Do WM only like a certain TYPE of BW? .....+ wealth ideas -scroll down....
White American men seem to go for certain kinds of black women and not for others. The same is true for black men and white women, but that is another post. Most white men do not go for black women and those who do are not all alike. Yet most of those who do seem to go for a particular kind of black woman.
I have not done any grand survey. What follows are just some notes and observations made by me in New York. If any black women or white men want to add their own general observations that would be great. If I have it all wrong, please tell me. I have some examples at the end. You can weigh in on them.
If you ask white men to name a beautiful black woman, most will name someone who is light-skinned, like Beyonce or Halle Berry. So you would think that among black women they would mainly go after light-skinned women. But the strange thing is they do not.
And yet they do prize whiteness in women, even in black women, but the whiteness they want is not as simple as skin colour. It is more in how she talks and acts. And in the general shape of her body - thin, maybe with large breasts, but not too big of a bottom. The features of her face can be black, but not too black. Hair, surprisingly, does not seem to matter that much.
So it is not uncommon to see a white man with a dark-skinned black woman with natural hair - but she will be thin and not act “too black” - what white people in advertising call “acceptable blackness”.
Both black men and white men in America are affected by white ideas of female beauty, but they apply them to black women differently:
Black men apply it to skin colour (light) and hair (long and straight), but not so much to the shape of the body (still thick, though that seems to be changing).
White men are almost the opposite of that: they do not care so much about skin colour or hair - those who do apparently stick to white women - but they do care about the shape of the body and the features of the face.
I’m a white American male. A university and post-graduate educated professional. I regularly read and enjoy your blog. I agree with some of what you say and disagree with some.
I have been married to a BW for 13 years and, before my marriage, had a reasonable number of relationships with other BW. I know many other WM attracted to and/or married to BW. I think that your tendency to over-generalize racial issues, and especially racial issues having to do with notions of black female beauty, clouds your analysis on the issue of WM attracted to BW. A couple of brief points:
1. WM cannot enter into serious relationships with BW unless we have first learned to see black people as individuals. Once this happens, racial stereotypes and preconceptions tend to diminish or disappear.
2. Men tend to be attracted first by physical beauty. WM in relationships with BW have come to see BW as beautiful. For this reason, we appreciate the beauty of Nia Long, Jill Marie Jones and/or Serena Williams as much or more than that of Halle Berry or other slender, light-skinned BW. In fact, if there is any generalization I have seen among WM who are attracted to BW with respect to physical attributes, it is that white guys tend to prefer darker women over lighter ones. And fuller lips over less full lips. We also love full asses, by the way. I have personally experienced and enjoyed many shades, from obsidian to café au lait, and many shapes, from Buffy the Body to Venus Williams.
3. In any relationship, educational level is probably one of the more significant determinative factors in choosing a long-term mate or partner. WM/BW relationships are no different. Increased minority collegiate enrollment has been largely female. WM on college campuses tend to be more open minded and creative in their relationship choices, and on campus they are encountering smart, attractive, open-minded BW. Thus, the biggest increase in WM/BW relationships in the past decade or two has been predominantly among college-educated individuals. Some within the black community will say that the mannerisms of an educated BW are somehow more “white” compared to stereotypical urban poor BW mannerisms. I personally don’t subscribe to this dialectic, but even if you do agree with it, the real distinction in WM/BW relationships is typically educational level, not the “whiteness” of her demeanor. By the way, both my wife and I can easily code-switch between the dialect of our youth.
Basically, I think WM are attracted to ALL kinds of bw. Yes more will be attracted to slim women. I am not disputing that, but to say that we need to be an ACCEPTABLE black! She does not know what the hell she is talking about! ALL shades of skin are ACCEPTABLE! I really take umbrage with people who try to play on the alleged insecurities of BW. Every woman on her rejection list was beautiful in one way or another and many, many wm would give their right arms to have them! I often wonder how ww would react if we were to say that bm only find certain ww acceptable or attractive. We all know it is not true. For every 'type' of ww, there are bm who find her attractive and desireable. And it is the same with us! Beauty comes in ALL shades, sizes and shapes. And it is ridiculous to think that wm are only attracted to one 'type' of bw!
Wealth Ideas.....
Mobile homes to millions!
This idea can make you rich, but it won't be overnight. It can be built as large as you like and you will become rich (IF) you stick with it. Many places in America lack affordable housing. I'm sure you all know this. Many people are forced to live with relatives or in places far to small for their family size. Did you know that you can purchase mobile homes from banks and finance companies for a fraction of what houses cost? Well you can. Many mobile homes can be purchase for less than 15.ooo. with 20% down! That equals only 3 thousand dollars! and many can be purchased (distressed) for less than that! You can set up a mobile park and provide much needed shelter to deserving families. The rent will cover your payment and then some. You can easily grow rich with a little persistence. And qualifying for a mobile home is super easy. It's much easier than a house. Usually, you will only need to be over 21, have a job and a small down payment! This is how you get rich from this idea. Simply lease to own to people who desperately want to own a "home" (no, it's not a house, but it sure beats living with relatives!) charge 15% interest, and watch your profits grow every year. and interest rate of 15% will double your money in less than 5 years! To get started, contact banks in your area, and tell them you want to buy distressed mobile homes. Also, contact finance companies and send a letter regarding your business. In a few months, you will be swamped with offers. You can always bring in a partner to start, if you need to. This is a get rich in a few years business so don't expect instant profits. But it is definitely get rich for sure....write me if you need more help....
Home Teaching to Success!
