Why hate on a sista, you claim not to want!!! + wealth ideas, (scroll down)
Top: Venus and fiance next: Alfre Woodward and hubby.
Below George Lucas with GF Mellody Hobson.
I cannot understand why the women, black men claim they don't want, cause them to go crazy with anger and seething venom, when they are snatched up by white men.I was reading about the reaction to Venus's upcoming marriage. I have posted a few comments below. My question is, why are black men so biased to, and hard on black women?
What is she supposed to do, Not get married because brothers don't think she is worthy! I mean if bm think Venus is ugly (because they are colorstruck and self-hating, not because she actually is) Then what the hell is the problem if she marries someone who has the sense to see that she is very attractive and completely lovable? Are we supposed to live and die alone because bm have made themselves unavailable! I say hell no! I for one have always believed in only giving my time and attention to men who treated me well. If he did not, I removed myself from the situation. I think we have got to stop worrying about what brothers will think about us stepping out of the box, because it's like the little boy with the cookie. He does not want it, but he certainly does not want another little boy to have his cookie! Unfortunately bm often see us the same way. As mere possessions and not living, breathing beings who have legitimate needs. Why else would they dog a girl they don't even consider attractive, because she dared stray toward a white man?
Even some of the women dogged her and called her sell out. (probably in an effort to please the brothas) I say, just because you can't or won't step outside the box don't down me because I choose to live fully. Life is too short to WAIT ON A BROTHA! There are millions of men in this world, plenty enough for every woman to have one. but if you eliminate more than 90% and only focus on the black men what do you think your chances of finding Mr Right will be? You will have a needle in a haystack chance of finding a good man, who is marriage minded, who is not color struck, who is willing to make a commitment, who finds you attractive/desirable and feels that you are the one. Good luck my sista because if black is all that you want, you're chances of finding the right one are down to almost nil!
And wishing harm or malevolent will upon a sista because she is living her life as she sees fit, is ignorance of the highest order. Do we not realize that when we wish something upon others, we drastically increase the chances of bringing that wish our way? I long ago realized this, and that is why I wish ill on no one. I think we need to take a tip from Whoopi, in the color purple when she said: "as you done to me already done to you!"
I think we need to stop allowing sistas who may have something we want to be treated like garbage. We need to realize that no one can stop the good God has for us except for us.There is no need to be jealous of another sista. This only serves to hinder our good. We do this by begrudging a fellow sista her good, her love, her health and her wealth. Most of the mean spirited comments were coming from brothers but bw were calling her sell out, and mannish as well. I think this is just covert jealousy, and hatred. She has a right to fall in love with whomever she falls in love with. And who are we to judge? This is why so many of us are shackled in our problems because we are wishing bad on others and it is coming around to bite us on the ass. When you see a sista who is doing great. Smile and realize that she is showing you the way, not showing you up! When you see someone doing not so well, say a little prayer for them that they may find their way, but also remember the biblical quote: " there but for the grace of God -go I"
George Lucas is being called strange lookin, troll, unattractive and old because his girl looks so young. I believe she is in her forties, but she def. looks in her early 30s and they are furious that he (who looks late 50s -early 60s ) is with her! This is extremely common among bw to look young for a long time. She is still young for him but she is not 30something. And even if she was, I say who's business is it but his and hers. They don't need to justify their relationship to anyone. I think people are really furious because he is mega-rich and she is very dark and pretty. He is not supposed to be attracted to her. She is even being called a gold digger even though she is already a millionaire and does not need his money! Jealously is a very ugly emotion. We must strive to be the best we can be in our lives so that we can avoid this very ugly emotion. Jealously will turn everything in your life upside down and make you feel less than. Sistas if you are suffering from jealously, you must let it go! It will destroy YOU not the other person. Some simple ways to get rid of it is to make a list of all your wonderful qualities/gifts and read it daily. You may also want to thank the universe for all your blessings including your limbs, family and health. Think of all the people in the world who would give their eyeteeth to have your life. two thirds of the world lives on less than 2 dollars per day! We are the richest nation in the world and we don't even appreciate how blessed we are. Instead we tear each other down and make horrible remarks like some of the ones below that were made regarding Venus ( who is actually, a very nice looking, and classy young woman) and Mellody who is lovely, well traveled, rich and elegant, or Alfre who is loving and kind and has a beautiful soul...My question is if bw are not jealous of other bw who step outside the box and live fully-then stop dogging her! And if bm don't care what the hell we do as they claim because we are not what they want anyway, then stop throwing a hissy fit when a white man snatches one of us up! Stop being hypocrites, black men date out at twice the rate we do, so what is the problem? What's good for the goose really is good for the gander....
these are a few of the comments from brothers about the women up top. (who claim they don't care what we do) Live your life ladies because they are going to talk about you like a dog regardless....
1. who cares about this ugly troll (venus)
2. Keep it up Black women!! Breed our race right into extinction!! (venus)
1. who cares about this ugly troll (venus)
2. Keep it up Black women!! Breed our race right into extinction!! (venus)
3. no one cares. please stop posting stuff about her and her gargantuan sister. so glad Jackie left her. (venus)
4. Hope she gets a rock solid prenup. (venus)
5. Alfre is such a sell out b*tch -marrying a white boy! sorry slut!
6. She thinks she's too good anyway, and he would not want her azz if she wasn't pretty (talking about Mel)
7. Alfre is so ugly no one would want her anyway!
(from a sista)
8. Damn, the White Boy movement is making a serious comeback. That being said, I got dibbs on Pete Wentz from Fall Out Boy. I love his eyeliner-wearing emo azz. LOL but seriously, he's sexy as f*ck to me. Do it, Venus.
9. That Damn b*tch is just a sell out anyway, why would she be with a white boy when she could have had a brotha! (talking about Mel with lucas)
11. DAMN SHE COULDN'T MARRY A BROTHA'! AT LEAST HER SISTA' ISN'T COLOR BLIND. (about venus)
(about venus)
12. Somebody needs to love her ugly azz! LOL!
13. it's a shame how some black people can't even embrace their own kind. I guess the only way she can be beautiful is if she lightened her skin and wore a blond weave...no wonder she dates white men. black men are to damn judgemental and full of self-hate. I don't blame her. at least she's happy. (about venus)
I could not agree with number 13 more. It's so sad that we feel the need to put each other down so much. Truly we seem to be our greatest enemy. We should all be happy for this sista instead of tearing into her like pit bulls! What was she supposed to do live the rest of her life alone-so that bm would not feel threatened? What is Mellody supposed to do, pass up a very good man because he's older than her? How ridiculous does that sound! Life is too short to live it for other people -we must live it for ourselves. The way these people are acting is unfortunately the norm. This is a salient sign of low self esteem. When you love yourself, you don't need to put others down this way. Like I said, jealously is a very strong and very damaging emotion. We as a people must learn to love ourselves and then it is so easy to love others and to allow others the freedom to be themselves....
Below are some wealth ideas for the Entrepreneurs....
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Wealth idea #1 (windows to profits)
Here is an idea for those of you who do not personally want to do the work, yet do not mind supervising others. You can have this business up in about 1 month and the benefits are:
No office needed, you can work from home.
