It's ok to snatch up a good white man!!!
This post will only be up a short time, as I have got to finish the rest of the story people are emailing me about. So if you want to comment, I suggest you do it quickly.....
White men are the most married out of all men, and not only that. They are the most IR married men all the men in the US. Many of them are married to Asian women. Many sistas write me time and again asking how Asian women are able to seize so many good WM. The reason so many Asian women have been able to snatch up some many good wm is because Asian women have made it clear that they (for the most part) don't give a damn who does not like it and they ACTIVELY make it clear that they WANT WM!! Ladies that is something you can easily do as well. There's no trick to it. Simple make it clear what you want. WM have been hearing for years, "I don't want nohtin but a brotha!" do you really think he would just automatically believe many sistas are now interested in WM? Of course he's going to be apprehensive, and doubtful. I remember once when I lived in Hawaii, and was going to Kaleheo high school. I saw an Asian friend of mine (kiko) flirting with a wb in the outdoor hallway (All school halls are outdoors in Hawaii) I watched two Asian boys making faces at her, and doing everything in their power to convey to her that they were unhappy with what she was doing. She kept laughing and smiling at the wb, and paid them no mind. She persisted until he asked for her number. Minutes later she walked over to me smiling, with the two boys in the back ground looking like pots about to boil. I asked her if she was aware that they were pissed. She looked back at them and then at me and I will never forget her response: "yes, I notice, and no, I don't give damn. -Kiko do best for Kiko, not Asian boy"
That's classic ladies, I think many of us will have to learn to emulate the Asian ladies before us. Do what is best for you and your children and forget about all who does not like it. If you want a wm, go for it. Make your wants/intentions clear. It is imperative that bw learn to be invested in their own welfare above all others. Yes, you heard me right. I said ABOVE all others. What do I mean? I mean that your interests should be your paramount concern. If you don't have your own best interest at heart, certainly nobody else will either. I'm sure nobody has told this to many of you sistas-so let me tell you:
YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO WANT WHOMEVER or WHATEVER YOU WANT in life!!! Many bw seem to feel ashamed of wanting wm, like they're secretly guilty of committing a crime. lol. Ladies when was the last time you saw a bm feel guilty about flaunting his ww? If anything, he's proud and haughty and if you even look like you might be upset, He's happy as hell! You just made his day. Because he does not give a damn what you think, and you better not waste a minute of your precious time caring what he thinks either. I want you to not give a good damn! Just between us let me tell you a little secret: Most bm are not worth crying over -EVER!!! Most of them are coming from fatherless homes, and have no idea how to be good men/husbands/fathers. As a result, most of them are angry, damaged, and mean. Steer clear of damaged men of ANY color and only spend your precious time with good men. Now, having said that, let me state unequivocally what I find so attractive about wm.
- I love the fact that most of them are gentlemen.
- I love that most of them are really good fathers.
- I love that most make decent- to really good husbands.
- I love the deep conversations- that go so much deeper than "hey shortie....
- I love the deep intellect of many (certainly not all of them)
- I love the respectful mindset of most -not all-
- I admit I really love that pale skin, it's so different from mine
- I love the dark, soft hair and blue/green eyes....