Did you know that Robert Allen, the famous real estate entrepreneur started out his career giving home real estate lessons in his home? Did you know that he was soon grossing more than 10,000 per month teaching others to do what he had learned to do by trial and error? If you have a skill, and need quick money you can easily follow this almost sure path to financial freedom. Many people would love to go a few nights per week and learn a new skill in a comfortable and informal environment. They are intimidated by going to a classroom setting and would love to learn with a few friends around a warm living room, versus a cold sterile class. Write down some subjects you particularly like and then spend a month or two learning them inside out. After you really feel that you are ready, advertise in the paper that you can teach anyone the same subject. Some excellent ideas for this are basic mechanics for women, Real Estate-always good, and always intimidating to many people) learning to save money, investing 101, How to take care of the elderly or small children, or even how to work a computer. Many people even in this day and age know only how to turn one on and that's about it! You can advertise your service for 2 or 3 days per week and by charging just 25.00 per lesson, you can make 50-75.00 per person/per week! So a modest number of people, say 10 will give you 500-750.00 per week!!! and that's just for a few hours of your time! What's really important about this is to chose something you have a total interest in. For me, I would obviously choose black women learning to attract wm, and teaching women to be financially secure and then grow rich. These two subjects really do it for me. I love to see people improve their lives and grow rich, not just in wealth, but in happiness... Always choose a subject that gets you excited, otherwise, the money will not sustain your interest and you will find yourself trying to avoid the classes... If you are not comfortable having people in your home, you can always rent a YMCA room or a college class room. This will also enable you to teach more people if you don't mind giving up the intimacy of a warm living room....
Get a Free HOUSE!!!
Have you ever heard of a law on the books called the adverse possession law? Basically this law says that abandoned property may be taken over by someone who pays the taxes and lives in the home 'adverse to the interest of the owner' What does this mean? I will give you an example. Suppose you take a different way home from work one day, and you see a house that looks totally forgotten. You stop and get out and look more closely at the house. It has weeds everywhere and looks like it has been neglected for a few years. You take down the address and make a trip to the court house to check it out. Turns out it has 6,000 in taxes due and the owner has not be seen in a few years. You turn to a service called www.findtheowner.com and research for the owner or relatives. It appears he has disappeared or passed away. You quickly pay the taxes, and begin to fix up the property. You advertise in the paper that you are selling the house, now you are not really selling the house, but what you are doing is a law requirement for adverse possession. That is giving public notice that you are taking over the house. You clean, paint and repair until the house bears little resemblance to it's former self. You move in and keep the taxes paid. You can even rent it out and keep the profits. but you cannot sell it until the statue of limitations runs out in your state. (this varies by the state) but it also (for most states) includes the time the owner has been gone. This law is so that property which is not being used and is attracting a criminal element can be put back into circulation and the taxes can be paid. Abandoned houses are a mecca for drug dealers, addicts, crime and tax money deficits. Therefore, people are encouraged to take advantage of this law. I know you are wondering what happens if the owner suddenly shows up. Well, first of all, he owes you the tax money and you can refuse to give possession back until the debt is satisfied. Second, if he has been gone for years, what do you think the chances of him suddenly showing up or wanting the property are? Third, simply tell him the property was lost at tax sale. Most people who are gone for years will not question this. They know they cannot expect to not pay property tax and keep their property! This is a real law and it really works! I have a friend who adverse possessed a cute little 3 bedroom home a few years ago. She fixed it up and has been happily living there with her kids ever since. While many single moms on her street are struggling to pay their rent/mortgage, she lives happily free and saves a fortune on monthly costs! She's ecstatic that I gave her this idea a few years ago, and estimates that she has saved about 40,000 in housing costs in the last 5 years! You can easily look this law up at your library, or Google adverse possession and buy a book on the subject to guide you- good luck and write me if you need help at: asktaylor1991@yahoo.com
Beauty tips for the ladies...
For oily skin:
Lemon is a natural astringent and exfoliate. It's perfect for oily skin and all natural. To make oily tired skin look fresh and dewy try this:
2 teaspoons lemon pulp 2. teaspoons honey 2. teaspoons water and 2 drops eucalyptus oil or jojoba oil (optional)
and 4 tablespoons of clay (health clay avail. at health food stores) mix the ingredients and apply to face for 15-20 minutes. Rinse with warm water and pat gently. You can also simply use equal parts lemon juice and water for a cheaper version of this...
Skin tips:
Make up should be very light during the day, remember that less is more. Keep your skin clean and try to use 'natural make up, (like bare minerals ). Apply a translucent powder to set your makeup and give you a natural flawless look. For extra glamour in the evenings, you can apply false eyelashes and darker lip stick. But like I always say, the number one beauty tip is to be in shape! Nothing will make a woman feel sexier and prettier than being in shape.
Hair tip:
For those of you who wear weaves, and suffer from breaking hair, try this. Vary the style of your weave and don't overstress the hair by wearing the same style repeatedly without break. Keep your hair clean, and spray a moisturizer on in under your weave. This will keep it from drying out and breaking. This will also cause growth to improve.... Thank y'all for tuning in, see you next post....
posted by Taylor-Sara @ 9:31 PM
80 Comments
80 Comments:
Accoding to the Author, these lovely women would all be rejects on a WM's attractiveness scale
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according to this white man, the Author is out of his ####ing mind. the first babe is hot beyond belief.
Hi Sara ,I've read what she said months ago and thought to myself she must not read your blog or Evia's .I know that she is a black woman but not sure if she believe's in bw/wm relationships ,I understand your feelings in this because you know differently .I believe that she believe all that she says is true because openly wm rarely express their love and passion for bw publically or the media shows it like Heidi /Seal type of relationships.I believe that she has bought into the hype that wm or not interested or have not shown interest in her , the most vicious racist mean evil spirited wm are loud and proud on the internet claiming to speak for all wm and saying that bw are undesireable to them ,this is how I found your website and circle ,a wm racist ranting about bw and someone posting a link to this site showing all the famous wm/bw relationships ,I was pleasantly surprised ,but if you read some of the postings on a variety of websites their is allways some nonblack racist who feels the need to put bw or bp in general down on looks, morals ,behavior, or crime { I would never post a video of my love ones on Youtube} and that sends the message that bw are not worthy . The biggest issue is that bw are seen as outspoken and loud and their is hardley a man alive who want to be turned down so if he is attracted to a bw he may feel imtimidated to ask her out but still have that attraction also to many anti wm bw sends out the message to wm that their love is unwanted ,this is a link to Sandra Rose where some of the bw were mad because she posted pictures of David Beckham _http://sandrarose.com/2008/06/19/morning-wood-david-beckham-by-request/ _saying that they don't like wm ,now imagine if your a wm reading this and believe me wm and ww read our blogs ,would you ask a bw out after reading that in the comment section .All bw are judged by the comments made by the bw on that site by nonblacks and it hurts bw who are expanding their dating options because wm will in my opinion act like they are not interested in them either .Attraction is personal with all people as a man I know that if you start talking women you will get into a big argument over whose's the hottest bw ,ww ,etc because we all have different taste and it's not all Aryan looking either Caroline Chikezie is in MY OPINION one of the most beautiful women in the world .take care and tell your sisters who don't like wm to stop c*ck blocking you .....Bougie
What blog did you first read this comment about certain bw being acceptable and others not?