No previous experience required (easy to learn)
Work full or part-time
This is needed in EVERY city.
Very low start-up capital needed. (150-400.00
You can pretty easily earn 4-5000 per month with this business if you are willing to work (supervise people.) What you do is this; Place an ad for businesses needing window washing, If you want to build your business really fast go out and meet business owners, talk to them about their dirty windows and leave them your business card. (pass 1000 to have all the business you can handle in 3 months!) Anyway if you don't mind building more slowly, place an ad and when people call, say that you are swamped and that you will call them back when you have someone available. In the meantime, place an employee wanted ad like this:
(Good paying job, no exper. nec. strong, dependable and puncual is a must! call____________ for an interview.
Interview at a public place Mcdonalds is fine. DO NOT LET TOTAL STRANGERS NEAR YOUR HOME! Have them bring proof of ID, citizenship and references. As you all know, I believe in the background check. -however that is totally up to you if you choose to to use it. Once they are hired supply them with basic window cleaning supplies, almost everything you need can be found at the dollar store except for the ladder. (you can have them use a long handled window squeegee instead.) This business will never go out of style because so many people hate doing windows. A very easy way to get all the business you could ever want is to partner with maid services and cross promote. They hate being asked to do windows and would welcome the chance to refer someone else to do them. You on the other hand will constantly be asked for people who will do all the other work and you can recommend the maid services, that you choose to work with. You can charge by the window or by the hour 20-25 .00 per hour or 3-7 .00 per window depending on the size. Or you can have the windows counted and give a flat rate. If your workers do a good job business will EXPLODE because word of mouth will get you more work than you have people to handle. Usually I do not recommend having a DBA with workers but this business will allow you to cover you butt like this; Get a DBA at your county courthouse, use it to open a business acct. Insert the checks and cash from your customers and pay your employees with a business check. C.O.A. > *Cover your ass * -have your employees sign an agreement stating that they will be liable for any damage that they cause to a premise.and that THEY will pay for it. (subtract it from their pay) Give them a copy and keep one on file. Use these tips to look/be more professional.
have them wear matching clothes (like black pants and shirts with co. name and phone# (Google personalized clothing)
use a set-aside phone or answering service to take calls (you can get a answering service for less than 20.00 per month (Google answering service)
Use magnetic signs on your car or make your employees use them when on the job.
Use printed envelopes and invoices ( I use a company I found by just yahooing (cheap printing) I pay about 50 bucks for 1000 very nice envelopes! http://www.personalizedenvelopes.com/
Now it is up to you. You can go on and complain that you hate your job and they do not pay you enough for this bullsh*t. I have news for you THEY NEVER WILL PAY YOU ENOUGH! PEOPLE WHO ARE AFRAID TO STEP OUT INTO RISK MUST ALWAYS SETTLE FOR THE CRUMBS! That is the way it has always been. Ask yourself how much are you going to pay your workers? The answer is "as little as possible" that is just the way it is. You are going to say to yourself "this is America they could have started something of their own, they didn't have the guts, so they must work for me and settle for what I pay and that's the way it is. I can ALWAYS find more workers who will work for peanuts! and you would be right. People are so afraid of doing their own thing, they will settle for peanuts too many times to count. It's not nice but it is LIFE. If you want the best in life, you must give it to yourself: Nobody else will!
This business will probably not make you a millionaire, but it could fairly easily make you 100.000 per year. It definitely works, and the fact that is is a hated job is the beauty of it. It is a service that will never go out of style and it will feed and clothe your family in financial security, warmth and comfort for as long as you choose to work it.
Wealth Idea#2 (driveway mad money)
This is one that should appeal to all you lazy people out there. Because you can earn mad money doing almost nothing.
If your home is located near a busy downtown or college campus, you can earn some mad money this way. In this part of New Jersey parking is terrible. I know of a person who not only rents out her double driveway for 100.00 per month each space =200.00 per month but she has rented 6 spaces near her home from her neighbors (unused spots) for 40-50.00 each and re-rents them for 100.00 each. She gives her renters a little pass signed by her with the date of expiration and they leave it in their front window so the neighbor knows it is one of "her cars" and not to have it towed. she makes 500.00 per month doing absolutely nothing! (except a small sign on her grass saying parking places for rent with phone #.) If your town won't permit the sign, you can use college bulletin boards, Ads or word of mouth. This is just for mad money this will not pay your bills but it sure helps if you just need a little spending money, especially since you are doing absolutely nothing!
Wealth Idea # 3. (Biz Directory:)
Did you know that there are now over 25 million businesses operating out of American homes! Its true, and everyday that figure goes up! More and more we are in the entrepreneurial age. Many home biz owners would love a resource that would enable them to publicize their businesses. And many people are looking for what these businesses offer, and would utilize them if they knew where to locate them and what they offered.
If you cannot think of a business that would be right for you, starting a home resource guidebook could easily be your key to fame (in your town) and definitely your key to fortune.
Start by picking a name. Something like 'Temple's truest bargains ' or ' Phenomenal Philly savings' You get the idea. Think like the phone book, they publish all the info for free and charge for ads, larger listings, slogans, extra space etc. Obviously this is a very successful operation as they do it every single year. No one continues an operation unless it makes good money.
Contact home businesses by phone, mail or flyer and give them a questionnaire about their business. Explain that you are making a directory and they can get a free listing. Put them under a selected heading (for easy reference) If they want to be under more than one heading, charge them. If they want their slogan included, or an ad as well, charge them. Stress to all businesses that they must be honest and fair. If they would like to include a pic or an about me information paragraph, charge them for that. Use your imagination. You can make this business as big as you like. But as I was saying, make sure you stress that the business must be honest in all their dealings. All businesses with repeated complaints should be eliminated. An excellent way to get publicity fast is to cross-promote. Have some of the businesses give issues to their clients or give free mentions to their clients. This will enable you to build the directory fast and your reputation as well. Make sure you have a cross variety of ads and that you also include a few of your own for the directory. Republish at a set time every so often and as your business grows so will your financial leverage in your community. This is an excellent way to become one of the most known and sought after women in your community. You simply place a picture of yourself in every issue with an about me article. (Do not include your address!!!) As your directory grows larger and larger, so will your fame and reputation. You can expand to businesses that are small, yet now home based and expand even faster. You can also include a few tips for buying sales or coupons or specials that people can cut out and use. Shop around for the cheapest printer. Prices can vary alot. People will often pick up your directory for just this reason. This is not a get rich quick scheme. You will work at first for little money, but along the way it will grow beyond your dreams-provided you stick with it. These are some of the things you should charge extra for.