9. I also love fact that most of them are very marriage minded and raised to believe in the sanctity of marriage....
I could go on all day but I think you get the point. I am not ashamed to admit my attraction. BW have been ashamed for too long. You have a right to like whatever you like. I just think it's time we followed our Asian sistas and make it known. Already when I'm out and about with my family. I see more bw/wm than I ever have before, so I think the message is starting to sink in. But when you see bw loudly proclaim 'Nothin but a brother' -simply add," for you not me!" This simple proclamation has hurt more bw than any other I know of. If you want to know why bm's stock went up so high, all you have to do is look in the mirror. You sent it there, (either by the Nothin but a bm bullsh*t,) or by sitting silently by while other bw screamed it. If you want to know the truth, this is why bm are fighting so hard to keep bw from dating out. It's not that they want bw back (they don't- lets keep it real) they just don't want their ww to find out that their image/stock is nothing but a fictitious house of cards! They know good and well the only reason many non-blk women are with them is because bw wanted them so badly, their stock was inevitably driven up. But they also know that as more and more bw make it clear they are no longer interested in them and want WM, other women will follow suit. I'm sure you've all experienced this: In school or elsewhere. There was a guy you did not think was so hot, but your friends kept talking about him, and raving about him, and he started to look better and better to you! This is exactly what happened with bm! We built him up so high other women decided, "well, if he's that damn good/fine -he should be with me!!! "
This is one of the reasons despite the fact that there are some really fine Asian men, most women are not looking for Asian men. Why? Because many women are thinking: 'if their own women don't want them -why would I! " This is why BM are fighting to keep you focused on them, and away from WM, not because they love/want you, but because they know when the truth comes out, (that they are NOT ALL THAT!) Their stock will free fall faster than Enron! Go for what you want ladies, and if what you want is a wm, you have every right to get it and snatch it up, don't let anyone tell you different...You every right to snatch up a good white man!
PS. I know this post will bring out the trolls, so don't worry, I will be moderating carefully. All irrelevant/accusatory comments will be deleted.
posted by Taylor-Sara @ 4:01 AM
48 Comments
48 Comments:
I really liked that list you compiled :) That's one of the reason's why I find WM so attractive too.... ***they strongly believe in the sanctity of marriage***
Since I want to get married one day, IT ONLY MAKES SENSE to include this and other MARRIAGE minded men in your dating pool (if you want to get married that it).
www.bwfin2008.blogspot.com
THanKs for telling the truth about MOST BM and not being affraid to say it! I hate it when bw try to hush me about telling the TRUTH about BM even after a bm has spread LIES about BW. And Thanks to you I'm no longer 'ashamed' of my attraction to non black men. The 'shame' is the reason I have not dated a wm yet...because believe me wm have show interest! I'm praying for all my sisters to become like us!!Thanks again for you work to help bw see the light. My concern is that bw who have the 'only a brotha' mentality are not going to come to this blog in the 1st place. Do you think you can create a blog about bw and any other topic, such as black woman celebrities and make sure you start to slowly put in the blog your ideas about bw dating out?
Very funny, but insightful, but so true!
PREACH!
I was just talking to a friend of mine about this after bible study at our church last night. There have always been IR couples at our church but there are more and more BW/WM couples of all colors and sizes. I know in the church, the numbers of BW marrying are rather dismal so I told her if you want to get married in the church, open your eyes to WM, HM, AM, a man who is marriage minded and not just trying to play games.
Jess, that would be interesting, but my goal with this blog is to look for those who are looking for a way out. IOWs I don't feel the need to waste precious energy trying to convert the nothing but a brothra kind of woman. She will have to come to the conclusion on her own, that she wants more. I appreciate your comments but I'm extremely busy as it is, and I don't have more hours to put into this every week... At the end of the day either people want to get help or they don't....
I have made it a point to let people know that the chances are my next husband will be white or Jewish. Black folks don't like to admit, but a lot of bm don't make good husbands. The fact is a lot of bm are selfish whorish losers. I want a man who wants to plan family vacations, live in the best neighborhoods, send our child to the best school and take me to dinner and dancing. Most bm are too busy kicking it with the boys and trying to keep it 'real'.
Like so many other of my bf divorcees, we were actually happier after our divorce. Why? Because being married to a bm was like having an additional child.
Thanks Sara and yes I am anticipating the rest of the story.
But each and every day/time I read your blog, I am more happy with me and the people to whom I am attracted. at the risk of throwing in the shoulda's I wish I had been strong and brave enough to be honest and unashamed years ago.
