's great. I just wanted to say that this happens more often than people know. at least 6 of the former Presidents had black blood in them! Also, in my own life, I have seen this, I am dark and my husband is very white (irish) 2 of our 4 children can pass for white. When my youngest asked me, "mommy if you are chocalat and daddy is banella what am I?" Before I could answer her, my other daughter piped up 'duh, stupid, you're vanilla fudge!" they are so cute and precious to me. I love my life and it's wonderful seeing beautiful blended families like mine here. You're great, and please keep doing what you do. We really appreciate all your hard work....

 
At Friday, April 18, 2008 , Blogger Zabeth said...

Excellent post Sara. I'm going to have to think about this one some more.

I'm sure every mother will love her child no matter what but, I can see where some women are coming from. I've thought about this "what if" scenario myself: Would my child feel alien or foreign to me? Would I be able to relate to him or her? Would people think I was his/her nanny?

Like you say, genetics are a funny thing and you never know what may pop out- it all comes down to chromosomes. Anyway, in a society (and community) that places so much focus on color I can see why some women have these concerns.

 
At Friday, April 18, 2008 , Blogger EmergingPhoenix said...

WOW! I am soo happy you brought this up. A commenter had posed this amongst all the arguing on another blog awhile back, and it made me ponder the issue. I have to admit, that I never thought about it before, because like you said, I knew any child I had, I would love. However, when I really considered it, I was initially worried that I would miss out on the opportunity to teach my child the wonderful things about them that are more afrocentric. After some thought (we’re talking a few hours not days…wasn’t really that serious in the end), I realized that if their hair was tightly curled or straight; or their skin was high or low in melanin count, they would still need the same guidance on acceptance and understanding of people of all hues. So ultimately, the ideals I would like to bestow on my kids will still be the same, but MAYBE the delivery or method might have to be tweaked.

I think the idea, that a black mother would teach their child that they are better, because they are half white is somewhat ridiculous, considering what that black mother’s personal experience may have been. I am not saying it doesn’t happen, but I will say, that I have never met a biracial person, with a black mother, who was suffering from identity crisis, or delusions of grandeur. And I have met quite a few biracial children with black mothers, who love to point out that their mother was black.

 
At Friday, April 18, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Sara, great blog. I loved Tammy's kid's response, that was adorable and commendable.

I understand the concerns of the writer, but I'm quite sure when she sees her baby all that will pass. My kid was "klan robe" white when he was born and I couldn't care less. He's healthy and loved, thats all that should matter.

Have a safe delivery and be blessed.

 
At Friday, April 18, 2008 , Blogger Taylor-Sara said...

Isn't that the truth! Even on top model, jael was bragging about her black mother. But in the reverse how often do you see a child who hates his blackness with a passion ie Tiger! Jennifer beals, are 2 examples With tiger his hatred for anything black is so palpable if he could cut the black out of himself I know he would! So many times I have seen black men teach their biracial children to hate black. How stupid! the child IS black! No wonder the poor kids are so mixed up. Botton line, I think for the most part, the child is in better shape 99% of the time if the mother is black instead of the father (just my opinion from life)...

 
At Friday, April 18, 2008 , Blogger Felicity said...

There is also a biracial woman who has three children by her white partner, 2 of the children look mixed and the little girl, looks blonde hair, blue eyes and she had golden skin. You can still see they are related.

 
At Friday, April 18, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

My 2 children don't look like me at all. They both look pretty light in the winter, and I don't give a fig what the BC think. Matter of fact, if I was worried about the BC's opinion, I wouldn't have married my husband.

Sara, that brillo pad tip has me scurred. I'll stick to my handglove. LOL!

 
At Friday, April 18, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Sara Do you have an example about what you said about Tiger? Not that I don't believe you I just am disappointed.

 
At Friday, April 18, 2008 , Blogger Taylor-Sara said...

yes Anon, I do. 1. The bp who went to college with Tiger have said numerous times (by numerous people) how he wanted nothing to do with black. They tried to get him to join a black frat. and he begged off many times saying he did not beleive in frats. Then turned around and joined an all white one that had never had a black member.(don't know how he managed that.) Then. 2. Several of his friends have made racial slurs and remarks which he laughed and brushed off (because in his mind they don't pertain to him) 3. He has repeatedly said. "I only have a little black, Im mostly asian, indian, etc etc. Anything he can throw into the pot to make it less black -he will do. who the hell ever heard of cablasion or whatever that crap is he made up to try to PRETEND he was not black! 4. He himself has been named by some of his white friends as the biggest racist they know because he makes black racial slurs! surprise surprise the little self-hating uncle tom hates everybody who reminds him of black. And finally, he and his ((BLACK ))dad were both known to say horrible things about black women...whoa! thats a stunner! *sitting down to fan herself*...

 
At Friday, April 18, 2008 , Blogger Taylor-Sara said...

guys, you know the pot scrubbers that come in different colors and are rough on the surface, I think they are called brillo pads (will check) but you only use it like once a week not every shower! and you have to do it gently. but it really does work.....

 
At Friday, April 18, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sara, my brother tried your car lot idea and he actually has had a flea market and sold 20 cars in one day! Well, he did not sell them. the owners did but he set it up on a weeks notice (with flyers) and actually made about 500.00! You're ideas actually work! Sorry, but I'm stupified! and excited. Are you going to do an idea book? That would be great-please keep the wealth ideas coming -kim longtime lurker...

 
At Friday, April 18, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Sara,

I really appreciated this topic. And I couldn't agree more. When my husband and I were expecting our first child, I used to worry about the "what if's", one of them being what if she came out looking nothing like me, but only like her father's side. I know that it was silly, because I love my husband and his being white has never been an issue for me, so if she looked white, it shouldn't have mattered. But still, I did worry, mostly because of being afraid that she wouldn't connect with me.

Well, when she was born, and I looked into her beautiful baby eyes, it was love at first sight. And the fact that she had grey eyes and pale skin like her dad was the furthest thing from my mind. And the first time I fed her, and she held on to my finger while looking up at me, I felt completely connected to her. As she grew, like any child, she was completely mommy-struck lol.

Fast forward 15 years later, I can tell anyone, even though she doesn't look as though she has a black mother (far less a dark skinned one like me), we are still very close. The same applies for her brother, who is now 12.

Both our children readily tell people that they have a black mother, and I have never experienced either of them acting 'oddly' when I attend PTA meetings with their dad.

I think in the end, as one poster said, the way you and your husband relate to your children will determine how well they relate to being bi-racial, even if they don't look it.

So for anyone who has those fears of being uncomfortable with a 'white looking baby', trust me, once you see your child, all those thoughts will melt away. And if you really wanted that baby, you will love him/her unconditionally; the color of his/her skin and/or eyes will not matter to you.

Please keep up the wonderful work Sara! You have no idea how wonderful it is to have someone outside of one's family who truly wants to encourage and support those of us who are in inter-racial relationshps. :)

Alana

 
At Friday, April 18, 2008 , Blogger Taylor-Sara said...

thanks so much Alana, and blessings to you and yours....