1. bold
2. inserts like (see advertisement)
3. Advertisements
4. first in line under heading
5. about me info/picture
You can even offer a small free ad to new customers so they can see the value in continuing with your directory. Most will jump at the chance for free publicity. Some benefits to your customers are:
1 More and more will want to be included as your guide becomes the definitive place to look for home businesses
2. Other businesses will read the directory in order to find out what the competition is doing.
3. As your customers business grows, they will have more money to buy larger ads with you.
4. Use your customers name and info to add to your own mailing list (you can sell the list or sell something that can to be sold to the list)
5. Another service you can offer is general info on the community and articles about schools, citizens, local officials - or anything that increases readership and makes people want to get their hands on a copy
6. You can have a what's hot now category or who's hot now category, that has people fighting to get into it. Use your imagination. You can turn your little enterprise into a million dollar enterprise.
Some ways to get your paper to the public
1. school kids to distribute door to door.
2. distribute to stores
3.place fliers for it
4. use your customers as distribution points
Pick up other directories and see how they run it. Then simply copy a successful one. Good luck and remember you can always contact me for help...
Many people give up because success does not come instantaneously. That is not the way life works. IF you are not willing to put in the work and wait for the results, you can pretty much forget having any business and just continue to work all your life. This business does work! And it can be the key to a whole new life if you stick with it in the early months. In six months you can easily be making 3,ooo per month and it can easily double without much more effort from there. But you must stick it out when you begin and the money is not where you want it to be. That is one of the secrets of the millionaires. They know that small drips become great gushes with time and effort.
mailto:-asktaylor1991@yahoo.com ( for help or advice-my readers only)
Beauty tip for the ladies:
Ladies let me tell you something. Some people think that being thin is very sexy. I say only if you are fit and firm. Lets face it, a firm 150 lb woman is going to be far sexier and firmer than a sloppy, toneless, sagging 120 lb woman. I want you all to realize that because many women think as long as they are thin, they are sexy. Not True! If you are sagging, and toneless regardless of your weight, you will not look good! You must tone up and spend some time at least 5 days per week in excercise! While you may be trying to firm up, here are some figure tips:
If you have a shape that MUST be toned down (like me) including large breasts, too round rear end and small waist. You will want to wear dark colors and soft fabrics. Scoop necklines are great for the big chested girl as well as small delicate necklaces. Wear a good bra and avoid slouching to make your chest less conspicuous (it does not work, and just gives you bad posture) I really love blouses that are long and soft as they are great for hiding a large chest and de-emphasizing an overly curvaceous rear end. Never wear tight clothing as it will empathise everything. Leave off the bright colors and large designs. (unless you are very thin, and need to look bigger) A great way to get in shape, look fabulous and never break a sweat is to exercises. A 1 hour walk daily will have you skin glowing , your hair growing and your body slimming beautifully. You will also feel sexier every day and digestion as well as sleep will become effortless. Whatever you ladies do, please get a good exercises program that you enjoy. It will take away stress, weight, and sagging and make you feel beautiful from the inside out.
Thank you all for tuning in -see you next post...
posted by Taylor-Sara @ 9:38 AM
78 Comments
78 Comments:
I don't know if anyone else has noticed but in London atleast i have started seeing more and more black females with white males! It's crazy, in a good way...So just the other day i saw a cute couple walking hand in hand...and one of those couples were me! yup, found a cute white guy i just started dating and yeah we caught a few glares from black guys but so what! If more and more black girls date out it will be the norm just like white females and black males, no one will stare or care. Also i'd like to ad that most people who date out are not self hating or doing it to make their own jealous and angry, most simply fall in love with eachother not because of their skin colour.
I always find it interesting how black men think that the black race will become extinct if black women marry out and have babies by other men. It's like they think that the only black people in the world are the ones in America. Black people are all over the world and it would take thousands/millions of years for anything to be 'bred out'. I guess it's just another scare tactic they try to use to keep black women contained. I'm not one to go for that.
It's so sad that so many black persons can't be happy to see their own happy in love, regardless of what colour the partner is.
I, for one, am very happy that Venus is getting married. I'm happy for anyone who can find love and start a life with someone.
And for all those horrible people who write those nasty things about Venus, they need to stop. Really, most of the time when Venus is seen, she is wearing little to no make up, which means that she has a naturally attractive face. Not like so many others in the media who are always wearinf tons of makeup. Not that there's anthing wrong with makeup, but that just means that Venus should be given so much more credit for her good looks.
Anyway, thanks for this post Sara. And thanks for the wealth tips. Here in Trinidad parking is really a big issue in the city. I live near the main business area and have a pretty big driveway. I will definitely try your suggestion, and let you know how it works out.
Tracie
Sara, I think you've been to the same website I was at. Those comments about Venus look familiar. I agree with you about BM wanting us to just sit around and wait on them. I have a friend/co-worker whose been with her BF for more then seven years. They are having a baby in July and he still hasn't asked her to marry him. She's 27 and he's 29. Now that all of his friends are getting married NOW he's feeling the pressure to jump the broom. She doesn't even care if he asks her or not at this point. No matter what, she will always wait around for him and his mood swings. The funny thing she told me once was, if him and her break up, she is going to find her a white man.
Sara, as usual good post, many of these people who write or say these things are demon possessed. They work with emotions not on reason, as I was told at my church today, bad thinking, leads to bad emotions, leads to bad actions, lead to destruction. As Niki_cola said the Africa is full of black men, so is the West Indians, Brazil etc, so there is more men to go around, unfortunately, because of their narrow and bad minds, evil enters into them and they sight, thoughts and feelings becomes narrow and distorted and in the process they destroy themselves, either but getting diseases, which leads to death. We just have to pray, bless them and let them go and we get on and get lovely people in our lives, who will make us their queens.
I found this site today. The gentleman's name is Ken and he tells of his love for his fiance.
bwtameken-relationshipcorner.blog
spot.com
Ann F.
I've always preferred Serena to Venus, but after seeing her with short hair in Sports Illustrated and on your blog, I must admit she's HOT! And I definitely agree with you that most hate is derived from jealousy. Being hateful and mean spirited aren't healthy qualities, they are only self destructive.
Excellent post! These guys wouldn't even give Venus a 2nd look. And i truly believe that the whole "save the black race" is an excuse, as long as Jesus died on the cross for my sins i don't need to carry the cross for any race. What i want for myself is to find a good man, reguardless of color and that's exactly what Venus did. And she looks happy, she looks loved, appreciated & celebrated.
I can't wait for that kind of love, where my man is proud that I am his girlfriend.
For all Venus fans, she's going to be on Real Sports on HBO on Monday, May 12 - she'll be interviewed by Bryant Gumbel. Gumbel will be asking her about her boyfriend/fiance and if they're in love.
what a stupid question! If they were not in love why would they be getting married!
i went to an erykah badu concert on Friday in NYC and there were alot of bw with wm. I say go on sistas. I am sick of all this hatred against bw who go outside of the box and date a white man or a half white man ..etc. I am only 23 and I refuse to die unmarried and alone.
Good for you RocknRollSista.
"Gumbel will be asking her about her boyfriend/fiance and if they're in love."
LOL...Bryant Gumbel should be one of the last men on Earth to interview Venus.
Ann F.
