White male privilege, and how it impacts you and your children...

Three white fathers with their black children/wife. All of these children have

benefited because of their father's race/wealth and privilege....

The following short story illustates a key point:

Amanda races wildly through the house laughing hysterically. Her little brown pigtails flew behind her as she raced through the large foyer. Rachel, her little friend from kindergarten followed quickly trying to hit her with the water balloon. Amanda turned for a split second and the in next second, she hit what felt like a wall. Down she went! In moments her daddy bent from where he had been standing, when she ran into him, and lifted her up. Love and concern filled his pale face. He gathered his daughter in his arms and held her close. Crooning that she would be ok. Her little school chum Rachel, stopped short, starring at the scene. Was this Mandy's daddy? she wondered, and why was he so ....well white? She had been to Mandy's house many times but never met her dad before, he was usually at work. She starred at them wondering why they were not in the same color family. Mandy was brown like her mom only a much lighter brown like when you colored your paper in brown and then wiped some of it off. Amanda looked serene and happy despite the pain in her throbbing back side. "And who might you be?" the tall blond man was now looking down at Rachel. Rachel gulped and took a step back. He was a very large man. "I... I'm Rachel " she answered softly. "Well Rachel, would you and Amanda like some chocolate chip cookies?" Both girls nodded eagerly in unison, as he settled them at the large dinette table and gave them milk and cookies. Rachel waited until he retreated back into the living room to whisper to Amanda. "your dad is white!" she whispered solemnly. Amanda stopped munching, her cookie paused in mid air. "I know that silly, my mom told me along time ago!" Rachel thought a moment. "don't you care?" she persisted. Amanda cocked her head to the side as if she were in deep thought. "no, " she answered finally. "I love my daddy more than... more than" she scanned the room, her eyes finally coming to rest on the open container of her favorite cookies. "more than all the chocolate chip cookies in the world!" she finished.

Rachel burst into giggles, and Amanda joined in. Neither of them noticed their moms enter the kitchen from the back yard where they had been talking. Mandy's mom Monique, looked really disappointed, and upset. Rachel's mom was talking as they entered.

"oh Monique, I didn't know you wanted Mandy to go to St Luke's! You have to put that application in when they're about 2 to 3 years old!" that waiting list is really long!" Monique sank into the overstuffed dining seat and ran her hands through her thick, dark hair. "I don't know what I was thinking, I should have thought of that a long time ago." she sighed. St Luke's was one of the most exclusive schools on the west coast-what had she been thinking? Just then her husband walked in, and casually began to look for a snack.
Monique turned to him eagerly. He was always great at fixing problems, a skill that had earned him big bonus points when she decided to marry him.

"honey, Lily says that we can't get Amanda into St Luke's because she's not on the list!" What are we going to do? She's supposed to go next year!"

John suppressed a smile. It always cracked him up how dramatic his wife was. Her sentences always seemed to end with "what are we going to do!"

"Honey, calm down. " he told her. Amanda's going -don't worry about it" Both women starred at him. Even Amanda and Rachel starred, although they kept munching their cookies. John reached into the new fridge and grabbed an apple. He was enjoying the suspense on his wife's face. Monique tried to wait patiently but he was chewing so slowly! "h o n e y!" she finally exploded. John threw his head back and laughed at her anxiety. He loved to tease her, she looked so cute all tensed up. "baby," he told her. "I'm on the board-did you forget? and I've been a generous contributor for years" "They know to hold a spot for my child" I took care of that years ago! To reassure her he went to the phone and called the board. A moment later he let her listen as it was confirmed that Amanda definitely had a held spot. Monique sighed in relief and threw her arms around her husband happily. "Momma always told me to marry the best man, and you can give your kids the best lives," she thought smugly. "And momma was right!"

This story illustrates an important point. No matter how we feel about it, white male privilege is a very important and real fact of American life. Many white males (even when not affluent) carry this privilege without even stopping to consider where it came from, and whether it's earned. They've simply always had it and therefore it has become a functual, though unconscious aspect of their personality. For instance I think we can all guess that academic, career and employment opportunities can be given or lost based on the power one's father has. But did you ever consider that everyday, mundane opportunities are also affected like whether a childhood infraction gets punished and deleted or follows said child through life? Like it or not, white men ARE the most powerful men in the world. They run companies, industries, politics and Countries. I am not saying that your average run of the mill wm can move the world. But what I am saying is that even ordinary wm will yield a good deal of power just by the nature of their skin and gender. I have had many sisters tell me that when they are with their white husbands, a whole new world opens up. They are treated better, given better service and in many instances practically catered to. Not to be shallow, but I think we need to keep this in mind when picking mates. Even if he is not wealthy, he can definitely have other resources that are just as valuable. Ex. good intellect, powerful position, exceptional problem solving skills, high degree of financial capabilities, and lets not forget that there is definitely some measure of wealth inherent in his DNA ie. (white/male). This is something that can definitely affects one's progeny for a lifetime. Imagine, one child has a loving father who can get him into Yale or Harvard. A second child has no father and a stressed out mother trying desperately to keep everything paid. The last child has a hoodlum for a father, who is involved with the criminal element and drugs. When it comes time to surmount life's obstacles/go for higher education, which one do you think will succeed? The child with the drug dealer father is in the worst possible position. He not only has to fight the demons of poverty and desperation, but he also has to overcome the dead weight of the man he calls dad trying to pull him into the life of drugs and crime. The child who has no father in the home has to fight his issues of self esteem (or lack there of) and then he must go it alone to make his way in this world. The child who has a loving and powerful father in the home has whole different mindset. He is not stressed and constantly worried. He is relaxed and confident, he not only has a father who loves him, but one who is more than happy to pull the strings that will enable him to get a good start in life as well as be his mentor when times are tough. Who do you think has the best chance in this scenario? Many WW and AW have known this secret for a long time. They will marry men who are old, not too attractive, corpulent or undesirable in a number of ways in order to reach their ends (a good life for them and their offspring). We as BW must learn to think long -term. Yes he's attractive but what else does he have going for him? (Beauty will fade) Yes, he has a nice car-but a nice car is NOT an asset. It is just a liability posing as an asset. Yes he may have a big beautiful house, but I for one would much rather be with someone who showed the financial wherewithal to buy several rental properties witch would definitely be assets and make him money, than someone who purchased a big house and had to struggle to pay for it. (now it's a liability.) I think you all get what I am alluding to here. His financial capabilities, his good parenting skills his white/male skin privilege (and his ability to make the most of it ) are all far more important than his looks and bling-bling. All that bling bling is nothing. Everyone knows 95% of the people engaging in that flaunting/flamboyant lifestyle have nothing to show for it. When it comes to choosing a man, sisters choose carefully. You want to give your children every advantage you can, and you want the best life you can get. This is not being a gold digger-this is simply being smart.....

Wealth ideas with next post.. Thank y'all for tuning in....

I'm very sorry to point this out to y'all but -Unfortunately, this is where many bm languish, and this is why there are 8 bw for every bm, and why you MUST look outside the BC for a good man. (In most cases,) - according to the the census of 2007-

There are an estimated 1.5 million Black men in prison and another 3.5 million on probation. Black males make up more than 70 percent of the total prison population, even though they make up only 6 percent of the U.S. population. The alarming incarceration rates of Black men is not a new phenomenon, but one that has reverberated in news headlines and scholarly reports for a decade.
Impoverished living conditions coupled with the failures of public education in urban school districts, unemployment and a criminal justice system primed to incarcerate Black men have created a crippling symbiosis for thousands of Black men who find themselves locked up in America’s jails and prisons