Anyway - which brings me to a 'story'. My mother *sigh*. Went to the family reunion recently and my cousin T is dating a way cool dude G. She has always been a bit different but hey I figure I am too so it doesn't matter. Before I saw her my mother made some comment about 'white guy' dating, blah blah blah. She always complains about something so I blew it off. Well as I was driving up the slope at the hotel. My cousin is standing near a vehicle, but you can see she is waiting for someone. Then Up lifts G's head, oooohhhhh THAT is what my mother was trying to say. T has been dating G - who is a 'white guy' for the past couple of years. We got out and I gave her a hug and shook his hand. I think she was studying my face when I was looking at the two.
Later as we were getting back in the vehicle, watching the family leave the hotel. T&G stepped out to walk to the car together. My mother said "You're next". Now why I gave this woman the benefit of the doubt - go figure. A few cousins were recently married (and others retired) so I figured she meant married soon. NOPE!
She quickly followed (once she saw the blank look and smile by saying "Yeah you are going to come in here with some white guy saying you two have been dating or you are going to get married" She tried to cover it up with a smile, and said she would be fine with it; but I have to wonder.
She tried to attribute it to the fact that I like 'different things' and am smart. (yeah I can refute the smart thing with some dumb choices). the first thing that came to mind are the ignorant BP who tell me I do thing black people don't do and so on and so forth.
Then I thought - well I know a HUGE reason I had kept things quiet.
Do you know I still remember her telling me as a child in Colorado that I better not come bringing home some Blonde-haired blue-eyed boy saying I was going to marry him. Don't worry I am attracted to red-heads first, then the Dark haired guys (hee hee). But I think once we moved to Philly she didn't mention it anymore since we were submerged in the hateful community of damaged BP figuring I'd blend in - HAA!!
Okay I wrote a lot more, but had to tell you.
Oh and I Hope T&G get married, they are great together.
Great post. It's funny I had a post on my blog why I like Asian guys. I don't understand why women have such low standards of men. Even at a young age I knew I was going to date a man who meet my expectations, nothing less. I'm very picky about guys.
another great post!
It really like the list Sara.
I have always found it easier to have a deeply intellectual as well as philosophical conversation with WM.
... At the end of the day either people want to get help or they don't....
Amen to that!
"The reason so many Asian women have been able to snatch up some many good wm is because Asian women have made it clear that they (for the most part) don't give a damn who does not like it and they ACTIVELY make it clear that they WANT WM!!"
___________________________________
This true from my experience. I had a friend in college named Nancy and she was of Chinese descent. She was sweet, intelligent and very beautiful. She also had no problem expressing her interest in wm (and either did I). She had absolutely no interest in being with an Asian man and often spoke badly of them(I won't repeat what she would say about them because I don't want to offend any Asian men who might be reading this blog).
I totally agree with Sara. We as black women, should have the attitude as that of Asian women and not give a sh*t about what anyone thinks when it comes to our dating preferences, especially not black guys.
BTW, I have also hated referring to black men as MEN. I have always preferred calling them "black guys" and from now on when I do refer to them online and offline, it will be as "black guys or bg" because most of them are hardly worthy of being referred to as men.
This was a good read.
I ain't gonna lie, I think you gave the best example possible for IRR, I don't think you could find ANY better example than this, yet this best example is also the "worst" (and I don't blame you, this is not YOUR fault). What I like about AW is that they do what they want. But what bothers me is that so many of them remind me of BM because they've been dissing AM for years and years and years. So I feel AM are in the same situation as BW.
But I get your point Sara, it's about showing that you don't care who looks, who tries to intimidate etc. It's about letting NON-BM know that you desire them and that you're not one of those lost "NOTHING BUT A BROTHA" sista.
The sad thing is that MOST of these "NOTHING BUT A BROTHA" chicks do this not to make BM feel bad because "society makes it so hard on them", that doesn't mean they're not attracted to NON-BM, they just feel the OWE BM sympathy. Well you know, BW face racism and sexism yet we don't whine and b*tch about it, we talk about it but we DO SOMETHING! Most of these sisters are brainwashed and afraid.
IOWs I don't feel the need to waste precious energy trying to convert the nothing but a brothra kind of woman. She will have to come to the conclusion on her own, that she wants more.