Another great posting Sarah [addicted to your site, it's like crack ,never tried it, I'm a proud bougie].I have to somewhat disagree with you on this issue ,of Venus and Serena Williams being unattractive to bm and attractive to white men . I and many bm have been fans of the Williams Sisters before they turned pro .The nastiest viliest comments about these bw have come from wm and ww the most famous being from Sid Rosenberg of the Don Imus Show who said they shouldn't be in Playboy but National Geographic as if they were animals ,Howard Stern allways comment on how ugly they are to him[Howard has admitted to an affair with Robin Givens].The white tennis world has also been vicious to them even though they handle it with much grace and class, whatever you think of their father or mother they raised these women well.these are some posting of how ww and wm have treated them please read them.http://orvillelloyddouglas.wordpress.com/2007/07/10/venus-wins-wimbledon-for-the-fourth-time-yet-racist-tennis-experts-are-wolves-in-the-darkness/ hears another one http://orvillelloyddouglas.wordpress.com/2007/10/07/jon-wertheim-the-no1-williams-sister-hater-in-usa-media
On the BM side Venus and Serena have both been featured in bikini spreads in bm magazines and have made the top 10 sexiest list ,somethig that would never happen in the white magazines. I'm sure those comments came from Mediatakeout or Bossip a black site filled with bw mostly and a few bm who are for the most part filled with self hate.
In full support of the bw expanding their dating options,lets the world know that bw are just as desireable as all other females ,besides she was God's Idea and Ideal First!!! bougieman
Taylor-Sara said...
what a stupid question! If they were not in love why would they be getting married!
................................
roflmao...Bryant gumbel is a fool Sara..and to think I used to think he was a cool handsome bm (shudder)...and then he showed his true colors. Get a divorce and marry your "jump off"..but don't utterly disregard your former wife and mother of your children..AND did you guys know that he hates his mother, and as rich ( I assume) as he is (or has been) I read his mom lives in a rental apt and has to still work even though she is close to 8o years old. That is what he thinks of BW. Of course there may be a story we don't know about...but damn....
Anyway..I love both Venus and Serena, and I go to tournaments when I can..and I yell obscenely on their behalf (and deride their opponents loudly..lol)I have also seen them both up close, and they are beautiful sisters...I think it is plain and simple jealousy why people in general give them such a hard time. A lot of men (in particular dbr bm) have a warped view of femininity. They think a woman is ugly if her hair is in a ponytail and she is not wearing nailpolish on her toes or makeup on her face, or if she is sweaty while playing a physical game. They cannot, because the dbr are virtually incapable of taking into account that women are beautiful in their natural state too..ie the just getting out of bed, clean lovely unmadeup skin etc.
Show me a delicate, made up tennis player, and I will show you someone who has never and will never win a grand slam title. These ladies are powerful both physically and mentally. We should all strive to be a little like them. If some dbr would ever compare me to them, I would be happy.... to know that I am definitely on the right path...lol
I will give a lot of credit to semi crazy Richard Williams and his lovely former wife Oracene. They had an "outlandish vision" for their girls..and they made it happen through hard work and dedication. We should ALL follow that kind of credo..the sooner the better.
Thanks SaraT for the tips...so appreciated.
This comments are probably from MediaTakeout or Bossip. I stop going to those sites a long time ago. Like someone said before, these sites are full of bw and bm who are full of self hate and low self esteem. I don't know why any bw in their right mind would continue to go to them when they insist on disrespecting black female stars.
Good for Venus, Mellody, and Alfre. More and more black women are dating out. Most of us are waking up to the fact that bm feel they have an advantage over us and will never treat us like we should be treated, because they know some other misguided bw will scoop them up in a minute.
PREACH it and TEACH it Sara!
EVERYTHING you said in this recent post is SPOT ON.
One reason why many blacks (men and women) are currently suffering compared to many of us happily married/attached black women and white men (and other non black men) couples is because of venom, spite, hatred, jealousy and extremely low (and no) self-worth.
What one wishes for others truly does come back to bite one in the behind.
What goes around certainly comes around eventually.
And this is a lesson we see being played out everyday.
When we wish the best for others and send out peace and love instead of turmoil, and insecurity (and that's what this haterade towards BW/WM is really about) a world of goodness is opened up to us.
Haters need to realize once and for all that we BW/WM couples (and families) are NOTHING new and our numbers are simply going to continue to grow in the coming years. Both in the U.S. and internationally.
The hate that is spewed by hate-mongers is only going to continue to backfire and be sent back to it's weak, fearful, insecure and insignificant source.
THANK YOU again Sara for this VERY timely, well written, and accurate piece.
PEACE to you and keep up the good work!
Felicia
Women’s Tennis will never be same because of Venus and Serena. I’ve read some of the deep rooted hatred these young women have to endure from every angle just to pursue their passion in the US. Some people in the US would prefer someone from another country win the championship, as long as the winner was a ww or blonde and anorexic skinny, than the Williams sisters. I kept cheering for the sisters, just get the check and go to the bank!
The plastic brillo pad scrub really works! Now, I’m waiting for an idea on permanent cellulite removal :) lol!
LOL @ Being interviewed by Bryant Gumbel...What a joke!
Meanwhile...Back at the ranch...This is the story of BW lives NO MATTER WHAT WE DO!
Damned if you do...Damed if you don't...For example if a BW trusts a man and he does wrong (and you're left holding the bag), you're a chickenehad...If taking the future into ones own hands (education,career,housing,ect),the BW will often be labeled as too independent, controlling , ect...
I have you tube videos where BM say, "I don't care if BW date interacially"...Yet they show up day after day to call us dogs and everything else but a "child of God"...But yet mysteriously, If a BW does not have a certain 'look', her chances of being approached by BM goes down at least 50%...But yet we are supposed to sit around waiting at the terminal for a train that may never show up..Hmmm...Hypocrisy at it's finest...
***Outside observation....Whenever I wore my hair 'long', more BM would approach me...Now that I'm natural, more WM approach me and I really only get shouted out by older BM (like over 50+...too old for me IMO)****
Nikki_Cola said...I always find it interesting how black men think that the black race will become extinct if black women marry out and have babies by other men. It's like they think that the only black people in the world are the ones in America. Black people are all over the world and it would take thousands/millions of years for anything to be 'bred out'. I guess it's just another scare tactic they try to use to keep black women contained. I'm not one to go for that."
Nikki - That is what happens when the little head does the thinking These numskulls think that only women perpetuate the race - hello if one parent momma or daddy is black you are black simple as that - given how many BM DBR and otherwise are doing the baby daddy thing with anything that moves there is no chance in the world of the race dying out.
Folks start losing their minds when you live your life on your own terms because the message sent to them is Mind over matter, if you mind me living my life then you do not matter - so mind your own business I am not here to live down to your expectations and you are not here to live up to mine so stay out of my business. These folks are insecure and their world revolves around them it's all about them - totally narcissistic, insecure fools - anything that is not about them or bringing them something is scary and condemned. The BW are scared they have missed the boat but do not have the guts to go for the glory so they condemn what they most want. Sad -SMH If they want to waste their time and lives doing that - I wish them well - may they eventually find peace because I am enjoying my life.
V/r
Clarice
energize said:
The plastic brillo pad scrub really works! Now, I’m waiting for an idea on permanent cellulite removal :) lol!