 
At Friday, April 18, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

If Tiger and his Dad really made such dispuraging remarks about bw and bp that is so horribly sad.

Tiger and some bm one day will realized that their children no matter how fair or light skin their children are at the end of the day they are still of African decent. Actually, I blame Tiger's dad more so than Tiger. His Dad placed him in predominatley non-black environments. Therefore, Tiger may feel he relates to white people better than his own race. I have never seen Tiger publicly with his half brothers and sister, who are black; but, he does seem to have a relationship with them and that is good. A. F.

 
At Friday, April 18, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sara, great tips as usual and crafty too.
A.F.

 
At Friday, April 18, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

just a sidebar...I believe R. Victoria Rowell adopted her daughter...lucky girl. Victoria appears to be a very loving mom, intelligent, caring,and sincere. I was rather surprised when Victoria was featured on Jet magazine and only Vic. and son was on the cover.
A.F.

 
At Friday, April 18, 2008 , Blogger Taylor-Sara said...

Anon, that's not what I heard. I heard it is her biological daughter and that she is saying the girl takes after her father....

 
At Friday, April 18, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is Victoria's real life daughter. Her name is maya and she is by Victoria's first husband Tom Fahey. Her son is by the 2nd. What you heard was that Victoria's mother abandoned her at the hospital as a baby and SHE is adopted. This is why she works tirelessly on the behalf of adopted and foster children. But her children were born to her....

 
At Friday, April 18, 2008 , Blogger Delishmish said...

The genes are a really funny thing, but of course, the most important thing is to have a healthy baby.
I once had a little girl run up to me and start chatting, in the lovely way children do. Well she left after a few minutes, and I told the women I was with (Becky) that the child had a black parent. They insisted that could not be (because of her stereotypical blond hair and blue eyes) I assured them she was a biracial child and further, I was willing to bet her mother was black because of her complete comfort with me....cut to the child and her black mother and white father walking by several minutes later....To me it was obvious.
The most we can do for any child is to first pick a QUALITY non dbr man to be the father and let the child know they are completely and unconditionally loved.

BTW...Eartha Kitt's daughter is the one with the longer hair, the other person is her grandaughter (ie Kitt's daughter)

Once again..LOVE LOVE the wealth building tips...Thanks Sara.

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent post. The most important thing is that your child is loved. Honor your truth and love respect and value your truth and those you love enough to live that. People regardless of race, creed, color, gender or circumstance are going to face criticism at some point in life - it's the nature of humans. Prepare your child for the road ahead by loving them and instilling in them a sense of worth, value and esteem and with your love and support they will be able to weather any storm. That is how some BW who though they may have been exposed to or living in the midst of the negative messages and general mess remain firm in the knowledge that they have value, worth and an unshakable - unwavering certainty and belief in that and fearlessly live that truth with quiet dignity. What they see and hear and feel at home from the people who love them and respect and care for them is more powerful than anything else - so school them that there are sad, damaged folks out there who may say something or act stupid - but that does not change their value or worth. If you value the child and show them by your actions that you value yourself .i.e live your truth faithfully this will equip them to deal with this. This includes not making value judgments or statements to that effect - what your kids see you live is what they learn. If you are comfortable with who you are and who they are they will be too! This is why it is so important to choose the father wisely.

V/r

Clarice

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think some people believe that if their children look a lot like them, they will connect with them more. Which is just ridiculous. I've been told on more than one occasion how much I look like my father and sisters, but that doesn't make me love them. Actually, I can't stand them because they act like @$$holes. Anyone in an interracial relationship (or any relationship) will tell you it has nothing to do with what the other person looks like (although I imagine it may help in the beginning of the relationship)its about the other persons character, personality, etc. If I were married to someone with blond hair and blue eyes and our child was born with blond hair and blue eyes, big deal. As long as my child were healthy, I could care less how much he looks like me. I would be very blessed to have him and he would be equally blessed to be brought into the world to two loving parents. Not to discount the feelings of the black women who have doubts or fears (I apologize if I'm not using the right word)about having a child come out "too white", but that shouldn't overshadow the joy of having your child. Just raise them with the values most important to you, give them lots of love, and let them grow.

By the way Sara, love your blog! Been a lurker for a while now, but decided to come out of hiding to share my 2 cents.

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Blogger Taylor-Sara said...

Clarice you are so right girl. excellent analysis as usual...

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Victoria said in many interviews, including her appearance on the Tyra show, that when her daughter was first born in the hospital, a white nurse did not believe that the baby girl was Victoria's daughter and refused to hand the baby over. SMH. She gave birth to this baby and she is refused to bond with her own flesh and blood. Victoria also recalls her daughter's friends coming over the house after school, and were shocked to learn Victoria was her biological mother. I wouldn't be surprised if they thought she was the housekeeper.

Best,
Jaz

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Blogger Taylor-Sara said...

jenny, I would hope that any white man who did not want black cyildren would have enough common sense NOT to get involved with a black woman!

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Victoria said in many interviews, including her appearance on the Tyra show, that when her daughter was first born in the hospital, a white nurse did not believe that the baby girl was Victoria's daughter and refused to hand the baby over.

Yes I read the same interview as well. *SMH*

As far as Tiger goes, what do you think he will do when the dominate genes take over and one of his children comes out with the complexion of Seal or Whoopi? Will he love them all the same? Although I commended Tiger for acknowledging his biological make-up, his over-all behavior after that Oprah interview speaks volumes...

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Blogger Taylor-Sara said...

Selena, tiger could not get away from his make up because once he became famous they were going to dig into it and find out what he was! His complexion gives him away anyway. I give him props for being a great athlete but no much else. I think it's disgusting how much he hates black. I find his attitude repulsive and I am scared to ask what he did after the oprah show.....

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Blogger PVW said...

Victoria Rowell's story is interesting. She is biracial (wm/bf) and was adopted. Her first child (white father, I believe) is the one pictured here. Her second child is a son by Wynton Marsalis--he looks just like his father.

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Blogger Gloria said...

I find his attitude repulsive and I am scared to ask what he did after the oprah show.....

More recently his response (or lack thereof) to the ww news reporter's comment stating that "Tiger should be lynched in a back alley".

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jenny I seriously doubt that any quality man who is worried in any way about having black babies is going to seriously date a BW. Granted he may wonder momentarily how he can best love, support shield and protect his child and the mother in the face of stupid people and resolve to that he will weather the storm and do his best to be there. He will worry because there are lots of crazy, ignorant, stuck on stupid people in the world - but that will not stop him from loving the mother or the child. Beyond that a quality man is not going to love, cherish or protect that child or his wife any less.

V/r

Clarice

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Selena, I know what you're saying but Tiger Woods children are not going to be Whoopi or Seal complextion.
Not as long as he has a white wife.

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
If Tiger and his Dad really made such dispuraging remarks about bw and bp that is so horribly sad.