Thanks =)
olivia, it's on a blog called abagond 500 words per day or less....
bougie, I looked again and again and could not find anything on sandrarose about David Beckham. I just wanted to read for myself because he is sooooo freaking hot! I wanted to see if they could really bring themselves to say he wasn't. Does anyone have a link this sandrarose with David Beckham on it?
Abagond is a man. He has some very interesting posts, but I do didn't agree with him. It depends on the white man himself. I have noticed that there seems to be a pity party for black women, they can't get a decent bm, or only certain wm would like them, they are least likely to marriage, yada yada yah. It has become all so boring and predictable. Black women have to learn to love themselves and get themselves looking good, eat better, more vegetables, more protein, fish oil, evening primrose etc and think themselves beautiful. Surround themselves with pictures of beautiful black women like themselves. Keep themselves fit and healthy, groom themselves and don't worry what anyone says, Esther and Ruth were all groomed. Love their natural hair and don't like anyone call it 'nappy'. It is the finest wool, once they change their mindset, they will see how many men will run after them.
Did someone say David Beckham..lol
Sara here is the link to the discussion on sandra rose. I read post the morning it went up and I thought I was going to have a conniption..lol. This business about "pink penises" is straight ignorant. These women better wake up and smell the hotness.
http://sandrarose.com/2008/06/19/morning-wood-david-beckham-by-request/
This woman is so off base - 500 words wasted that day IMHO! Words have power and can impact so do not waste time on pointless rambling. What was the point of the post? Guess Sara spoils us here - her posts always have a point and serve a purpose - which agree or disagree is always clear. There are as many things that attract a man to a woman as there are fish in the sea. When it comes down to it a man is a man and a woman is a woman - biology trumps color every time. While the physical attributes and the potential combinations are infinite trigger the initial attraction the content of character and personality which determine the complexity and context of the relationship established by the individuals involved are what keeps the man involved. Generalizations are the shorthand of life, to get the real deal - you have to deal one on one because to every generalization there is an exception. As Granny always said there is a lid for every pot. Externals are what attract - the substance is what makes it stick. People may forget the externals - looks,etc. but they do not forget how they felt. Personally it's how the person feels in any given situation that determines what happens - if it feels positive, uplifting etc. then the options are infinite. Most of the comments were positive though there were a few folks that had negative comments, along with a few, funny, off color, off the wall, off the cuff over the top comments - such is life in the blog o'sphere situation normal on Sandra Rose. That is why the rainbow has many colors - there is a flavor for everyone and not every flavor is to everyone's taste. It is doubtful that a man interested in a woman will pay attention to what folks on a blog say - if a man lives his life and bases his actions on what is read on a blog then he has other issues. Personally eye candy is eye candy and to each their own tastes - checking out the visuals however is almost always fun :)
V/r
Clarice
http://sandrarose.com/2008/06/19/morning-wood-david-beckham-by-request/ Bougie
I thought that all of the BWWM couple pics shown on a variety of blogs (Sara, Evia, Halima, Pinky and Myself to name only a few)would have broken thru that sterotype...
Consequently, I have found the nitpicky discrimination to be within my own race i.e., light skin, long hair ...
"...the most vicious racist mean evil spirited wm are loud and proud on the internet claiming to speak for all wm and saying that bw are undesireable to them..."
________________________________
My question is, if they find bw to be so undesirable then why do they bother to waste their time talking about us at all? Oh please, wm such as those are truly full of s**t plain and simple.
hbc - I totally agree. My opinion of racist wm who spout off about the supposed undesirability of bw, is probably b/c they have found themselves attracted to bw on more than one occasion, and felt ashamed due to their racist ideals. Kinda similar to how the loudest critics of homosexuality, tend to be homosexual themselves.
As for what wm like, or the overall desirability of bw. I strongly believe that people who dismiss the beauty of bw without a second thought, reveal their internalized racism. Not that all people should find all bw beautiful, but to dismiss a whole racial group, shows that you did not give it much thought. And to define it down to a science like this above poster, kinda reveals an even uglier human trait in refusing to acknowledge your own pathologies. Most people would rather fight for what they believe to the bitter end, even when the hypocrisy of it is made apparent, rather than admit they made a mistake.
@Sara - The wealth tips are awesome...as usual. I absolutely love that about this blog...in addition to other things.
I remember a while back Evia did a piece on Colorization within the bc and if it had any effect on how wm viewed bw based on beauty.
When she asked her husband I think he said something like black is black. Rather you're light, dark or in between its all the same. Things like confidence, appearance, education, social compatibility etc is taken into account first and foremost (for most men).
I'm sure there are some who may only aim for a certain woman with certain features but the majority of them don't. Opposites do attract!
the woman's/man's post made no sense. even if white men do go for a "certain" look, why do they care? Do you, don't worry about anyone else.
Another case in point is if white men can only name Halle and Beyonce don't you think it's because that's the only type of women they see who get a lot of media coverage? even i would name those two first, big deal!
and trust that white men don't go chasing around light skin women or just dark skin women, white people see black people as black,they couldn't give a damn how dark or light you are period(correct me if im wrong). Look at what they're doing with Barack.
if anything this person is color struck and has their own issue. whenever someone brings up questions like that they are worried about their own insecurities.
overall this person's post was just all over the place w/ no point to it.
I have heard men discuss what is called "the dude code" and it entails that; a hot chick(using the term they use), is a hot chick and no matter what her race may be. A man of any race would see her and want to "be with her" given the oportunity, unless he were a hardcore racist(in other words, insane).
Honestly,I have heard this argument from men of different races.
Just like Clarice mentioned, it is just plain human nature. So, I don't know what some of these negative bw haters and self-hating bw are talking about.
http://sandrarose.com/2008/06/19/morning-wood-david-beckham-by-request/ Bougie
_____________________________
Bougie,
Thanks for the link it was very interesting to read all of the comments, especially the negative ones. All I can say is that, everyone is entitled to their own opinions and perceptions. What else can you really say? I dunno.