Exactly! And some of your readers ARE "nothing but a brother" BW, I know cause I was one of them. I know MANY shout the "NBAB" crap out of LOYALTY, FEAR, BRAINWASHING but deep inside love ALL RACES of men BECAUSE I was one of them. I have other friends who shout "NBAB" because they're not FREED from their fear, I tell them if you wanna find a good man regardless of race, you're gonna have to stop doing this cause no matter how bad you SECRETLY DESIRE them you can't have what you PUBLICLY REJECT. You may not know it but they read and you help many of them. You're doing the right thing by not trying to convert them. You shouldn't bother because the FACTS speak for themselves. I was convinced because I read the FACTS in many IRR blogs that couldn't be DENIED - facts that I already knew deep inside but I thought I was ALONE in this so I didn't dare to face these hard truths. Any BW who reads your blog or Evia's, or others, and STILL defends a brotha no matter what after the FACTS of indoctrination and no reciprocity, is in DENIAL and made a CONSCIOUS DECISON to lie to herself and SINK in the TITANIC.
Awesome list!!! I'm with you there for number seven too. I like how when I hold my friend's hand, how his skin and my skin make an awesome combo.
lets get something straight (sista who's tired of hearing about white men,) This is Sara's blog hon, and Sara is NOT going to be censured on her own blog. Now if things are not to your liking over here, We'll all understand (and get over it quickly,) if you decide not to come back. I think I have said before suggestions are welcome but don't you ever think you are going to TELL me what to talk about on MY blog....
I have been reading this blog for months and this article was so encouraging. In fact it has made me write my very first post! My sentiments exactly...couldn't have been written any better. It's time for us to really look and date other races!!
I think the reason why asian women go for white men is the same reason black men go for non black women most of the time. There are a lot of good asian men out there but the western world has tried it's hardest to make them appear less masculine, just as they have tried with black women(less feminine). Often times you'll hear asian women talk about how white men are more manly than asian men and basically down asian men in general. I'd prefer it if black women who wanted to date out do so w/o even bringing black men into the picture. Asian women and black men have had a bad rep of downing their opp. gender and I don't want the same fate for us. I like white boys. Nothing to do with the brothers.
That's exactly how I feel about AW. BW and AM are in the same situation. But both AW and BM made themselves available and I think we can learn from it sans the "dissing the opposite sex" part (which is different from stating FACTS about DBRness, same kinds of FACTS that AM state themselves about their situation). Dating outside of your race should NEVER be about a BM, that will only prove you're still emotionally attached to him. I think ANY AW or BM who disses her or his own while dating out has self-hate issues. And that's not what we BW want or need.
Taylor-Sara said...
lets get something straight (sista who's tired of hearing about white men,) This is Sara's blog hon, and Sara is NOT going to be censured on her own blog. Now if things are not to your liking over here, We'll all understand (and get over it quickly,) if you decide not to come back. I think I have said before suggestions are welcome but don't you ever think you are going to TELL me what to talk about on MY blog...."
Sara, I love how you hit people straight upside the head with the truth!!LMAO!!!
My sweetie took the kiddos and I to the beach this week. I am almost ashamed at how much I missed my blogs!!! (I am glad I have not missed the rest of your story, but I am IMPATIENTLY waiting!) Loved this post. I have always been attracted to white guys, and never had any trouble letting that fact be known! I remember my first day in kindergarden and falling in love with my blonde table mate! I am so glad my family never put any pressure or expectations on me regarding color. My parents just wanted me with a good guy.
Anyway, I am off to unpack and shake off the sand. Blessings to my sisters out there! Life is too short and too good to live for other folks approval!
Great post! One more reason WM are such a good catch is they appreciate small gestures. Loving BW tend to care for and respond well to being treated well and demonstrate that by being caring and demonstrative. Nothing is better than to be appreciated and loved for who you are.
V/r
Clarice
Wow. I'm down with IR and have been in several myself, but I think you may have an overly optimistic view of most wm which is simply not borne out by the facts. I'm not saying that some white men don't possess the qualities you mention or that more of them don't possess these qualites than your average black man. However, there are an awful lot of wife-beating, baby shaking, unintelligent, triflin' white men out there and I'm not sure they're quite worthy of the almost blanket hero worship you portray.