Tiger and some bm one day will realized that their children no matter how fair or light skin their children are at the end of the day they are still of African decent. Actually, I blame Tiger's dad more so than Tiger. His Dad placed him in predominatley non-black environments. Therefore, Tiger may feel he relates to white people better than his own race. I have never seen Tiger publicly with his half brothers and sister, who are black; but, he does seem to have a relationship with them and that is good. A. F.

----------------------

I thought Tiger was an only child. If he has half-siblings who are black, I'm assuming they r from a previous relationship of his fathers. That is just sad. What the hell did his dad teach them then. Anyway, most of the blame for Tigers self-hate, I put on his father. Do u know that his father was actually AGAINST him marrying a black woman. He even dated Tyra Banks, but his father thought she wasn't good enough. He had a longterm girlfriend in Stanford uni that was black, yet his father publicly called this girl a golddigger, even though they were together B4 he became famous. Yet, him marrying a nanny who it has been rumoured was previously in porn was for some 'strange' reason ok, just 'cuz she was white? The only sane person in that family is his mother! But seriously, Tiger gas siblings? I never knew!

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

As far as Tiger goes, what do you think he will do when the dominate genes take over and one of his children comes out with the complexion of Seal or Whoopi? Will he love them all the same? Although I commended Tiger for acknowledging his biological make-up, his over-all behavior after that Oprah interview speaks volumes...
----------------------

Taylor-Sara said...
Selena, tiger could not get away from his make up because once he became famous they were going to dig into it and find out what he was! His complexion gives him away anyway. I give him props for being a great athlete but no much else. I think it's disgusting how much he hates black. I find his attitude repulsive and I am scared to ask what he did after the oprah show.....

---------------------

Please, please, please what happened after the Oprah show. I've heard about the all-famous interview, but what the hell happened after it? Pray tell.

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Blogger Mari-Djata said...

Personally, I would be worried if my child came out with blonde hair. I wouldn't care about the light skin of course, but the blonde hair or blue eyes would be strange. I only say this because those traits are VERY recessive. If the white man you're with doesn't have those traits openly, and you still have a baby with blonde hair and blue eyes, it is strange. I know that genetics like to play games, but even in white people, the blonde hair/blue eye trait is elusive and a blonde person who has a baby with a brunette person will most likely have a brunette baby. Of course you should still love your baby no matter what, but a black woman having a blonde blue eyed baby is an anomaly. It is almost impossible, in fact.

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, at least everyone knows where Tiger is coming from. It is those individuals who are still pretending love or at least like bp that bother me more than Tiger.
A. F.

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Blogger Taylor-Sara said...

mari, it is not impossible at all. you have just heard and seen several examples of it.....

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Blogger La♥audiobooks said...

Oddly, people always assumed that my daughter was biracial, or Hispanic. This bothered me for the first three years, and it made me self conscious in public. She does not favor my mediumish skin tone, or her father's very dark skin tone. She does favor my older sister who does look biracial, Hispanic or "Trinidadian Indian". Genes are so scary. Long ago without paternity test, I could see how some black women may have got in trouble falsely. One of my brothers once "jokingly" said... seeing this, he would be scared if I do have a child with a white male.

To be honest, I'm wondering if many black parents (including some black mothers) would actually get that alarmed if the child came out closer to white, but perhaps more disappointed if not. Just being honest.

Tiger not only hates blackness and black women, but he also dislikes Asianess next in line. Why couldn't he just settle for "blasian"?

It's evident when he so adamantly placed the "ca" in front of that absurd racial hokum he calls himself. He may have had a distant white great grand relative (like so many other blacks), yet he still feels that was so relative to include. That's a serious sign, he's sick and dangerous to the human race, especially black people. When they (white society) eventually turn against him, I am not marching any-damn-where with any damn t-shirt to save him. I can't stand his guts. Just like he can't stand mine.

This is one of the true reasons why I think so many of those white people so "admire" him. He's actually trying to flatter them with this bullsh*t. He's the ultimate self-hating assimilationist. Apples don't fall too far from the tree.. like the old man. Spit.

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've seen black women with children who had blonde looking hair. My black friend has chidren with a Hawaian guy and all her kids have black straight hair and a slight tan.

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Blogger Zabeth said...

Mari, I agree with Sara. It is not impossible AT ALL.

Two brunette parents can have a blonde haired, blue eyed child. It's not unheard of.

The man you're with may not openly have those traits, but he may still be a CARRIER of those traits. YOU may be a carrier as well- considering how much racial mixing has occured in the western world.

In the end it all comes down to your chromosomes- X and Y- and what genes are carried on those chromosomes.

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

La ~ msviswan said...
Oddly, people always assumed that my daughter was biracial, or Hispanic. This bothered me for the first three years, and it made me self conscious in public. She does not favor my mediumish skin tone, or her father's very dark skin tone. She does favor my older sister who does look biracial, Hispanic or "Trinidadian Indian". Genes are so scary. Long ago without paternity test, I could see how some black women may have got in trouble falsely. One of my brothers once "jokingly" said... seeing this, he would be scared if I do have a child with a white male.

To be honest, I'm wondering if many black parents (including some black mothers) would actually get that alarmed if the child came out closer to white, but perhaps more disappointed if not. Just being honest.

Tiger not only hates blackness and black women, but he also dislikes Asianess next in line. Why couldn't he just settle for "blasian"?

It's evident when he so adamantly placed the "ca" in front of that absurd racial hokum he calls himself. He may have had a distant white great grand relative (like so many other blacks), yet he still feels that was so relative to include. That's a serious sign, he's sick and dangerous to the human race, especially black people. When they (white society) eventually turn against him, I am not marching any-damn-where with any damn t-shirt to save him. I can't stand his guts. Just like he can't stand mine.

This is one of the true reasons why I think so many of those white people so "admire" him. He's actually trying to flatter them with this bullsh*t. He's the ultimate self-hating assimilationist. Apples don't fall too far from the tree.. like the old man. Spit.

-----------------------

So true. He despises being asian just as much as being black. The only difference is that his mother didn't drum into him the whole 'yellow-is-bad' thing the way his father did with 'black-is-bad'. And yes, that is why alot of whites like him. Afterall, even though EVERYONE knows that the dude doesn't 'consider' himself black, u'd still get white folks that hold him up as some example of 'good' blackness, even though the very reason they like him is because he eschews every and all his ethnicity, especially black, and clings to whiteness. It's no mistake that it was 'ca' that came first in his ridiculous made-up racial category.

White people KNOW that he hates himself. It is for that very reason that they (the racist ones) like him. It's got jack shit to do with his sporting abilities.

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I personally doubt I will have blonde children as my man has dark brown hair and brown eyes, but if she came out looking sort of Hispanic, that would be a wonderful thing merely because I think Hispanic women are beautiful. If she came out looking black, that would be delightful; black women (like myself) have a striking beauty that I love too! Bottom line, my kid is going to be GORGEOUS - no matter WHAT race she ends up as.

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

No one has told me yet about what happened after Tiger was on the Oprah show. Info please.