............................
I know...isn't it great..I was really amazed at the difference..I keep stroking my arms (and other bits) now, because they are so smooth and soft..lol
Yep..I too am waiting for the permanent cellulite removal system which I KNOW will be posted by our SaraT any day now...
Until then..I'll keep hitting the treadmill.
Ciao all
Have a GREAT week
Sara, it's actually not certain that Venus and Hank are engaged. There are rumors that it was a story floated by the Australian tabloids. That is probably why Bryant is asking the question - he's probably probing to try to find out if they really are engaged.
*Quick snippet: Josh Hartnett co-starring w/ Namoi Harris(she played the voodoo witch in Pirates) in "August"* something for these drbm to be angry about,lol. go ahead hollywood...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7jbdHW_E2g
"I have you tube videos where BM say, "I don't care if BW date interacially"...Yet they show up day after day to call us dogs and everything else but a "child of God"..."
high-five on that one. i can't tell you how many youtube videos are out there that are done by these guys who do this. i know there's one guy who said he doesn't care if black women date out, and i thought geeze finally then when i decided to look up his other videos all his videos were about black women this black women that, im like "hold up!". He has about 200+ videos like this. i don't understand why they dedicate videos and their time on black women if they don't like us.
but whatever...
thanks Sandra, but according to my souces they are engaged. so I guess we'll know soon enough...
Can someone explain to me the brillo scrub method the people are describing in here? What is it and what is it for? Thanks.
I am through caring about what bm want, like or think about bw.
Interesting little story. I was getting gas just last Friday. I pulled into the gas station and the cute Indian waits on me and then strikes up a conversation with some light chit chat. He then asks me where I am from. Can I just say that that question always throws me for a loop. I was born in the US but my family is from the Caribbean and I never know how to answer. Sometimes I will say, I am an american or I am from NJ and then people will ask me, no where are you really from. This time I answered that I was from NJ, and the indian guy says, I thought you were from africa, we love you women from there. So I was like what for real?? I go on to say that my parents are both from the carib. And then he went on to tell me how beautiful I was looking today.
I will say that he was very very good looking. Beautiful skin, gorgeous teeth and nice feature. He was wearing a turban. I must say I would be quite hesitant to date an indian simply because their colorstruck issues are as big an issue if not bigger then those in the black community.
Excellent post, Madame Sara! If these beautiful women have found someone who loves them for who they are....brava! If more people concentrated on being positive there would be less "mess" going on in the world, period!
CW said, "***Outside observation....Whenever I wore my hair 'long', more BM would approach me...Now that I'm natural, more WM approach me and I really only get shouted out by older BM (like over 50+...too old for me IMO)****"
You just ain't right, CW! LOL I've had the same observation! Back when I had longer hair, one BM in particular, crossed the street to talk to....my hair. I politely informed him that there was a person attached to the hair! It creeped me out! I say, if you want long hair, dude....grow your own and then you can play with it all you want! LOL
I almost forgot...about the health tips...
Please don't forget to drink plenty of water! It can't hurt...only help.
Also, I lost quite a bit of weight by taking dance classes (salsa/african dance and tribal bellydance), along with yoga and walking.....it doesn't seem like "exercise" when there's a beat involved! Besides, you get to dress up!
Yes, annonymous their are many Indian families with color issues. On the other hand, it is not everyone. And, if you decide to go on a date with Mr. Look So Good, please do not be so eager as to jump into bed with him. If you are good enough to sleep with then you are good enough to marry.
Ann F.
George Lucas is a smart man because he chose to be with a very intelligient and attractive woman. Mellody Huobson is a financial guru. I believe she may still appear on one of those morning news programs giving her financial advice. Now, this is a woman who is living her true life and she is always well dressed.
I read a few years ago that George aka "Mr. Star Wars" first wife had left him and their three adopted kids. He then continued to raised their children alone- I am sure he hired someone to help. It would appear that he did a good job of raising his children they all appeared to be well adjusted.
Ann F.
Anon. if you will scroll down(about) 2 posts ago, in the beauty tips-it talks about the brillo pads. That's what they are referring to....
"George Lucas is a smart man because he chose to be with a very intelligient and attractive woman. Mellody Huobson is a financial guru. I believe she may still appear on one of those morning news programs giving her financial advice. Now, this is a woman who is living her true life and she is always well dressed."
I have always respected and admired George Lucas. He is an incredible visionary and business man. I remember watching a special about him some years ago about his Star Wars empire, this was definitely a few years before he started dating Mellody. But they showed his home and his family. Thereafter, they got onto his love life. They did interviews with friends and colleagues, most notably Francis Ford Coppolla. I don't know why but this always stuck with me but it had. Francis said how very picky George was and that he was looking for too much in a woman. Francis used the example of George wanting someone like a Queen Noor - dignified, intelligent, charismatic and with tremendous grace and style. I tell this story only to further illustrate George's high level of taste and Mellody's qualities. To be honest when the comparison to Queen Noor was made I thought that was a subtle way of saying George preferred the blond haired blond eyed type.
For those of you that don't know Queen Noor is the former Queen of Jordan - she got a lot of play and a lot of press simply because she was an american blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman who married arab royalty and become queen of Jordan, an arab muslim country. Most people couldn't tell you who the queen of Jordan was before her or after her. Typical white supremacist BS. Same reason why you don't see more bw married to wm in the press.
Speaking of which and getting back on the topic of George and Mellody, I will never forget the very first article I ever read about them. This is when they went to the Oscars together. I just remember the writer of the article saying how shocking and suprising this couple was and how the room reacted to their presence. I just became increasingly offended by the tone of the articles. For instance:
---"attended the Oscars and a pre Oscar party together and this had some tongues wagging."
----"AT the Oscar "Night Before" party at the Beverly Hills Hotel on Saturday, "Star Wars" creator George Lucas had guests wide-eyed when he showed up with "Good Morning America" financial correspondent Mellody Hobson. "They were definitely together - it was the oddest thing," said our source. The two have been seen in public together before, but it is not known if they're dating."
I'm trying to figure out why the guests were wide-eyed. Are these same folks wide-eyed when they see Seal and his wife Heidi Klum together? What about Sidney Poitier and his wife Joanna? And the oddest thing? What's so odd about Mellody and George being together? It's 2008, not 1908. Interracial dating ain't nothing new. Or does the thought of someone like George Lucas dating a black woman make some folks nervous?
Thank you Anon, I could not understand those remarks myself. What's odd about him showing up with this lovely woman? They really had alot of nerve to say that....
Annon. I believe we both saw the same 60 Minutes program about George Lucas- after watching that program I had a new respect for him. When his ww left him and their kids he withdrew a little from dating and began to focused more on his children. Some people who knew he wasn't dating was probably surprised by this choice of a dating partner and many people probably assumed that this rich guy would eventually begin dating someone half his age.
You know the usual suspects. LOL...these people obviously did not know George that well. He probably was looking for someone who was substantial. And, for those people who did not recognize Mellody as a morning news personality...I bet they know her now.
Ann F.