On the flip side, you're awful hard on black men. Now granted some are quite triflin' and I hate the glorification of all that's ghetto that is the going stereotype these days. But at the same time, as I read your post, I couldn't help but think that my father was a black man, my brother is a black man as are my cousins and uncles. And they are by and large really great guys. My father was a professor, an intellectual, well-traveled, a good provider and a romantic who always got my mom custom-made or very thoughtful gifts. My brother is a total mensch. He's as good as they get.
I have cousins who are attorneys, computer programmers, business owners, working stiffs, etc. and they're good fathers and pretty good husbands. Maybe my family's different. Maybe it's cuz we're from the islands and we never embraced the American ghetto culture.
I guess, I would say while I find myself more attracted to white men, it's not just because black men are all damaged worthless trash and white men are so great. Men are men. Some are good and some are not. I happen to have more in common with men of a certain class, educational status and social interests and the majority of those men tend to be white, but that's not a result of tremendous vitriol I feel towards lower class black men. I don't think it's necessary or emotionally mature to have to tear down one thing to express a preference for something else.
That's just my two cents (maybe a dime's worth).
Thanks for creating a forum for discussion and I especially love all the great pictures.
re:the comment by Anonymous on Saturday, August 16, 2008
I think it's great that this person knows bm who make great husbands and father material. However, the FACT can't be denied that bm have the highest rate of abandoning their kids,HIV,and going to jail (for things they DID/DO). When I hear people talking about the men they know,who are a small portion of the bm population, I just see them as people who protect black men no matter what the cost to black women and children MOST black men's behavior has. THe amount of good father and husband material is very small in the bm population. BM have shown time and time again that they dont care about their own children. I wish more bm were like your bm family members.
Qualities Of A Basher/Troll:
1. Pretend to agree with the subject matter
"Wow. I'm down with IR and have been in several myself..."
Get the target on your side, bringing their guard down
2. Then, start in softly.
"I think you may have an overly optimistic view of most wm which is simply not borne out by the facts."
3. Appear to be unbiased and reasonable
"I'm not saying that some white men don't possess the qualities you mention or that more of them don't possess these qualites than your average black man. However, there are an awful lot of wife-beating, baby shaking, unintelligent, triflin' white men out there and I'm not sure they're quite worthy of the almost blanket hero worship you portray.
"
4. After gaining the audiences attention, now you can go for the jugular
"On the flip side, you're awful hard on black men. Now granted some are quite triflin' and I hate the glorification of all that's ghetto that is the going stereotype these days. ..."
5.Introduce a bit of false-teaming and guilt to sway the reader to your side (Do not acknowledge the other persons experiences as being valid)
"...I couldn't help but think that my father was a black man, my brother is a black man as are my cousins and uncles. And they are by and large really great guys. My father was a professor, an intellectual, well-traveled, a good provider and a romantic who always got my mom custom-made or very thoughtful gifts. My brother is a total mensch. He's as good as they get.
"
6.Conclude by again appearing to be helpful & simultaneously injecting that hint of doubt...
"I don't think it's necessary or emotionally mature to have to tear down one thing to express a preference for something else.
"
7. Don't forget to compliment and use flattery towards the target
"Thanks for creating a forum for discussion and I especially love all the great pictures."
Last Anon. Before Jess.
I don't feel that I am hard on bm at all! I feel like the world is too easy on them! When you abandon your children, bring your whole community with drug deals!, constantly fill the jails and even have the nerve to make songs DISRESPECTING YOUR RACE OF WOMEN!-I feel there is not too much on this earth lower than you! I don't give a good damn whether you agree or not. These are grown men not little boys that need to be coddled! That's why bm are the pitiful creatures they are now, everybody is patting them on the head and saying "ah, he just doesn't know any better! Yes the hell he does! I don't believe for a minute that bm are the mentally challenged, neuron deprived, over stimulated little obtuse morons, the world seems to think they are. I think they know better and they can do better! And nothing is going to stop me from calling them out on their sh*t! So once again, this blog is not for everyone If it's offensive to you, perhaps you are not ready to hear the truth. That's fine but don't clog up my comment section with this bm protectionism bullsh*t! Real men don't need WOMEN to come to their rescue!!!