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Another beauty tip for smooth skin take a teaspoon or half teaspoon of baking soda and mix it with your face or body cleansing cream for a gentle but effective skin scrub. Sugar works as well. Mix a bit of baby oil or body lotion with it if you have dry skin. An alternative to cleansers is to use a pinch of baking soda with a bit of moisturizer i.e. cold cream and wash it off with cold water - will help dry skin!@ A good teeth whitener is a paste made of baking soda mixed with lemon juice and peroxide. Use a single teaspoon of each to create a paste.

v/R

Clarice

 
At Saturday, April 19, 2008 , Blogger Taylor-Sara said...

Go head' clarice, those are some really good tips-hope y'all are listening....

 
At Sunday, April 20, 2008 , Blogger grant said...

Hey Sara:

Short and to the point; no decent man would ever be concerned about what "color" his child was......ever. He would know that this child was the result of the union between him and the woman he loves and that their child was part of both of them, and that makes them very, very special. And he would love that child to death. Period.

Maybe Adam, Harry Potter or Arthur would disagree with me, but I really doubt it.

 
At Sunday, April 20, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was listening to some of Prince's old music from his movie "Purple Rain" and it occurred to me that this movie was the first blk.? movie not to feature one bw. I think this movie opened the doors to other videos that excluded bw. Do you ladies think we forgave Prince for his other race female preference because we really enjoyed his music? Ann F.

 
At Sunday, April 20, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

GREAT TOPIC:

I think we have to remember that this fear is based on very real things that used to be done to BW.

1.) the idea of breeding "Black" out. Huge push for it throughout the Caribbean, Australia, India...so many more. But we're talking about a legit fear.

then when the child is born.

2.) People believing the child is not yours/or you're it's nanny,

This can go as far as an experience I saw a friend of mine experience in NYC. A white woman started yelling that she had stolen a child, and the police nearly took her daughter from her.

3.) Then the problems passing causes...because there is good passing--I'm light-skinned/vanilla fudge, lol--and physical evidence of differential treatment of the children that pass by family/society/list can go on and on. But the fear is legit.

it is not a selfish thing for you not to want to be mistreated or your children that cannot pass to be mistreated. But this is why I personally believe that the matches between BW/WM are based on real love, and not so much fetish then when I look at BM/WW relationships

(This is my opinion, and I'm willing to defend it)

It is not anything special or new for a woman to love a child that is different looking for her--for her to be it's mother. Nor is it difficult for women to look at man of different skin color, different race...hell, I've seen woman marry men covered with hair like a werewolf, or marry men who've had all their skin burned off.

But for us as BW, the racial malefactions committed against us are so great. Granted a beautiful woman is a beautiful woman, and we can always argue proxemics and availability effecting the choice of mate for men. But children and the life the guarantee for you as a BW, is something we consider, so these relations must have the bedrock of true connection and love for her to stand up to what maybe produced.

Even I falter abit at the thought of what will I do when I pick up my children from school one day, and someone thinks I'm the nanny. As on a bad day, the looks I get with my guy do get to me. Will I have enough strength, what will my husband do when the adverse occurs to him?

I just don't know....

 
At Sunday, April 20, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
I personally doubt I will have blonde children as my man has dark brown hair and brown eyes, but if she came out looking sort of Hispanic, that would be a wonderful thing merely because I think Hispanic women are beautiful. If she came out looking black, that would be delightful; black women (like myself) have a striking beauty that I love too! Bottom line, my kid is going to be GORGEOUS - no matter WHAT race she ends up as.

------------------------
And if she comes out looking white, she will still be beautiful, because white women are also beautiful. No need to pick and choose.

The article was about whether one (a bw) would be ok with having white looking babies, not black or hispanic-looking babies. So I think your reply indicates your true feelings.

 
At Sunday, April 20, 2008 , Blogger Taylor-Sara said...

JM has asked repeatedly about what happened with Tiger after the Oprah show. Does anybody know.....

 
At Sunday, April 20, 2008 , Blogger PVW said...

Georgia:

2.) People believing the child is not yours/or you're it's nanny,

This can go as far as an experience I saw a friend of mine experience in NYC. A white woman started yelling that she had stolen a child, and the police nearly took her daughter from her.

My reply:

Can you tell a bit more?

 
At Sunday, April 20, 2008 , Blogger Taylor-Sara said...

I can give an example of that myself. As I told y'all my baby brother (who is almost grown now) is half spanish (by mom's 2nd hubby after daddy died) Well as I stated before he looks extremely spanish and does not look mixed at all. When he was just 3 years old he spoke spanish fluently and had a heavy spanish accent (from his dad) One day we were in a spanish store in the city. Pedro, (my brother) got angry because my mother would not buy him a large bag of mms. She told him he was too little to be eating something that could get caught in his thoat. He tried to throw a tantrum and my mom smacked his butt, hard. Now my brother has always been an extemely bright child who knows how to work a circumstance to his advantage. Suddenly he decided to get even with my mother. The next second he lapsed into a spanish tirade against my mother and began to cry and explain in broken english mixed with spanish to a gathering crowd that my mother was not his mother, and that we had stolen him!! We tried to tell them that was not true, but we could tell by the anger and loudness of the growing crowd that they believed him! With his accent and spanish features, and language, he was completely beleivable. Suddenly the store owners demanded to know what we were doing with this beautiful little spanish baby! My mother became indignant and stated that this was her baby, and it was none of their business! At that point someone tried to bodily snatch him from my arms-and someone else called the police! I handed my brother to my sister, and tried to knock the head off the girl who tried to snatch him. The police came as things really began to heat up. One of the officers was black and one was spanish. I remember worrying that he(the spanish one) would beleive Pedro was not ours and take him from us. But it was the black officer who gave us problems. He demanded my mom Proove pedro was hers! He wanted to see a Birth certif. or SS card for him. Of course my mom did not have those items with her. The spanish officer knelt down and spoke with Pedro, who was now crying in terror. Pedro told him (in spanish) that he had lied and that we were his family. He also admitted that he was angry because he wanted candy. He gave the officer his name, his father's name and work number.
They actually called my stepfather, and he had to leave work and come down and verify that Pedro was indeed ours... That was a very scary situation. I could not beleive those people tried to take him from us, and then we had to proove he was ours!!!

 
At Sunday, April 20, 2008 , Blogger Ether Blade said...

I am not ashamed to say this but I am concerned about the color thing. My grandma on my mother's side is mixed (1/4 black, 1/4 native american, 1/4 irish and 1/4 something else. I do wonder what will my kids look like ( she has strong genes so much that my mom looks more like her fam than she does). My cousin has a daughter who looks mixed and both her parents are black. I wonder what mine will look like if I have a kid with someone who is white or mixed or black.