Peace.
Some of us really need to hold a mirror up to ourselves because we can be just as racist; of course, we do not think we are.
I was speaking with a ww classmate of mines today and she was telling me how these older, creole/bm about 4 of them were chasing after her...she(early 50s) was one of the waitresses. Am assuming the men were middle class at least.
As she tells her story the men were really enjoying their time with her. And, I told her if she was a 30ish bw they probably would not have been so eager to pursue her (I did not mention the dark skin part). And, this is New Orleans where so many ppl. still segregrate themselves when it comes to socializing. There are still some fair or lightr tone bp who prefer to date someone who looks like them. Of course, one must be very careful not to let that knowledge out. And, what is worst letting people know that you do not have a problem or at least a big issue with ir dating. Some will slowly ignore you...until you realized what is going on. Still, I stand by my opinion that there is nothing wrong with bw dating/ marrying interracially. As Evita says, "You can dry up or die alone"...ladies there is no need for the last sentence.
Have a good evening.
a.f.
Check this out Chris Evans is dating Naomie Harris you should read some of the comments by the ww over there ,he's considered one of the hottest actors in hollywood and she hold's here own in the acting and looks department but some people are very uncomfortable about them dating .......here's two
that made me laugh
posted by Dawn There is no way he is dating that Naomie girl.posted 33 days ago
posted by Smilez is he really dating naomie harris?posted 37 days ago
http://www.whosdatedwho.com/celebrities/people/dating/chris-evans.htm
It makes you think how many wm are bound by peer pressure to not date bw when they do like them ,I remember Jim Carey saying on The Stern Show that he loves bw ,I don't think he ever dated one ,Steve Mcqueen carried on a secret relationship with Mary Wilson from the Supremes and I know my father use to talk about wm secretly tipping with bw when he was growing up in Mississippi in the 40-50's in fact ww wouldn't allow any bw work in their house if she thought they were hot,esspecially if she wanted to keep her husband faithful or had son's in the house ,Strom Thurmond comes to mind in that case ,a 20 something man having sex with a 15 year black girl.
HBC said Oh please, wm such as those are truly full of s**t plain and simple.
A wm friend of mine who is racist [don't ask why he's a friend] talked about how he didn't find bw attractive told me latter how he dated and would have married a bw years latter ,didn't gloat or call him out ,not my personality ,but did think to myself what an as*hole.
EmergingPhoenix said... hbc - I totally agree. My opinion of racist wm who spout off about the supposed undesirability of bw, is probably b/c they have found themselves attracted to bw on more than one occasion, and felt ashamed due to their racist ideals. Kinda similar to how the loudest critics of homosexuality, tend to be homosexual themselves
Here's a link that proves your piont entirely ,a skinhead impregnants a bw on Youtube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-beEQaqZccI
Bougie ....Your welcome HBC
Hey Sara, I've been a long time reader of your blog and I must say that I truly enjoy it. You are an inspiration to black women. I've also been reading Abagonds blog to and just to clear things up, Abagond is a man. He post alot of topics about how much he loves black women ( go back and check out some of his older post), but I think he's jealous of the fact that black women have begun freeing themselves from the strains of the black community and opening up their options. Some of his post are interesting and I enjoy reading them. There was one post that he posted not too long ago that discussed the eyes of black and white women. He went on to say that black women have the most beautiful eyes because you can see down deep into their soul. On the other hand, he said that a white womans eyes were plain souless. That caused an uproar.
http://sandrarose.com/2008/06/19/morning-wood-david-beckham-by-request/ Bougie
_____________________________
Bougie,
Thanks for the link it was very interesting to read all of the comments, especially the negative ones. All I can say is that, everyone is entitled to their own opinions and perceptions. What else can you really say? I dunno.
Unfortunately I couldn't pull up the page. However I do frequent that site and the only thing I'll say is this:
Do you ever see the men that those readers consider fine? I'm gonna put my neck out there and say that I believe quite a few of her audience is probably gay bm. She promotes quite a LOT of gay events in the Atlanta area.
Anyway some of the "Morning Wood" submissions either looks sweeter than a pot of rainbows or thugged out. I wouldn't put a lot of cred in those comments.
David Beckham is a SURE HOTTIE in my book. And when you add that British accent of his..... that makes him even MORE HOTTER!
I read Agabond's blog and he is one of the few black men online that loves and praises black women in his blog. Go back and read his other posts. Yes he was a little off base with this particular post that you singled out. He is not a white man and does not know all the white men that exist in the world and what kind of black women they like
here's some pics of chris evans and namoi harris. i don't know if these pics are their official "this is my date" pics
http://www.whosdatedwho.com/celebrities/couples/profile/chris-evans-and-naomie-harris.htm
i always thought chris evans was cute.
I read Agabond's blog and he is one of the few black men online that loves and praises black women in his blog. Go back and read his other posts. Yes he was a little off base with this particular post that you singled out. He is not a white man and does not know all the white men that exist in the world and what kind of black women they like
As far as someone confirming that this clown is a bm well I'm not surprised at all. Only a bm would be arrogant enough to speak for a whole race of people.
Just because he seems to love his "black queens" or showers bw with praises doesn't make his ridiculous opinions any less harmful or hateful. As a matter of fact it makes them that MORE damaging. Living up to the scavenger traits that bm seem to possess so well was the first clue of who wrote this crap. Praying on the insecurities of women is their Modus Operandi. Of all the things to blog about concerning bw and IRR he chose to continue to perpetuate the myths concerning the already shaky and widely misunderstood relationship between a wm and bw.
If he wanted to use his "powers for good", why did he have to go so negative? Especially when he didn't have any substantial evidence to back up all this coonery!
This guy is no different than an attractive serial killer asking to help bring in your groceries...
Agabond transferred black men's colorism mistakingly onto wm. A lot of black men are ignorant about wm's tastes and are quite shocked when they see wm with darker bw and/or bw wearing their natural hair-attributes that are denigrated in too many black communities.
Men in general would break their necks when it comes to Toccara. She has the face and full hour glass body that stops traffic.