I think that Alfree Woodard's husband is sooooo handsome. His pedigree is interesting. I saw her being interviewed years ago and she was saying that he was kin to a former US president (in the 1800's). She joked about that saying that he is probably turning over in his grave.LOL.
White women must REALLY get upset about this one. He is really handsome and comes from good stock.
good stock...who says?
Sara,
One of my biggest problems right now with ir dating are the reactions I receive from bm and their need to sabotage my attempts to meet wm.
Two weeks ago, I was out having fun at a popular hotspot in NYC. I struck up a conversation with an attractive wm and every was going well, the conversation was flowing. While out of no way this bm walks over and starts butting into our conversation. The wm had to buy him a beer to get rid of him. We then went back to our conversation. I was so sure he was going to ask for my phone number when his bm friend came over insisting that they leave right away and they did. I could tell his bm friend wasn't very happy with the fact that we were digging eachother . Of course, I was pissed.
Again, on that same day. I was on my way home when I saw this hot wm, he was tall,dark and very well dressed. We were both waiting for our train.
We also noticed eachother right away but there was a bm standing next to him(I knew I would be sabotaged, yet again). I walked up along side the wm as the train pull into the station. I looked over at him and smiled. He smiled back and said, "hi", and I said, "hi" back. We got on the train, the bm decided to stand in between the both of us and then proceeded to hit on me and when I didn't respond. He started some tirade about how bw should know who our ememies are(yeah you). I was so embarrassed. I couldn't wait to get off at the next stop and I did. The wm was so hot and I was fuming. I have so many more scenarios like this.
I believe this happens because I'm an attractive light skinned bw(know this happens to attracive dark skinned bw too) but it seems when you're a light skinned bw, bm really, really take offense. My theory is, they feel that I could have my pick of the litter when it comes to them. So, why would I want to be with a wm? It comes across to them, as a big slap in the face. I am not trying to offend them, I just prefer wm.
I want to know what should I do, when I'm out trying to meet wm and bm decide they want to sabotage my attempts?
"I want to know what should I do, when I'm out trying to meet wm and bm decide they want to sabotage my attempts?"
Tell them, "EXCUSE ME, I'm talking here," and pull your new friend away. That'll be a REAL slap in the face to them and get your point across immediately. Also, try online dating. There are many handsome white men on plentyoffish.com and match.com.
HBC,
I'll tell you what you should do.
You should ignore them. You and the white man you're interested in should just get up and move away from these obviously disturbed black males.
When they get loud and try to embarrass you just continue on with your conversation. These f*ckers are only embarrassing THEMSELVES.
The reason why these a**holes continue with this behavior is because they've learned from past experience that it works.
DON'T let these SOB's sabotage your chances of meeting Mr. White right.
These fools don't own you so stop letting them think they do by acknowledging them. They'll probably curse you or start cackling and pointing (or some other sorry attempt at "public humiliation") when you ignore them but that just shows to the world how very damaged they are. And that's a good thing.
Society needs to know this dirty little secret that exists in the "black community" concerning BW who prefer WM and the often hateful reactions given by disturbed black males (and occasionally black females).
Remember black men do NOT own you in any way shape or form. Therefore you don't owe them recognition. Tune them OUT just like any other non interested woman would.
You don't "owe" them a damn thing.
Concentrate on the man you're with and frequent liberal minded predominantly white environments if you can.
The odds of running into disturbed bm will be less.
Good luck and the right white man is out there for you for sure.
hey HBC,
i never had it like that w/ bm. but i remember one instance before. i think i mentioned in some other post. me and my girls were at the club and most the bm were either dancing w/ every woman under the sun except black or they were just standing there. well me and my friend kinda just sat there, until these two hispanic men came up to us and asked us to dance, we said yes. so there i am dancing w/ the guy and oh so suddenly these black guys wanna dance w/ us. one even tried to pull me away from the guy saying and i quote "come on lady you don't need to be dancin' w/ him". i just pulled away and continued dancing w/ the guy.
"I want to know what should I do, when I'm out trying to meet wm and bm decide they want to sabotage my attempts?"
You can either not saying anything back to him and just continue your conversation w/ the gentlmen, or say to the guy "you know, no disrespect but i wasn't talking to you, you wouldn't like it if someone butted in our conversation" and then proceed to talk w/ the guy.
ive never had this happen to me, i'd like for them to try. ive been told that i tell it like it is....no apologies.
HBC said..."Sara,I want to know what should I do, when I'm out trying to meet wm and bm decide they want to sabotage my attempts?"
Just a quick comment until Sara can respond. This may take a little practice and a bit of courage at first but this is your happiness we are talking about! Think of how you would handle it if you were shoe shopping and someone stepped between you and your target and go for it! Why else do they call some shoes to die for :) Seriously though!
The same thing has happened to me in case #1 - here is how it played out I turned to the gentleman I was interested in and smiling sweetly said I am really enjoying our conversation I want to hear more about your travels. Let's move our conversation over there cause clearly we are blocking this man's access to the bar,and moved away.
Tactic One: Simply state the obvious - and kill 'em with kindness.
In case #2, I was on the train on the way home and I simply shifted positions to get around him - when that failed and of course it did. I smiled sweetly at my would be companion and looked Jr in the eye and smiled said excuse me but we were just trying to catch up with each other here when you stepped in the middle, let us get over here out of your way so we can talk.
The WM in both cases followed my lead and went with it. In case one he also bought the man a beer as we walked away and in case two he thanked the guy introduced himself to me and we chatted pleasantly. Men want to meet you and often do not know how to diffuse a situation w/out it getting into a confrontation.
If either of these men had spoken up initially it would have been, in guy speak a challenge. Men go to war - women talk it out over coffee :) Men want to meet you and they want whatever the woman wants and follow our lead - sometimes we have to given them a chance. If he is any kind of man worthy of the time he will appreciate it thank you for the opening and step up to the plate. This gives them a chance to be the 'hero' and rescue the lady. Even if nothing comes of it other than a pleasant encounter. Even though I 'took charge' in the situation I geared back down immediately and followed his lead and let him be the 'man' in the conversation - assertive w/out being aggressive.
Hope that helps.
V/r
Clarice
First White Morehouse Valedictorian
By ERRIN HAINES,
AP
Posted: 2008-05-15 14:54:21
Filed Under: Top News
ATLANTA -- From his first day at Morehouse College _ the country's only institution of higher learning dedicated to the education of black men _ Joshua Packwood has been a standout.
APHis popularity got him elected dorm president as a freshman. His looks and physique made him a fashion-show favorite. His intellect made him a Rhodes Scholar finalist. His work ethic landed him a job at the prestigious investment banking firm Goldman Sachs in New York City.
But it's his skin that has made all of this an anomaly. This month, Packwood is set to take the stage and address his classmates as the first white valedictorian in Morehouse's 141-year history.
The 22-year-old from Kansas City, Mo., will graduate on May 18 with a perfect 4.0 GPA and a degree in economics.
He also drew attention with his looks _ some Atlanta University Center coeds took to calling him "Tom Cruise." His photo album on Facebook shows a smiling Packwood posing with dozens of young, black women who fill his page with notes.