 
At Sunday, April 20, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi Taylor-Sara,
remember me? you gave me all that personal business advice when I wrote you. I wanted to let you know that I have been doing that buisness idea you gave me (the sitting service) and I wanted to tell you it worked just like you said it would! I'm pinching myself! I made over 5000.00 last month! Thank you so much! I cannot believe you took all that time to personally coach me like that. Nobody else does that! You are fantastic I now have over 6 sitters but we will have to add on soon as the business is growing so fast! I just cannot thank you enough. I'm crying as I write this. I was completely broke, you really don't know how much you have helped me and my child. If you ever need something -call me immediately -your friend LJ

 
At Sunday, April 20, 2008 , Blogger Taylor-Sara said...

LJ, I'm so happy for you. that really does my heart good to see sistas getting ahead. When you described your life, I knew that biz would be perfect for you. And although I helped, remember that you did all the work! So proud of you girl-keep it up....

 
At Sunday, April 20, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, here we go with that 1/4 crap. Whoever your kid resembles just love him/her and go on with your life. STOP TRYING TO MAKE SUCH A BIG DEAL OVER NOTHING. YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL JUST BECAUSE ONE OF YOUR KID'S PARENTS ARE OF ANOTHER RACE.

 
At Sunday, April 20, 2008 , Blogger Taylor-Sara said...

Sorry Rock and roll girl, I agree with Anon. We are ALL mixed with something, what the hell are you saying-that you won't love the kid if it's too dark or too light! because if that's the way you feel perhaps you should adopt so you can 'order' what you want. Just like a drive in restaurant!

 
At Sunday, April 20, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Taylor-Sara said...

Sorry Rock and roll girl, I agree with Anon. We are ALL mixed with something, what the hell are you saying-that you won't love the kid if it's too dark or too light! because if that's the way you feel perhaps you should adopt so you can 'order' what you want. Just like a drive in restaurant!"

Thank you! The kid cannot choose the color or the parents any more than the parents can choose the color of the child. Spend the time and energy being spent stressing over the color which you can't change and focus on making your child a happy healthy whole individual - which you can influence by how you act, think and treat that child in preparing them to deal with both the good and the bad in the world.

V/r

Clarice

 
At Sunday, April 20, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sara, I feel so bad that happened to your family. That must be a horrible feeling to almost have your child taken away.
Although I do want children of my own someday, I sometimes wonder if I should because I don't have the patience for them. At least not for any children I've come into contact with in my life so far. I don't take BS from anyone, and I certainly am not going to take it from a child. If that had been me, as soon as he started throwing his tantrum I would have walked away like I didn't know him. I don't think I'll be taking my children out in public until they can read directions and will be able to walk back home. Because if they try my nerves I'll drive off without them.

Maybe I shouldn't have children after all.

 
At Sunday, April 20, 2008 , Blogger Delishmish said...

Anon said:

Bottom line, my kid is going to be GORGEOUS - no matter WHAT race she ends up as.

..................................

Um, your child will be the human race, unless there is something you have not told us.

 
At Sunday, April 20, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon, you should follow own your advice: Don't have children.

Normal, healthy children are narcissistic by nature. It up to their caretakers to help shape them successfully in order for the child to inevitably take their place in the world. It seems as if you want children who give you zero grief. That's a very unrealistic outlook on parenting. I know this and I'm not even a mother yet.

Best,
Jaz

 
At Sunday, April 20, 2008 , Blogger Delishmish said...

Anon said:

I don't take BS from anyone, and I certainly am not going to take it from a child. If that had been me, as soon as he started throwing his tantrum I would have walked away like I didn't know him.

.................................


??????????????

Are you serious? Please tell me you are not serious.

Children are innocent malleable creatures incapable of BS....and the behaviour you describe to "combat" sound like the elements of child neglect, endangerment and abuse...and then jail for you, and foster care for your child.....

This is exactly the kind of behaviour I see too many of our sisters inflicting on their children. Sometimes kiddies have tantrums, lots of them..you did too. I hope your parents didn't do to you what you are actually suggesting here.

smh

 
At Sunday, April 20, 2008 , Blogger Ether Blade said...

I don't have any children and my family heritage is not crap. If I decide to adopt or become a foster mom I will love the child be they white, black or whatever. Their color has nothing to do with it.

Yes all black people are mixed , I never said we aren't. I mentioned my grandma's heritage because from time to time I think about how my children would look. My little cousin took after many of the genes from my grandma and grandpa's fam and I was wondering would that happen with my kids.

What's wrong with a person thinking about that? I don't know who God has planned for me but I wonder from time to time.

 
At Sunday, April 20, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

RockNRollSista, what is it exactly that you're concerned about? I've heard some folks say they're concerned the kid won't look like them. Some say they're concerned someone will think they're kid's nanny. Some are concerned the kid will be picked on. Some that the kid will not love them. What is it exactly you're concerned about?

 
At Sunday, April 20, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

LIGHTEN UP PEOPLE!!!!

 
At Monday, April 21, 2008 , Blogger Ether Blade said...

I am not really concerned about anything. I am just wondering what the kid would look like. Thats about it. As far as them looking "white" that wouldn't be an issue. I plan on teaching my kids both sides of their heritage but I will teach them to be proud of who they are. I don't want them to grow up confused and or hating their black side.

RockNRollSista, what is it exactly that you're concerned about? I've heard some folks say they're concerned the kid won't look like them. Some say they're concerned someone will think they're kid's nanny. Some are concerned the kid will be picked on. Some that the kid will not love them. What is it exactly you're concerned about?

 
At Monday, April 21, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey PVW

A beloved cousin (not really a cousin/but I made her one) of mine lives in new-gent/Harlem. She's blessed to be married to a gorgeous investment banker she met in college, who wants her 'comfortable.'

(Real quick: she's a sassy/know it all, like me, lol. And one day she was arguing a point in class when she heard someone say behind her, "THAT'S WRONG!" She turned around and there was J-Jacob sitting there ready to argue with her, which they did all class time and into dinner that night, and have been together ever since. )

but their first child is beautiful brown haired, green eyed girl, who danced on her toes and looked nothing like her mother-but was a sassy/know it all like her mom, lol. And of course, as the name indicates, Jacob is Jewish, so we were visiting he's family in their bough and the place is very upscale.

At the Kosher store, getting bagels none the less, Tatanna walks to the deli section and drops a bottle of olives. Her mother comes, and repremends her and then gives her tap on the hand for what she's done and out of no where we hear: HOW DARE YOU SLAP THAT GIRL!

We turn around, and it's a woman in her late 30's/early 40's stomping towards us and then says. 'How dare you slap your patron's child"--what a weird way to put it, but that's what she said. So, Lee-Leslie, responds, "I would kindly appreciate it if you would mind your own business," takes her crying daughter's hand and beings to walk away.

This woman then says' "take another step nigger, and I'll call the police right now." At that was the first time I had ever heard the word used, in the north, by a white woman and in that context. So, I step in add say, 'Excuse me, but that girl is that nigger's daughter, and who the hell are you?" She then says,' You're lying, and I'm calling the police right now." She starts actually pulling out her phone and starts to dial 911.