Your so right CW, If I had read her comment before I posted it, I probably would not have posted it. I had a wonderful black father too, (before he passed) that has nothing to do with the sorry sacs of laziness that pass for men today. And I have some wonderful men in my family. And some sorry, shiftless pathetic ones, what does that have to do with it? I don't know who she thinks she's fooling, cause I can assure her, it's not me!
..." had a wonderful black father too, (before he passed) that has nothing to do with the sorry sacs of laziness that pass for men today."
And that's the BOTTOM LINE!
The wonderful Black male role models that hopefully most BW have encountered does not excuse the horsepucky being passed off as men today....
But they will become those things if everyone continues to coddle and excuse...It is like raising children (Just goto any mall/grocery store)...The more you appease, give in, and make things easy for them, the worse the child becomes....
"...These are grown men not little boys that need to be coddled! That's why bm are the pitiful creatures they are now, everybody is patting them on the head and saying "ah, he just doesn't know any better! Yes the hell he does! I don't believe for a minute that bm are the mentally challenged, neuron deprived, over stimulated little obtuse morons, the world seems to think they are. ..."
CW said... ..." had a wonderful black father too, (before he passed) that has nothing to do with the sorry sacs of laziness that pass for men today."
True that and any woman who had a father a brother an uncle, cousin or family of the above that were/are wonderful - have examples of how a man should behave. The behavior is what matters not the color. Those quality men are quality men not because of their color but because of the content of their character. Women who have experienced that owe it to those men and themselves and their future and children to NOT settle for disrespect, neglect and abuse. If you know better and have experienced better - then choosing to be abused or settle for less is a bad choice the person is free to choose out of fear and/or laziness and live with that bad choice
V/r
Clarice
Awwww poor Anon. Troll! you spent all that time composing that super long tedious STUPID post, only to have me delete it in 2 seconds flat! ha ha
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sara, just curious. what did he/she say that got you so upset? You cannot let the trolls get to you. Remember that they don't matter. They're pissed because they know they can't stop this movement-that's all. Don't let them get you in that state.
THEY DON'T MATTER! AS FAR AS WE'RE CONCERNED THEY DON'T EXIST!!! remember that ok.....You're doing a great job and you're making an impact and that's why their foaming at the mouth....
as time goes on sara expect more and more trolls. the other day i checked out the BET message boards for women just to see what they were up to, let me tell you im reading more and more "black women wake up!...date whoever you want" type of post. All i can say is thank you Jesus. WE deserve love and our Lord and savior is hearing our cry!
on some other site for bm men im reading more and more "how come ww don't give us a chance?...why do they ignore me?" im thinking are you serious? ha, ww are waking up to lol. we tried to warn 'em =P
girl your so right. It's just that if you could have seen the filth he wrote! It was unbeleivable! It was the kind of crap you'd expect to hear only from sickos locked in prison for 20 years... Anyway, I'm over it now, I never let trolls upset me for long. Thats great to hear about the BET message boards lol. And that was too funny about the bm whining over the white girls. who knows...maybe the wgs are getting tired of them too....
Why not talk about men who are appreciated?
I'll add another item to your list: I love the legs on wm - those nicely shaped calves.
How odd that you're required to state what is clearly common sense. Why is there drama when a bw looks for her best mate - regardless of color? Bw are forced to struggle with this issue when other women choose freely.
All topics need to be considered when discussing bw/wm relationships. I see nothing 'worshipful' about it. It's a relationship option to consider. Since this topic doesn't happen with any respect, coherence, or sincerity on black websites, why not do it here (on these blogs)?
girl, we will talk about ALL aspects of IR on this blog. And I really don't give a damn who does not like it! I'm a free woman in a free country and nobody is going to muzzle me, or tell me what I can and cannot talk about!.....