He is attractive and of course intelligient. Alright, ladies go and get your man.
Ann F.
hbc, I understand what you're saying but at the same time if two people are really interested in each other you shouldn't let complete strangers interfere like that. and that goes for some of these guys too that appear to be interesed in you.
That seems odd to me that 2 people apparently like each other in comes a stranger and it's just over just like that.
Unless there wasn't any real interest to begin with.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
"Why else would they dog a girl they don't even consider attractive, because she dared stray toward a white man?"
Some mean folks who are led by jealousy, greed, other negative traits -those people still (just like evil itself) need to feed off of good. BW are still viewed as the life force of the "community." Evil can't exist by itself. Good can! Good can thrive, turn this way, that way, pursue x, y, and z and be okay.
Evil -which is not meant to exist (permanently)- MUST find good to latch on to and feed from. I.e. until those mean spirited people let go of their own jealousy, greed, hate, fear, etc. they'll be 'dogging' BW (and any other good that pursues /begets its own good) for eternity.
re: Venus. I hope she never hears all those negativity that's floating out there. She doesn't need that. Hurtful.
HBC, I think the ladies have answered your question very well, and I concur whole heartedly. Try this advice and let us know how things go. We are all rooting for you. BTW. People PLEASE use a name any name! We have too many people signing in as Anon. And anon at the end, it is not unusual for strangers to back off people they are very interested in, if they are trying to avoid a confrontation, and looking bad in front of a woman they are interested in.....
Wow!!! I didn't know it was that hard for bw out their trying to get with wm .My two cents as a bm is for bw looking to be with wm is to let these bm sabetouers know that you have no interest in them what so ever, or flip the script you know the one they use on you when they want to date outside the race, like black guys aren't handsome enough ,sexy enough, manly enough, on my level remember Wilt Chamberlian 's famous line that bw weren't classy enough for the circle he travels in !?? I know a many bw who have been hurt emotionally by bm and their words questioning their beauty and appeal something that keeps women in line and under their control to use as they will, a bw dating out is free from that control even though some other races of men do the same ,so as long as your paying your own way you owe no one a thing. ....I'm not a tratior to bm or in competition with wm for bw just a father who wants the best for his daughters and if that's a wm, so be it ....bougieman
Those haters have nothing better to do than start something and the old saying goes Misery loves company.
Just think of what kind of reactions you get from down south!!!
Its a mixed bag..some are fasinated by the fact that I date outside my race but also take it as BM aren't good enough and I think that I am better than them which is not true! Some are down right rude to my face and others just stare!!! I don't really care anymore. I no longer want to be the angry defensive black woman....I am just trying to be a better woman.
Tori
BTW I am dying to move to London!!! Is the interracial dating scene over there blowing up or what!!!
Tori
I just want to say thanks to everyone and Sara for the good advice and words of encouragement. It is greatly appreciated. I have always liked the upligting vibe of this blog and I to hell with the nay-sayers.
I do try to frequent establishments that are predominately white but there always seems to be a bm or two hanging around. One of the things that is disturbing (besides the sabotaging they do)is that they aren't even there to meet bw. They frequent those places to meet ww but the moment they see me interacting with a wm(sometimes I'm just being friendly and I have no real romantic interest) here they come, muscling in. It's really annoying and needless to say, very controlling and sexist.
By the way, I didn't even get a chance to have a conversation with the hot wg on the train because we were intersected by "Mr. you should know who your ememies are". I'm very shy around men I find attractive to begin with and I hate public displays, so situations like that are very difficult for me to deal with. But, I will take everyone's good advice. I will try not to let bm or anyone(I even have stories of ww who have tried to sabotage me but that's another topic) get in my way. After all, it's my happiness and you should do whatever you have to obtain it.
Thanks again.
bougieman? With my eyebrow raised?
A. F.
Just in regards to the person who said that the comments made about George Lucas and Mellody Hobson were actually, "They made the room very uncomfortable... they seemed to be together... how odd," I believe the reason is because people are comfortable with black women dating white men as long as the men are not the big fish. If it's Thandie Newton dating a relative unknown, the white supremacists are okay with it because it looks like the black woman did the choosing. But when the roles are reversed, and a big fish like George dates a black woman who is a relative unknown, it scares them. It makes it look like HE went after HER... and why would he wanna do that when he can have a white woman, right? His pick of the litter....
I tell ya, it's a messed-up country we're livin' in.
'Allo Ladies (said with the cockney accent...
Well.I am chiming in a bit late here..but I must say I am highly annoyed at the thought of these men thinking they can just cut in...
For me it goes too the ownership issue..Since I have no allegiance to a RANDOM black man I don't know, or in all likelihood will never know, then I have no reason to seek to engage him beyond the level of any OTHER human being...
Don't even make eye contact with such individuals..or have it be minimal..certainly don't acknowledge them...no "what's up Brother" type stuff...remember..THIS IS A STRANGER..YOU HAVE NO DUTY TOWARDS THEM....Trust me..they GET the picture...they will only move in on certain people...Don't be sooo nice..remember, we are talking about strangers all around...and people who do not have your interests at heart....make them uncomfortable when you can...discuss things that you KNOW they will not get, or care about..you are not there to make THEM feel good...and never be afraid to move away or speak loudly to them..ie "LEAVE ME ALONE SIR. I AM NOT INTERESTED"..just be careful for your self, and always be aware of your surroundings..be COLD and FIRM...to the ONE'S who you are not interested in..no matter who they are. Trust your instincts..women need to NOT be so freakin' "nice" oriented.
bougieman? With my eyebrow raised?
A. F.
Just means middle class values,which I believe in .Black People use the word as a perjorative ,but as I've seen the depths of lowlife and low class behavior became the standard of being black in America ,please call me a bougie!! Would love to see bp return to the world of family [mamma & daddy ,instead of baby daddy ,baby's momma].
HBC said...
I do try to frequent establishments that are predominately white but there always seems to be a bm or two hanging around. One of the things that is disturbing (besides the sabotaging they do)is that they aren't even there to meet bw. They frequent those places to meet ww .
They maybe just settling ,because I doubt they would go to a black establishment to look for bw,because of the reaction from bm [remember these are the bm who like bw the ones sabatoging you in the bar are looking for ww and maybe want their friend to continue to help then attract ww who maybe a little hessitant to be with a bm]so going to their areas let them know you have some interest .Also have a card with name and number email ready so if a ww or bm comes along to sabatage you just say call me email me when you have time.
Somebody else said it but try online dating with your picture and profile
Go international Europeans love bw
Try charities where you volunteer your time many men who work in these areas are good hearted and open minded- Multi racial churches, helping veterans ,boy scouts, sporting events.
Don't be insulted ,but be prepared to show your domestic skillz....nothing is hotter or sexier than a cooking cleaning goddess ...a man knows he's going to be well taken care of when he sees this from a woman.