Now I just see Lee pick up her daughter and have this look of fear in her eyes, and look like she's about to bolt for the door. But then the store manger walks up behind the woman and takes the phone from her hands. She turns to him and he in a forced, harsh/calm tone say: "Ma'am I would appreciate it you would leave my costumer and her daughter alone. I will also ask you to leave immediately as your presence and business is not wanted."

It was all so surreal for a moment, and I remember her fixing her jacket and trying to walk out. But Lee just burst into tears, standing there stroking her daughter's hair and her daughter kissing her. I remember trying to pay for the things so quickly, and the store manger taking a register and apologizing. Being there, walking to her in-law's after that, the tears: it was a moment of my life.

It was so real, and the feeling of my heart in jumping right into my throat--I was so scared to think of what would have happened. I can honestly tell you that, it's those real moments that just scares the s... out of you; and it was my friend's experience.

 
At Monday, April 21, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

RocknRollSista...focus on your education and relax. There is no way on this Earth you can divide someone up and locate the 1/4 whatever in them. Ok, your family told you that "Mister" had his way with one of your great grandmoms and how many generations ago was that? Your family is mixed you seem a little proud and for what reason? Why be proud of the fact that more than lightly "Mister" took advantage of one of your grandmoms. Rocknrollsista just sit down and think about what you are really trying to say.

 
At Monday, April 21, 2008 , Blogger BeautifulBlkWoman said...

Blogger RockNRollSista said...