@ CW
Your post about the trolls had me ROLLING!!! LMAO!
I agree with Anonymous,^.^ the one who was talking about how men are men.
Lola & others:
Lemme tell yall something...When I was looking for money to put a down payment on a house i started playing the stock market (small cap)...There were thousands of dollars daily at stake...The trolls/bashers there are NO JOKE...(The trolls that come to these blogs have NOTHING on a professional stock basher...they are utter fools to me...google janice shell in your spare time..LOL)One had to be strong mentally in order to reap any profit...These companies would hire these folks to bash to stock, hoping to shake weak hands into selling to early...Those who didn't do their homework and led by emotions quickly lost out...It's the same here...We have to be DETERMINED to make a better life for ourselves and other BW...Anyone who tries to convince us otherwise is NOT your friend...
"@ CW
Your post about the trolls had me ROLLING!!! LMAO!"
goldenah said...
I'll add another item to your list: I love the legs on wm - those nicely shaped calves.
_________________
I SECOND THAT!!
I have ALWAYS loved those calve muscles.
sky said: "as time goes on sara expect more and more trolls. the other day i checked out the BET message boards for women just to see what they were up to, let me tell you im reading more and more "black women wake up!...date whoever you want" type of post. All i can say is thank you Jesus. WE deserve love and our Lord and savior is hearing our cry!"
__________________________________
I co-sign with sky. In fact, I am seeing these types of posts more and more all over the net, not just limited to the BET boards. Even that great bastion of intolerance known as blackvoices.com has more and more posts like that.
I remember years ago probably the early 2000's when vanilla vixen (the originator of the phrase black massa kang) was the lone voice advocating bw date irr and boy was she reviled by both the women and the men. I have to admit that even I was shocked by her line of thinking. It didn't really help that her spelling was atrocious and she could be quite vulgar. After I got passed all that, I agreed with her in substance, but it did take me a while. I have to say that what swayed me most was the growing anti-black women bm posters on that board who would go after her hammer and tong, yet had nothing but non-black women in their signatures, make posts all day long about hot non-black women, denigrate bw for no other reasons other than the fact that their were black. All these thing combined made me realize that the essence of what vanilla was saying was right, open up your options and that bw should stop putting bm on a pedestal because bm do not return the favor.
Now in the year 2008, I am seeing more and more posters, far more eloquently voice this opinion. There are even some who say that although they aren't attracted to nonblack men, they are okay with it for various reasons and the mammies seem to have diminshed in #.
The sad part is that the media (television, movies print media, etc.) lags behind the internet and this change in viewpoint held by a growing # of bw is nowhere reflected. The media seems to want to hang onto the 1990's nothing but a bm image of bw on various talk shows being bitterly opposed to IRR. Which explains why today everytime IRR is the topic they always want to dig up this type of women. Case in point, that awful segment on bw in IRR on that Black in America BS as presented by CNN.
Shy said...
on some other site for bm men im reading more and more "how come ww don't give us a chance?...why do they ignore me?" im thinking are you serious? ha, ww are waking up to lol. we tried to warn 'em =P
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Oooh wow. Are you kidding?!? LOL!
But I agree...BW are waking up and will continue to do so.
The Meek shall be first!! The lowly beated one is usually the one to rise up in many legends.
phantom mare said...
"Oooh wow. Are you kidding?!? LOL!"
gurl i kid you not,lol here's a link to one of them it's so pathetic. even some of the ww told him to get over it and on w/ it.
http://www.datehookup.com/Thread-715.htm
there's more question like these on yahoo answers.
ann said..."I remember years ago probably the early 2000's when vanilla vixen (the originator of the phrase black massa kang) was the lone voice advocating bw date irr and boy was she reviled by both the women and the men. I have to admit that even I was shocked by her line of thinking."