"cutest celebrity kids"
This in an ABCNews site. It sends a message only ww can birth or raise cute children. They are no longer discreet about their removal of bw from mainstream media.
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/popup?id=4115670&contentIndex=1&page=2&start=false
selena, I could not agree more! All I can say is how can a bm speak for WM??? That does not make any sense! I could see if he had taken a poll to ask wm what they thought, but to assume these ridiculous beleifs and then put them out there as if they had been validated by the highest authority-thats nerve! He knew exactly what he was doing, playing on the insecurities of many bw, and indirectly indicating to bw, 'you have no choice but to stay with bm, very few of you fit the narrow parameters of beauty according to wm!" This is such bull! and I am going to dispell this garbage, and let bw know their options are wide open-and to NEVER SETTLE, because we never need to! Even if you are not half as beautiful as tocarra, there are still plenty of good men who will consider you to be, and who will want to be with you and make you their WIFE, instead of their booty call. You simply must pick the right man....
"He knew exactly what he was doing, playing on the insecurities of many bw, and indirectly indicating to bw, 'you have no choice but to stay with bm, very few of you fit the narrow parameters of beauty according to wm!"
_______________________________
Sara,
I have heard bw on other blogs saying the same things regarding the kind of bw, wm find attractive. It had gotten so bad once, I had to intervene because I couldn't understand why these bw were making these negative and untrue statements. I know a lot of them frequent yours and all the other irr blogs and they have definitely seen the photos of bw with wm on them. Most of these bw look like your average bw(not Halle Berry or Beyonce). So, I really didn't know what their motives were for saying the things they did and I still don't.
I am sometimes disappointed by the way we view ourselves and one another, it can be really scary to me at times.
That kind of hurt my feelings. I may not look like any of those women, but I still get men of all races approaching me, especially asian men. Go figure.
Ok let's see...
I'll drop the name of the darkest sister you could find out there :
ALEK WEK, her man is white. That ALONE should dismiss all that this man said about what kinda BW a WM would date.
Then you have :
- Iman and David Bowie
- Garcelle Beauvais and husband
- Naomie Harris and Chris Evans
- Kerry Washington dated a white guy
- Alfre Woodward's husband is white
- Halle and Gabby, yeah I count her cause she doesn't look like a "stereotypical mixed child"
- Venus Williams is engaged to a white man
- Serena Williams DID date white
- Whoopi Goldberg, ENOUGH SAID!
- DeNiro's wife, hello!
The list goes on, and I'm only speaking of celebs because they're visible. This blog is FULL of pics of black women of different shades! From very dark to very light.
I BELIEVE, since it's a BM, that he doesn't have the best intentions. Since he "loves his nubian queens", he doesn't WANT to see BW with non-BM, I mean BM who hate us don't even want to see us with one let alone those who want us. This man KNOWS he's lying, this is one of the many lies we hear in the BC, just like "WM won't marry you they just wanna sex you", well the majority of BM sex BW but don't marry BW, so who's really using who now?
And to the BW who still believe those things : YOU have been indoctrinated, brainwashed and Punk'd. OPEN YOUR EYES, WAKE UP!!!!
SELENA and SARA, I totally agree.
I'll even say something worse : he thinks WM who date black feel that way because he probably FEELS that way about BW. This is probably a reflection of his own issues. The few BM I know who tell you they love BW only find the kind of BW he described as attractive. I've heard more non-BM praise Lauryn Hill's beauty than BM.
"And to the BW who still believe those things : YOU have been indoctrinated, brainwashed and Punk'd. OPEN YOUR EYES, WAKE UP!!!!"
RIGHT ON!!!
Waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out w/ a camera crew~! I am just glad a pic speaks 1000 words...And anyone who has been on these blogs KNOWS who really discriminates most against dark-skinned BW...
Why are you guys putting so much energy and emotion into what kind of black women that white men prefer? It sounds kind of desperate and pathetic. I dont give it that much thought. Not a good look.
Anon, nobody is worried about wm only preferring a certain 'type' of bw. LOL, we can all see that wm who like bw don't really seem to give a damn about color, hair, etc. We are a little peeved because for him to put that out there, he should have VERIFIED it in some way. Instead he threw out misrepresented statements that will throw many bw (certainly not me, but many) back into their fear-filled void of feeling that they must stay with BM. As for him being a wm, who says so? Most people are saying he is a BM....
Dear Author
You and your sellout black women ilk make me sick. Once again another blog kissing the white man's toes. That is why your proud to "date several white men'. Getting passed around with no commitment by white men but I know for a fact you won't talk about. Then you promote this image of a white man sweeping "Tameka" away to a suburban white neighborhood where she can fit in with the "white soccer moms". Your pathetic just like your sellout readers that bow their head for a white man.
Then on top of that you got the nerve to bash black men. A white man spits in your face you ignore it or do not say anything. I guess your trying conform to society so a "potential" white man does not see you 'angry" or whatever stereotypes they promote.
Keep "dancing and showing your teeth for a white boyfriend" Then maybe one will pat you on the head and commit to you.
Sincerely
Mr Laurelton Queens
That is sooooo funny! Because just like a typical bm you are making so many assumptions of which you have no knowledge of. I have never been passed around by anyone! The only bad marriage I have had has been to a BM, and he was the one who was uncommitted even though we were married. He was also abusive, misogynistic and self hating. But he probably would have been no matter what color he was, he just happened to be black. Trust me, since that time I learned how to get a good, loving committed man regardless of his race, and that's what I am teaching my readers. I really do not give a damn how much of a problem you or your fellow bm have with it. You see, I am NOT a mammy! A bm's issues don't mean a damn thing to me. You have the nerve to come here and try to inflict guilt and shame on my readers, but I'll bet a millon dollars that you have never gone to the black men's board where they demean, disrespect and slander bw all day, and lecture them! Because it does not matter to people like you how bad bw are treated, how bm use them, sully our their image, abandom them along with their children, as usual we are supposed to stay 'true' to the 'brothers'. Well I for one am going to do everything in my power to wake bw up and let them know, that you never pledge alliance to any man who does not have your back, and has made it clear that you are NOT his priority. There is a 70% single rate for bw! Which bm find hilarious as they wine and dine their ww. They giggle about it over cocktails along with thier white wives. They laugh about how stupid bw to keep on loving them no matter how they dog them.(this I have heard my own family members laugh abut this with their friends) They laugh about the 'old hope' bw have that they are coming home, because they know they never will. And you know it to. But you (like most bm) want to keep bw in the dark so they can continue to be easy prey for bm. So bm can always come back when he needs them or get easy money, sex, help with legal situations. YOU MAKE ME SICK! I'm sure you see the constant manipulation of bw and how they are constantly lied to, used and manipulated into waiting for bm who are never coming.... But you don't care-do you? Let me give you a quarter so you call someone who gives a damn what bm want! My concern is for bw! I want them to have good lives, good husbands, and good futures. I want their babies to have FATHERS! I want them to continue to grow and make world progress, start businesses and make great strides in this short life. My agenda is on the betterment of my sisters. I know you are used to bw who take great pains not to step on bm's fagile ego, but not this one. I don't give a damn what you or any other brother thinks so perhaps you should just move on to a more accomodating bw. Try 1800-go-mammy. I think they can help you....