I am not really concerned about anything. I am just wondering what the kid would look like. Thats about it. As far as them looking "white" that wouldn't be an issue. I plan on teaching my kids both sides of their heritage but I will teach them to be proud of who they are. I don't want them to grow up confused and or hating their black side.

~~~~~~~

RNRS, I have found that if you love yourself and your ethnicity (one race=HUMAN), and teach your child accordingly, they will have a balanced outlook on their racial makeup. If you and your SO are comfortable with your differing ethnicities, then your children will pick up on it as well.

At this stage in my life, what color the baby comes out is immaterial to me. I have 50 million other things I can be worrying about (Is she healthy? Did I do something wrong? Is she breathing? Are all her parts working?), s what the heck would be the point in worrying about something so trivial?

With all the stuff that can go wrong during a pregnancy, instead of worrying does the baby look white, we should be thanking G-d with every breath we take that we have been blessed with a happy, healthy infant for us to love.

 
At Monday, April 21, 2008 , Blogger Taylor-Sara said...

BBW, I could not agree more.....

georgia, I'm so sorry that happened to your cousin. I know how scary that is. And that woman having the nerve to call her names and all. I'm surprised she did not knock the mess out of that woman. I'm glad she controlled herself though, many times they want to see us act a fool.....

 
At Monday, April 21, 2008 , Blogger PVW said...

Oh my word, Georgia, oh my word. This reminds me of what a black female author wrote of in Shattered Bonds, and what others have said in the same vein.

As black women, our motherhood tends to be questioned more than others, and not just in this context.

 
At Monday, April 21, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

For some reason, I always imagine that if I have a boy, he'll be a clone of my nephew and if I have a girl, she'll be the clone of my young cousin. My nephew is slightly fairer skinned than I and my cousin is several shades darker than I. I suppose I'd like a mini-me so it's more important that a daughter would look like me, regardless of her skin color.

_________

Maybe I’m having a bad month or year or something but I feel a need to share this morning. I’ve been on the “market” for a while now. I live in Boston. I must preface this by saying that I don’t for a second doubt my attractiveness or whether I deserve a relationship. I know I’m beautiful inside and out. I know that being single for so long has forced me to really enjoy my own company and become content on my own, making me better suited for a relationship than most. Even during a chubby phase a few years back, I modeled. Diverse interests, cheery personality, lots of hobbies, earned degrees from two prestigious universities and am currently still in an area with loads of educated, worldly young people. I interact with them daily.

I’ve got height working against me in the dating world though I love my height. Day in and day out, I interact with black, white, Southeast Asian and East Asian men. The most that ever comes of it is flirting with mostly Persian and sometimes Southeast Asian men. I’m a member of the dating and networking websites. On match.com, I’ve come across men who specifically exclude black women from their preferences but contact me; that’s not the sort of man I want. The black men in my social and professional circles date white women. The one that I thought might have potential is now having “relations” with my roommate, a white woman. The interracial dating sites have yielded pen pals from across the country. That’s it.

I have loads of friends which is great but the number of years I’ve been single is embarrassing to admit considering my age. While I do enjoy my own company, there are some areas that are lacking, most notably sex. At this point, I can either give up my no-sex-outside-of-a-mutually-monogamous-relationship condition, a wonderful tool that keeps one from confusing sex with intimacy or lust with love, or I can find a man which will likely require a train ride. Alternatively, I could tap into the under 16 and over 60 age brackets since these are the men who seem to show interest. Have you ever considered the possibility that some people, sometimes in geographical regions, simply don’t consider black women attractive AND relationship-worthy? I’ve had relationships with white men and I know many of your readers have as well. I’m curious to see how many other readers find themselves in the wrong place.

 
At Monday, April 21, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

RockNRollSista said...
I am not really concerned about anything. I am just wondering what the kid would look like. Thats about it. As far as them looking "white" that wouldn't be an issue.



Isn't this statement contradicting itself? "I'm not worried what it will look like but worried what it will look like." Is what this is saying.

 
At Monday, April 21, 2008 , Blogger Eric said...

hey, this is going to be a bit off topic, but i thought you'd like to hear this.

i was at my local mall a few days ago and i saw not one, not two, but THREE bw/wm couples. now, a few years ago i don't think i would have seen three bw/wm couples around in time span of a year, let alone in a single day. talk about the numbers increasing!

 
At Monday, April 21, 2008 , Blogger Ether Blade said...

I am sure BeautifulBlkWoman that my kids will be happy and healthy no matter what.

Anon,(mom's mom)grandmother's racial background comes from the fact that her mother was Native American and Irish and her father was black and white. The only white man involved in this situation is my great great grandpa Angus whose native american wife bore 10 kids. My great grandma was one of them. She bore three with my great grandpa . My grandma was one of them she bore two with my grandpa. My mom had me. Thus I am black but without all of these unions, my mom never would have been born and my parents wouldn't have married. Ofcourse I would not be here .

Now what I was thinking about the genes in my family. My younger cousin (my aunt's daughter's daughter)doesn't look like either of her parents. She has traits from my grandma and grandpa.

Now with that said many people think that because a black woman marries a white man or a black man marries a white woman and the children come out "white" it comes directly from the father. In reality the child gets genes from both parents so the mom's backgound has something to do with it. We as black folks have different hues ,hair types , eye colors ..etc because of our genes. You never know what your child will look like.

 
At Monday, April 21, 2008 , Blogger EmergingPhoenix said...

OK, I have 20 things going through my head right now, so I will try my best to be coherent.

First, I want to say, leave rock’n’roll girl and the other anon alone. Anon, I think you were right in your assessment you are not ready for children, because your comment did sound immature. However, I think what anon needs is guidance on appropriate ways to handle children, and not condemnation. I don’t have kids, but I want them, and everyday I feel like I am a “mommy-in-training”. Not every woman is going to have this, but if she wants kids, then we should be helping her gain better mothering skills. As for Rock’n’Roll Sista (sorry if I got the name wrong), I think she was just pondering the possibilities out loud. She really doesn’t sound as if she has issues. We all wonder about what our children may come out as. Hell, I used to play with image merging software, with my ex, when we jokingly wanted to know what our kids would look like.

Second, there is a convo going on over at Zabeth’s site, that I thought might interest some of you, in regards to the most recent black woman being kicked off of The Bachelor.

Lastly, @ anon Monday, April 21, 2008, who inquired about being in the wrong area. I feel like I am in the wrong area as well. Some would beg to differ, but I think the bp out here are in real denial about the state of affairs out here. There has been a huge black exodus out of the bay area, and there wasn’t any natural disaster to drive them out. People are openly hostile to bw. Although, I have encountered numerous bw who will deny this, I have also witnessed ALL of them being treated hostile within moments after denying this happens. Evia, has said in the past, that if we find ourselves in these areas, we should consider moving, and I know Boston, isn’t known for being the most racially tolerant place in the nation. But I am just not one to pack up and leave, because…of whatever, so I haven’t made the leap yet. However, with the clock ticking (I never thought those words would ever cross my lips…or keyboard), and a quality of life, I want, I may have to move. You may want to consider that as well. I am just not the type to be importing guys from anywhere, so I guess I need to be where I like them, and they like me. I think the biggest indicator that I need to leave is the fact, that every guy I have been remotely interested in, has been a new transplant to the area. If you have a great social circle, and you still aren’t meeting quality men, then I would say it might be time to consider a change of scenery.

 
At Monday, April 21, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Sara...great blog! I'm going to comment since I have some experience on the subject.
The short version of the story is that when the doctors told me that it would be difficult for me to get pregnant on my own, I was devastated. I cried and prayed so hard for a baby.(I joke that God answered my prayers, just to shut me up, he probably got tired of hearing me begging-LOL). I was so happy when the test finally came out positive, but I had to stay calm and relaxed throught the pregnancy.
I couldn't have cared less about skin color. Anyway, since i'm dark, I assumed that my future children would be some shade of brown. In the end I gave birth to a very healthy, and very light, blond haired and blue eyed girl. Yes people stare, and assume that i'm her nanny, but I don't care, i'm just so happy to have a child of my own, that i'm not going to let anyone take this joy away from me.
The bottom line is, children are a blessing. It doesn't matter what color they are, or what they look like. All that matters is that they be are healthy and loved.

We're trying for a second child, i'm praying we'll get lucky again...feel free to send positive cyber-energy my way :-)

 
At Monday, April 21, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

RocknRollSista, please drop it. I know you may have come across the wrong way but you backtracking isn't helping. Just kind of digging deeper.

 
At Monday, April 21, 2008 , Blogger Taylor-Sara said...

misses9 I def. am sending love energy your way! I'm so happy for you! That is really great news...

Eric, thanks so much for the info, I'll bet you made the day of a few ladies with that information.... thanks.

 
At Monday, April 21, 2008 , Blogger Ether Blade said...

Thank emerging pheonix and no u did not get my name wrong :) Atleast I know I wasn't the only one pondering.

JaliliMaster, I am definitely going to do that. I am tired of explaining myself anyway.

 
At Monday, April 21, 2008 , Blogger Boutique Mix Fashion said...

Great wealth-building tips and ideas.

 
At Monday, April 21, 2008 , Blogger EmergingPhoenix said...

Wow, the universe is a funny thing! Boutique Mix, I checked out your site and I thought you had a lot of great stuff there. And talk about timing, I am just on the market for a black cocktail dress. In addition, I JUST signed up to donate and help with KIVA the other day. Talk about coincidences!!

Oh, and Misss9, I am def sending you positive cosmic baby wishes! =)

 
At Monday, April 21, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

'JaliliMaster said...

RocknRollSista, please drop it. I know you may have come across the wrong way but you backtracking isn't helping. Just kind of digging deeper."

She was backtracking. I asked rocknrollsista for more clarifications, and she obliged. @ Rocknrollsista, thanks for explaining. I don't feel as you do, but you're entitled to your feelings.

 