I remember coming across these blogs(ir) some years ago,and i can tell you i wasn't ready for the message either. I didn't like what i was hearing about bm, but mostly becuase what they said were true and it was a hard pill to swallow. after a while i prayed to the lord for a good black man and i tell ya the lord asked me "why does he have to be black?". since then ive been reading these blogs so i know what im in for and to get rid of excess baggage. these blogs allow me to vent and discover.
while i was doing my search of ir of bw on the net i remember it would be nothin but bm/ww relationships even if i typed specifically for bw/wm relationships. well now if you google it you see more "bw opening up to dating out". the whole bm/ww sites are slowing being pushed down to #2,3,4 on google searches. so we are making a hit wave. especially with movies coming out.
O one last thing, cuz i just need a laugh. i was on youtube and they put up the movie samuel jackson and kerry washington movie (lake terrace,something like that) and the bm were going "how come they made the cop black and the couple bw/wm and not bm/ww. we get harrassed to". it was just pathetic, hello the movie based on a true story. and some guy was actually complaining that they get paired up w/ latino women and not white women, im like wtf?
sara,pinky,evia, and others keep pushing your blogs the message is spreading loud and clear...bw are moving on and not looking back!!!!
There are women I've known in my life( from the church I grew up in back home)who are the "Nothing But a Black Man" types who are still single and wondering why. I don't get why they are so blind to think that them limiting their choices has 100% to do with why they are not married yet. They have degrees, successful careers, etc., but no husband and children. They keep waiting for their perfect Black man to come along, when half a dozen perfectly decent White men have come along and tried to ask them out and they have turned them down. I know one of those guys could have been a good husband to them, but they were blind. So many BW have been brainwashed....
sky said... phantom mare said... "Oooh wow. Are you kidding?!? LOL!"
gurl i kid you not,lol here's a link to one of them it's so pathetic. even some of the ww told him to get over it and on w/ it. http://www.datehookup.com/Thread-715.htm there's more question like these on yahoo answers.
Oh I love it! I checked out the link and the message to BM who are boohooing - color along is not enough to recommend you.Women want men of substance - style alone is not enough! BM have coasted along so long on the well endowed sterotype and the hype of being discriminated against - which by the way they used to convince ww to go to bed with them. Have these folks have no shame coercing women into bed - how pathetic is that :) That page is a scream - the men are whining because they are SOL unless they bring their A-game.
WW are see a man like Barak Obama and saying well here is a black man that appeals to them - which means that men are going to have to step up their game. Being black is no longer enough, no more excuses. DBRBM want what they see as the "best and the brightest" and consider themselves to be 'entitled' - years of being spoiled and pampered a coddled through life as "special for having being abused by the WM" - the pigeons are coming home to roost. It sounds as though dbrm and color struck men meeting and entitled, insecure, entitled women who want to be put on a pedestal and worshiped are a match made for each other - every pot has a lid. Good for them. All that remains is the nothing for the brotha women to fight over the scraps while BW who do not drink the expand their options and the trolls will be busy trying to scare women from getting out.
V/r
Clarice
To be honest, it bothers me when people claim they dont date their own race because they (opposite gender) are ... (insert negative remarks/stereotypes). I simply PREFER to date white guys because that's what Im ATTRACTED TO. Im not going to touch on whether or not other people do that out of selfhatred, but I think its wrong. When I mention my preference, 99.99999% of the time I HARDLY EVER mention black men, because they have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with my preference. I date whoever I want to date.
hi i have read some of your bloggs and find them amazing and mind blown at the same time , i would never had thought that things like this happen to black women . being a white male i guess i have a lot to learn . i have been thinking seriously about dating outside of my race and now am in search of all the helpful material i can put my hands on , so i,ll be reading over your blogg for some time to come although i may not say much as i 'm here to learn . and ladies just rememeber the next time a blond hair , blue eyes man is staring at you , he just might be adoring you or wishing he had the nerve to speak to you .
Hi kurt, we're glad to have you but we have moved. Can you click the link in the latest post and come to the new blog. This one began to have unfixable layout problems......
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