For those who think this blogs participants are sellouts, desperate, pathetic and putting energy where we ought not...Why even dignify us with your presence...
See when irrelevant parties come on scene and start that junk, we must ask ourselves some questions...And most BW here already know the answers!
Listen to the trolls ladies as they come out of the woodwork... Can you hear the fear in their voices?
to andrew... i hope your preaching this same lecture to bm who date ww.
till then, im enjoying my collection of pics of jason momoa,paul walker, & steven strait, and recieving compliments from my wm friends on how attractive i am, which i NEVER hear from bm.
sara i want you to know that your message is spreading like wildfire i know plenty of bw who are finally opening up, and i to am spreading the word, not just to bw but to wm also & to anyone who listens to me.i make sure whenever we talk about relationships, interracial ones will come up by me.
good for you girl, You know good and well, he's not telling bm what to do. If anything, he's probably giving them a high five. I swear some people are sooooo hypocritical! I could not care what they say, I'm living to make sara happy and nobody runs my life but me... And I do have a fabulous life that I want all sistas to enjoy....
Same old strategies. But none of these cats point fingers at Wesley Snipes, Tiger Woods, Dave Chapelle, Sydney Poitier, Taye Diggs, Quincy, and the list goes on...So many of us have known that for-the-cause bro who claimed "black ppl should stick together, whites are the enemy, NO IRR / black men for black women", a month later you see him flaunting his blonde girl. I see that all the time. The reason so very few bw are in IRR isn't because non-bm don't desire us, it is because we've been exclusive and have often rejected non-blacks. I've been wooed by mostly asians, whites, arabs, and indians all my life, I'm the one who used to reject them. These days are over.
Keep doing your thing Sara!
The reason so very few bw are in IRR isn't because non-bm don't desire us, it is because we've been exclusive and have often rejected non-blacks. I've been wooed by mostly asians, whites, arabs, and indians all my life, I'm the one who used to reject them. These days are over.
Listen in and wake up my Sisters!
Real Talk!!
Andrew said...
I read your tirade in it's full entirety. It is still simply amazing you believe "white men" walk on water. For the record I go to Black boards with black men stating their opinions and I do not see half the comments that are negative here and on other sellout black women blogs.
Telling It Like It Is says...
You're a liar if you claim you don't see tirades against black women from black men day in and day out on these black boards.
And for the record, the ones selling themselves out (and short) are those black women refusing to respect themselves enough to focus on men who show positive interest in them regardless of what race/ethnicity they belong to.
You mention "mammys' considering black women before the civil rights movement and after had to be mammy's for employment. So you twisting that phrase makes you a traitor as well as a sellout.
Everyone knows the term "mammy" these days refers to a a black woman who sacrifices her health, sanity, and life for the betterment of the black community/those outside herself. Only black women have been conditioned to behave in this way to their detriment. The only thing twisted is a black woman in 2008 honestly feeing she has to play out this thankless role.
If 70 percent of black women are single , black men are to blame for that?
Black women only have themselves to blame for being single today. Every single nice and intelligent black woman interested in a loving committed relationship can have one if they give up this foolish nothing but a "brother" mentality. Black women have to start taking their lives and futures in their hands and stop blaming black men for their relationship status.
Maybe it has something to do with yourself and your ilk. Never mention other races of men "not dating" black women which adds to that percentage. The rate is so high it is a shame.
The only thing that's a shame is black women continuing to refuse good white, asian, and hispanic men who show genuine and respectable interest. The good thing is more are accepting these good men who are worthy of them.
There is a reason why CW's book flopped and "something new" flopped. You forcing yourself on white men as a "end all" makes you pathetic and desperate. Giving the impression that the "mighty white men" will rescue them from foreclosures, limited income and companionship.
What's pathetic is black women thinking black men are the "end all" and "mighty" when they've continually been let down by this colorist and often down right hateful (at least towards black women) population.
You also mention that black women get exploited. That is funny the people that own the media is not black men not even BET is owned by a black man.
That's the old "we don't bring guns into the country" spiel. WHO'S PULLING THE TRIGGER? Who's calling black women and girls Bitch and Ho day in and day out for the world to see? Damaged black men. And some black men wonder why people have such a negative impression of them...
Yet you do not complain about being treated like a mammy from "those people". it is quite amusing to see sellout black women complain about their "images" on tv yet kissing the white man's toes.
ARE YOU INSANE? Black women bloggers are continually calling out BET and others (white, black, and other) on their vile attacks on black women. Have you been under a rock?
And kissing toes?WTF Isn't that the pot calling the skillet black?lol Black men the world over are NOTORIOUS for kissing white women's ASSES. Forget about toes.
I guess it's easier to bash black men instead.
No, it's just easier to tell the TRUTH.
Perhaps your more scared that you won't get a white man's approval so you continue to shuffle your feet and dance.
Well keep dancing because I don't dance nor have I dated a white woman.
LOL Like someone here cares...SMH
Professional black men think your a boot licker plain and simple.
Professional (and non) black women with brains think you and your ilk are boot AND white a** kissers plain and simple.
Good day to you
Sincerely
Telling It Like It IS
Thank you telling it like it is, I just did not have the energy to talk to this troll anymore. But you said it all better than I could have anyway....