At Tuesday, April 22, 2008 , Blogger Sophisticatedblkwoman said...

Great post as always Sara, I've been meaning to email you on an idea I have and see if you have any advice on how to get it started.

 
At Tuesday, April 22, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Sara, I feel so bad that happened to your family. That must be a horrible feeling to almost have your child taken away.
Although I do want children of my own someday, I sometimes wonder if I should because I don't have the patience for them. At least not for any children I've come into contact with in my life so far. I don't take BS from anyone, and I certainly am not going to take it from a child. If that had been me, as soon as he started throwing his tantrum I would have walked away like I didn't know him. I don't think I'll be taking my children out in public until they can read directions and will be able to walk back home. Because if they try my nerves I'll drive off without them.

Maybe I shouldn't have children after all."


I agree with you. I can't stand selfish people and children are the most selfish, demanding creaturees of God's green earth. I'm thinking about having my tubes tied one day. Not every woman has a maternal instinct.

 
At Tuesday, April 22, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

The women on this blog are psycho and take offense at absolutely EVERYTHING that is said. I can't stand you crazies anymore, I'm done here. I just pray there are no white people listening. It will just CONFIRM that black women are crazy, whether they are with white men or not.

GET A GRIP!

 
At Tuesday, April 22, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon asked “Have you ever considered the possibility that some people, sometimes in geographical regions, simply don’t consider black women attractive AND relationship-worthy?”

I don’t believe it is the area as much as it is the era. BW must remain positive and evolve with the changing times without jeopardizing our safety and standards.

 
At Tuesday, April 22, 2008 , Blogger Taylor-Sara said...

Anon, you're the one who sounds 'crazy' to me. I don't even know what the hell you are upset about! whatever......

 
At Tuesday, April 22, 2008 , Blogger BeautifulBlkWoman said...

Anonymous said...

The women on this blog are psycho and take offense at absolutely EVERYTHING that is said. I can't stand you crazies anymore, I'm done here. I just pray there are no white people listening. It will just CONFIRM that black women are crazy, whether they are with white men or not.

GET A GRIP!

~~

*waves bye bye* Don't let the doorknob hit you in the split on the way out!

I love these "farewell cruel blog" type posts. Knowing damned good and well they'll be lurking their azzes off. *side eye and gas face*

I hate b*tch*ssness

 
At Tuesday, April 22, 2008 , Blogger Delishmish said...

beautifulblkwoman said:

I love these "farewell cruel blog" type posts.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

this had me roflmao....brilliant

 
At Wednesday, April 23, 2008 , Blogger bwdb said...

Beautiful Black Woman:


You ain't nuttin but the truth!

William & Laurelton are still trying to post on mine...They've had their moment...Sara has her own group of obsessed fans too i see..LOL

 
At Wednesday, April 23, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, all I have been gone a while focusing on my studies. I like the post about black women having white babies. I do think that some black women don't want there kids to look too white. I have seen this. I have also noticed that it is because of the questioning they may endure. When you date a white man, you can be made to feel like a traitor to the bc. The fact of the matter is that bw/ww are increasing in numbers. I went to the movies and saw this tall slim white guy with a thick black woman. She wasn't skinny. She was dressed nicely and seemed so happy. I looked at her like, she was about most black women's sizes that I see. I was shocked, to a certain degree. It just shows that there isn't a certain criteria to date a white man, like many are made to believe. I was happy for her and couldn't stop looking at them. They probably thought I was wierd for looking back at them as, I was leaving the movies. I do notice that when black women have a child with a white man, that the child does look more white compared to the other way around. How could you not love that child. It doesn't matter the color or complexion. That is your child. They will have your face most of the times. The color may just be different. Either way it doesn't matter.

 
At Wednesday, April 23, 2008 , Blogger Taylor-Sara said...

thanks Tif. I know that when my mom was pregnant with my brother(pedro) I felt funny because he was not my dad's child, and I wondered if I would really love him or just tolerate him. Well, from the day he was born, he stole all of our hearts and from the first time I held him I did not care who he was or how light he was or who fathered him. I just felt completely in love with him and thought he was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen.....

 
At Wednesday, April 23, 2008 , Blogger GoldenAh said...

Most of the physical traits of a child get passed on from the father. I forgot the percentage, but it's quite high. The reason is biological: so the guy knows it's his kid. So if the father is light, the child will most likely be light.

I agree with someone who stated that people like to act as though black women aren't good mothers. Hence the eagerness to question who is their offspring. Wow! Some of these stories made me feel combative, and I don't even have children.

 
At Thursday, April 24, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with someone who stated that people like to act as though black women aren't good mothers. Hence the eagerness to question who is their offspring. Wow! Some of these stories made me feel combative, and I don't even have children.
___________________

Interesting statement because it was BW who took care of everyone else's children and fed them from our breasts. All of a sudden BW are not fit mothers. Hmmm...

 
At Thursday, April 24, 2008 , Blogger Ether Blade said...

Your welcome. Its cool.

'JaliliMaster said...

RocknRollSista, please drop it. I know you may have come across the wrong way but you backtracking isn't helping. Just kind of digging deeper."

She was backtracking. I asked rocknrollsista for more clarifications, and she obliged. @ Rocknrollsista, thanks for explaining. I don't feel as you do, but you're entitled to your feelings.

 
At Thursday, April 24, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know someone who is darkskin and the baby's father is lightskin. His mom is 1/2 cherokee and 1/2 white. His dad is 1/2 black and 1/2
white. That makes the dad of this child more white then black. Well mom has kinky hair and no resemblance to white features. The father on the other hand does. The child's eyes are light brown like dad. The child has dark black, long, curly hair. It is the kind of hair that is wash and go. It is the texture of the father's only thicker. She looks like halle berry in the face but also like terri seymour. Skin complexion is slightly darker. White women always gawk at the child and say that the mom is lucky that her hair texture turned out like it did. People don't think that the mom is related to the child because the mom is very dark. Well depending on what mixture the mom has, the child may have more white blood or cherokee. For this child to come from two black parent's people are amazed at her features. The dad being black due to father being part black. Black people have mixture in them. You just never know how genetics will play out.

 
At Thursday, April 24, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

The possibilites aren't high in regards to a darkskin woman havng a white child but anything is possible. It all about the genes and how they pair up. If a darkskin person has white genes that pair up with the white fathers genes, then it could happen. I am going to try and find the link, where it shows this darkskin woman with her white son. I am looking so I will be back.



Now this is interesting. Just when you thought a person wouldn't go there.
www.parentsbehavingbadly.com/2005/09/21/white-mom-convinced-mixed-race-son-he-had-skin-disorder/ -

 
At Thursday, April 24, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you know that Carly Simon's mother was half black and half Jewish? Does that make Carly Simon one quarter black? Who knew!!!

 
At Thursday, April 24, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

It has more to do with the Black partner's genotype than his/her phenotype (or outward appearance). Most Black Americans have some degree of European ancestry, that's the primary reason for the occurence of two dark skinned parents having a child somewhat lighter than themselves (it's also possible for two lighter skinned Blacks to have a child somewhat darker than themselves since both partners). This also explains why some dark bw might have very fair skinned/"white-appearing" children by wm. However, having partial Euro ancestry (or a fair-skinned grandma) is no guarantee that your kids will be very light, as it's all up to a roll of the genetic dice, anyway.

The complexion of many biracials, as they mature, often seem to fall somewhere in the mid-range between the skin tones of their parents.

 
At Thursday, April 24, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just WOWOWOWOWOW

Some of these stories breaks my heart but I am glad we are putting our experiences outhere so we can all be prepared and stay strong. Love this post and wealth tips. (BTW Evia had a financial blog listed on her site but I cant find it now, can you help me find it).

thanks, Osk

 
At Thursday, April 24, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

GoldenAh said...
Most of the physical traits of a child get passed on from the father. I forgot the percentage, but it's quite high. The reason is biological: so the guy knows it's his kid. So if the father is light, the child will most likely be light.

_____________________


You maybe on to something because in paternal societies, what the father is, so the child is. I certainly know that in the Torah/Bible, they are very well demonstrated examples. This is why the men in Darfur are being killed and the women raped and sometimes impregnated on purpose to produce an "Arab" child.

There is 'something' to this genetically as the woman is the fertile soil to which men "plow" to plant their seed. You plant an apple seed, you get and apple tree.
(It is not to negate the mother's genetic imput though. :o))) )

 
At Thursday, April 24, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://onedroprule.org/about1567-0-asc-0.html

Here is the website. It is interesting.

 
At Thursday, April 24, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Carly Simon...I always thought that her hair and looks were different for some strange reason.
Never once did I hear her say she was part blk.

 
At Friday, April 25, 2008 , Blogger PVW said...

Blogger Phantom Mare said...

I agree with someone who stated that people like to act as though black women aren't good mothers. Hence the eagerness to question who is their offspring. Wow! Some of these stories made me feel combative, and I don't even have children.
___________________

Interesting statement because it was BW who took care of everyone else's children and fed them from our breasts. All of a sudden BW are not fit mothers. Hmmm...

My reply:

Dorothy Roberts (Killing the Black Body and Shattered Bonds) argues that when we are mothering children who look to be more like ours, meaning they don't look mixed-race, we are more likely to have our children taken from us because we are "bad mothers."

I would add, when we are mothering children that are ours but who are mixed-race and white-looking, we are not seen to be the real mothers; instead we are seen as fulfilling that traditional idea of us serving as caretakers to white women's children.

Thus, when the woman referred to earlier in the posts acted as a mother and reprimanded her child, the white woman threatened to call the police...

 

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