Telling It Like It IS,
You pretty much said it all, there's no need to add anything else. Good for you.
Trolls are cowards who angrily sit in their tiny cubicles all day long, seething about every percieved wrong done to them...Welcome to LaureltonLand..a bitter ugly place where no one cares to visit.
The end.
A change in language can lead to a change in perception and reality...ok..so it's July 4th, and I am a wee bit drunk, but hear me out.....stop referring to BM you don't know as "brothers." A brother is one you share DNA with. If you do not share DNA with a man, then he is NOT your brother, and you should have no special allegiance to him...it really is that simple...once you change that initial language you may be accustomed to using, then the actions/ words of a stranger have no impact on your life. Treat all people as strangers (politely, kindly, remotely) until they give you good reasons to change them out of that category...I fervently dislike referring to BM as "brothers" because it has an incestual connotation to me. Do you ever hear any other group of women refer to men of their particular racial group as "brothers?"...a resounding NO...Stop being so overly concerned with the words and actions of strange, unknown random men, who are most assuredly NOT your brothers.
Delmish,
I totally agree. I also hate it when bm call me "sista". Really, who are they kidding.
___________________________________
@Laurelton
I want to respond to your assertion that bw on this and other irr blogs are "licking and kissing the white man's toes."
It is absolutely embarassing the way bm worship and put ww on a pedestal. I believe that bm worship ww more than the men in their own race(wm). Bm worship ww so much they will date any ww available, no matter what she looks like(overweight, ugly, missing limbs and even ww the dwarfism).
In terms of ww/bm couples, believe me, I have seen it all.
I knew two ww whom I considered to be friends once. One was quite overweight and not much to look at and the other was almost twenty years older than me(I'm 32). Both of these women, said that bm were the only men that would date them, because the men in their own race thought they were either too unattractive or too old. It seems that, bm serve as last resorts for ww when they can't get wm. Bm seem all too happy to be with these women and I wouldn't be surprised if these ww told them the same thing they told me about why the dated bm. I don't believe it would have mattered to them at all, because most bm are beyond desperate to be with ww.
I also want to add that, these ww only talked about "the myth of bm's sexual prowess" it was as if that was all they were worth to them. Pathetic.
Sara,
Read an archive or two. He explictly states he is melanin-challenged. (White)
THANK YOU for everything you said Delishmish!
It will truly free a lot of black women if they simply stop this unnecessary and untrue language.
Like you said, if you don't share DNA with a man and your mother didn't give birth to him, HE AIN'T YOUR BROTHER.
Change your language, change your thinking, change the way you relate, change your LIFE.
Felicia
Nelo said: Read an archive or two. He explictly states he is melanin-challenged. (White)
Have you ever thought that he may be a very light skinned black man? Duh
You have to wonder how he knows bw are being used by wm. Could it be that he is having these conversations with wm, who are disparaging bw. I wonder if he would say something to that wm. Or worse, is he teaching wm that they can and should take advantage of bw. This is the hugest defamation to our image, that I have seen bm (and others) do when in the presence of wm or mixed groups. This is why I definitely think sites like this send a different message, than these worthless bm are spreading in the boys room. In addition, I think it is very important that if you want a serious relationship that you take the time to really evaluate a man and his intentions...unless u ARE just looking for a hook-up...
"It is absolutely embarassing the way bm worship and put ww on a pedestal. I believe that bm worship ww more than the men in their own race(wm). Bm worship ww so much they will date any ww available, no matter what she looks like(overweight, ugly, missing limbs and even ww the dwarfism)."
Okay, that's a bit harsh. White chicks with missing limbs and those sufferring from dwarfism still deserve love too. Might as well be with a black man.
As for that mentally challenged poster(Laurelton Queens), dude, do you still exist? All these rants you post all over the place, do you never get tired? Give it a rest.
YOU....ARE....SUCH....A....LOSER!!!
Okay, I'm looking at the pictures of these 3 women posted above, and even as a straight bw, I can see that all 3 women are slammin hot! And there's not a man alive who wouldn't think that about all 3 of these women, whether or not these women are the particular "type" of woman that an individual guy would date. I don't care if Abagond is a man, a woman or transgendered, black, white, asian, hispanic or otherwise, s/he is dead wrong in her/his assessment, and I think even Abagond knows that. I wonder why his/her true agenda for posting was.
@hbc & everyone else : )
"...Delmish,
I totally agree. I also hate it when bm call me "sista". Really, who are they kidding."
It's usually before these factions try to stick there hand (or other parts) out to ask you for something...Testing the proverbial waters...When i hear "sista" my guard goes up...It's a very subtle psychological tactic called "forced teaming"...Gavin DeBecker explains this in his writing "The Gift of Fear"...
BTW...Halima also discusses some of this in her latest blog:
http://dateawhiteguy.blogspot.com/2008/06/why-are-black-women-feeling-betrayed.html
Frankly, it doesn't matter WHAT race he is - he doesn't speak for all men of that race.
Insightful post Sara. I have to agree with the wm who commented, if we want to make generalization's about what wm normally go for it does seem that the darker the berry the sweeter the juice suits alot of wm well, and who's to say that the one's who do choose the lighter bw are doing it to get approvals from their parents, or not. What people don't realize is love is love. Also I like your wealth and hair tips, etc. Might I add, since I oh so love the weaves, that some sista's use febreeze to spray on the tracks that will meet the braids for freshness as well, along with keeping a moisturizer to aid in growth. And if you really want quick, yet healthy results while wearing weave, do not put a perm in your hair, and this is for sista's who want to wear a weave consistently, you will be amazed how fast and thick your hair will grow; please no glue that will break the hair for most of us. Most of the female's I know wear weave like me and their hair is either shoulder length like mines(and still growing) or longer. To the ladies with their money right may want to check out Valencia.com, look at how long infusion's are growing those sista's hair, when my money is right I will definitely make a travel date to go to her and get me some done(no matter how long my hair is already). Just extra tips to my sista's who are addicted to many styles.
Sorry Sara but i strongly agree with that author. i read the blog and believe you misunderstood what she was saying.
you agreed with her about the colour thing... colour doesnt really matter. but i have it on VERY good authority from my white male friends that facial features DO matter. she was not saying no white man would find them attractive. she was merely pointing out that most would not.
white men do like 'beautiful' features on women like a straight nose. look at your own side bar to prove it. the women come in all shades but 'most' have white looking features.
do not accuse people of talking rubbish merely because they disagree with u.
And You last Anon, are talking absolutely CRAZY! very few of the women on my sidebar have white features-are you drinking as you write? Also, 2 of the women in the pictures up top are very sought after models (bria and Tocarra and if you think most men would not find them extremely attractive, then you obviously need glasses! Also, number 3, You obviously misunderstood a few things yourself or you would know by the author is a MALE!!! What we can all easily see is that the Author is biased and blind, and apparently so are you!
uh oh the trolls are coming out in a bus called FEAR!!! That's usually whne they bark the loudest!!
Excuse me but this anonymous person is smoking something, most of the women in this blog have european features? What's next, most of them wear blue contacts? And the women that I know who date or are married to non-black men are brown to dark with round noses, full lips, I HAVE those features myself and as I previously said I've been wooed by mostly non-blacks. I guess some people just choose to see what they wanna see.
I'm a little afraid to say it because I see what happened to the last anon (maybe it was the way she phrased it though that was off-putting?)but even though I'm not disputing the wide variety of bw with wm in your sidebar, l have to say it surprised me because it has also not been my experience for wm to be so open to such a wide variety of bw. I too have noticed/seen that while wm will go for both lighter and darker skinned bw (although curiously I have never seen them go for an EXTREMELY dark bw outside of Big Mo and maybe one other couple on this blog) they are almost always the types with petite, feminine features like a small nose and full but not too big lips, the type with features like Beyonce, Jessica White, Liya Kedebe, Esther Baxter, etc. So I would agree from what I have seen: color, not very important, but weight and face ARE.I can see why it would bother some women here to hear that though.Again, not trying to start anything but it's true, some of us have heard and seen differently from wm and thus have a different opinion.
last Anon, I understand your concern but look again at the women on the sidebar. How many beyounce looking females do you see? I have females in my fam. ranging from very light (mariah) to extremely dark. and the very dark say that white men/non blk are almost the only men who will approach them! So although I certainly respect your opinion, I have to disagree. (
PS. the other anon just rubbed me the wrong way the way) Everyone here knows they are free to disagree with anything they read here or on any blog-thanks for your thoughts...
If they have petite, feminine features, how does that mean they have "White features". What female then would you say has "Black features"? Also, Liya Kebede for example is Ethiopian and probably more pure than most African Americans. Africans come in very diverse looks. Agbani Darego from Nigeria also has very small features like a staight petite nose and small, yet plump lips. I've seen many Nigerians (like my sister and i) with similar features to these. You don't have to have a wide nose and huge lips to have "Black features". Please people, stop this thinking.
I would agree from what I have seen: color, not very important, but weight and face ARE.I can see why it would bother some women here to hear that though.Again, not trying to start anything but it's true, some of us have heard and seen differently from wm and thus have a different opinion.
Weight and face are important to most men (especially non-black men). God damn what do you want? I have seen white male coworkers say that black women are cute who black men would consider average and consistently the girl was small, dark or brown with a cute face.
Most wm like skinny black women with long straight weaves. I mean just look at the women you posted on your sight. I don't get this whole WM are BW saviors routine
Anon, I certainly do not think wm are saviors, and this I have made clear more than once. However, I do want bw to know that they are a viable option in their quest for a good man... What I don't understand is if you are so turned off by what you read/see on this site, then why are you here???? If this blog irritates you, then by all means find one that is to your taste. I don't go to sites that irritate me, it really does not make much sense....
"What I don't understand is if you are so turned off by what you read/see on this site, then why are you here???? If this blog irritates you, then by all means find one that is to your taste. I don't go to sites that irritate me, it really does not make much sense...."
Sara, I agree 100%
@ Mayday
I was kidding. He's white. Very.
Can you explain what you mean when you say that Brandy has "odd features"? I don't understand what you mean by that. Thank you.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
No, Anon, that was what the Author said! There is nothing wrong with Brandy's features. She is very attractive. That was the point, that's why I said it was bull because he claimed tocarra was too big, bria was too dark and brandy had strange features...
The "new" Toccara that I'm seeing on tv lately (and even to an extent in the picture of her posted above) has slimmed down quite a bit from her time on ANTM. I know she has twice been on that celebrity weight loss show with Dr. Ian and she has really lost a lot of weight. She still isn't as skinny as a "regular" model (she'd still be regarded as a plus-sized model since size 8 and up are all regarded as plus-sized in the modeling world), but she looks more like a regular weight woman now. Toccara is hot (I wouldn't mind looking like her) by any standards!
I can tell you right now, a wm who favors pale skin, long straight hair, thin features, etc, is going to go out with (drum roll, please ..) WW!
Also bear in mind, wm are not 'color-struck' as I've seen it referred to on these sites, except maybe in reverse. A wm who is attracted to the different energy that bw possess is generally going to feel like more is better, and be more attracted to the darker sisters. And will prefer natural hair. That's what I've seen and that's how I see it myself. (my fave is Bria)
Hey Delish, I got my boxcar :)
somehow Arthor, I'm not surprised at all that you favored bria. ha ha
And It's really good to hear from you again. We missed you....
Hi Sara,
I would love for you to start a section devoted to real life couples and how they met, along with their pic.
thanks,
jess
Hi Sara :) I've been around, but the topics have been serious enough lately that it's kept me busy thinking about what I'm reading, or else been about things it's not my place to comment on. But it has been very interesting reading :|
Not to beat a dead horse, but the same Toccara Jones that Abagond says would not appeal to WM is one of the black models featured in the Italian Vogue July 2008 issue that is dedicated to black beauty. The models featured were chosen by the famed (WM) fashion photographer Steven Meisel.
Those women in the side bar look like regular black women and some of them are very attractive.
I think some black people have a stereotypical view of how blacks look. My own features are small. That doesn't make me atypical.
white men do like 'beautiful' features on women like a straight nose. look at your own side bar to prove it. the women come in all shades but 'most' have white looking features.
So then a black women with a wide nose isn't beautiful?
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