Please if you have any chip on your shoulder about bm ,get rid of it smile and be good and gracious to all men it defuses tension in uncomfortable situations . Don't let anyone steal your joy or happiness when you are in the right .Bougieman
Bougieman...one does not have to be middle class to have family values. And, may I remind you there are middle class bw who are the head of their families?
Family Vales...you just made me think of the Republican party and all of their hypocrisy. Yes, I agree we do need to return to the days of having both Mother and Father in the same home. On the other hand, it has also being proven that having a Mom and Dad in the home just for the sake of the kids is not necessarily helping the kids especially if the parents are arguing. Also, there are other races who are going through this situation; however, it is meanly bp who are being condemned.
And, I am still looking at you with a raised eyebrow.
A. F.
"Don't be insulted ,but be prepared to show your domestic skillz....nothing is hotter or sexier than a cooking cleaning goddess ...a man knows he's going to be well taken care of when he sees this from a woman."
And, Bougieman what does the female get out of this deal???????
A. F.
A. F.
one does not have to be middle class to have family values. And, may I remind you there are middle class bw who are the head of their families?
Family Vales...you just made me think of the Republican party and all of their hypocrisy
Not trying to be politcal ,or Republican [Obama supporter] just going by the original meaning of the word bourgeoisie that have been used to tell other Bp that they're sellouts and not true to the cause ,whatever that maybe, even though I consider The Nation of Islam as having these values -traditional family ideals, work ,obedience to law and order etc as oppose to the chaos that have taken place in our communities today.
A. F.
Bougieman what does the female get out of this deal???????
A Man!! an earlier poster was saying how bm were sabotaging her and how she was trying to meet wm.I was giving some advice on how to meet and hopefully keep one of any color going from my persepective as a man .Domestic skills is one of the reason that wm love Asian Women !! Please put your eyebrows down stop getting all white feminist on me. bougieman
Bougie...many females already keep a clean home and we all may not be goumet cooks we can cook something.
And, I can garden. Therefore, my home skills are together.
A. F.
Bougieman...do you for know all Asian women? Because you may be giving too much credit where it may not be deserve.
A. F.
A. F.
Bougie...many females already keep a clean home and we all may not be goumet cooks we can cook something.
And, I can garden. Therefore, my home skills are together.
Please the original comment was not an indictment on bw 's domestic skills ,[have a sister who cleans like it's a religeon]just sharing inside information on what guys like,just like I'm learning from these sites about women and on other sites about whites.
A. F.do you for know all Asian women? Because you may be giving too much credit where it may not be deserve
No I do not know all Asian Women,in fact I don't know any,but I know what a few white men have said to me about Asian Women and as well as the docile stereotype ,the domestic godess image is part of the makeup. bougie
Bougieman,
Why dont you go away. Sara, it sounds like he is trying to do perform that "put us down while trying to act like he is on our side" act. We dont want your input.
Bougieman, I feel you. Good advice for those who want it. For those who don't - like all advice, take what you want and leave the rest.
I agree with Sandra77
Mellody and George were on ET today.
Sara and Ladies, I heard on the radio this morning a bw protesting the beating/arrest of those three young blk. male teens who have been in the news lately. I still do not know if they were guilty of what the police said they did.
After listening to her complaint about accessive beatings I instantly thought about the lady and her son who lived in the Dunbar Village in Florida. I may be wrong; but, I do not recall any protesting on her behave.
Also, why people who were born in Africa do not protest? Then I realized that native Africans probably consider the Dunbar Village incident an AA problem and they are too busy earning their advance degrees and starting businesses. My supervisor who was born in Africa does not protest. Her physician husband who was also born in Africa does not protest any thing. However, they came here worked and obtain their degrees. And, her daughter who just earned her nursing degree is now in school to become a physican.
(I am not bashing native Africans.)
Hmmmm, AA protest and other minorities earn degrees? Makes one think, I hope.
I suppose my true question is when are we AA going to focus more on obtaining our advance degrees and become more entrepreneurial?
Ann F.
Ann F., I hear what you're saying. I think BW have to do both - we have to protest and we have to earn degrees/start businesses. Fortunately, the two are not mutually exclusive! But in protesting, we have to choose our battles wisely and in principled fashion. If these 3 boys were beaten for no reason, then yes, one is entitled to take up that fight. But I hope that fight isn't confuse who the real victim is (if in fact these boys committed a crime against someone) and the BC does not then start canonizing these boys and ignoring their wrong behavior because their civil rights may have been violated. If these boys did wrong, then it is important that they be told that by the community in no uncertain terms, so that they and other boys can learn the lesson. And if we're going to stand up for three potential criminals whose rights may have been violated, how much more should we be standing up for the real victims of their crimes?!
And as we earn degrees, start businesses and acquire more political power (i.e., friends in high places), some of these recurring phenomena that we keep protesting may also start to fall by the wayside.
Well, sandra77 more power to you.
Ann
Clarice:
If either of these men had spoken up initially it would have been, in guy speak a challenge. Men go to war - women talk it out over coffee :) Men want to meet you and they want whatever the woman wants and follow our lead - sometimes we have to given them a chance. If he is any kind of man worthy of the time he will appreciate it thank you for the opening and step up to the plate. This gives them a chance to be the 'hero' and rescue the lady. Even if nothing comes of it other than a pleasant encounter. Even though I 'took charge' in the situation I geared back down immediately and followed his lead and let him be the 'man' in the conversation - assertive w/out being aggressive.
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Thanks Clarice for putting those helpful hints out there.
I think-in fact I know that has been my main problem in the past. I used to shrink or hesitate to approach or send signals to wm because it never seemed to fail that there was always a bm or black men in the way c*** blocking LOL. Now I just look over them and keep it moving toward he intended target. I completely ignore the slack jaws and stares of amazement.
I have to live for ME and what makes ME happy :-P
I think that boogie man character is just here to attack us and act like he is trying to help us! Just like Ava said. Why can't they just leave us alone? So sick of them already!
selena you are sooooo right! Remmber Evia talking about her church and how almost all of the few men there have non-black gfs/wives. She said that almost all of the younger bw there were alone but terrified to allow any of the non-black men near them for fear of what the bm would say. My question is why do so many of us worry about what they will say when they NEVER worry about how we feel! In fact some of them seem to love it if it gets us upset! You are so right. Sisters MUST put their own interests first! This is what a mentally healthy and mature person does. It's as simple as that. If you are out on a cold day, would you take off your warm jacket and give it to the stranger because the stranger is cold? NO. A mentally healthy person would easily deduce. "I'm sorry they are cold but if I give them my jacket then I will be cold" and they keep their jacket. We have got to stop giving away our rights/wants/best interests and realize it does not make anymore sense to give them away as it does the jacket.....
I really don't think the Bougieman poster meant it in a bad way. Maybe it's just me but I'm always able to sense the seeds of discord, and I just don't get it from the guy.
I really don't think the Bougieman poster meant it in a bad way. Maybe it's just me but I'm always able to sense the seeds of discord, and I just don't get it from the guy.
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I like Bougieman too. I find him to be very refreshing. It's good to know that black men aren't all out to sabotage us.
Venus, Alfre and all the sistas BM diss, it actually pretty much cracks me up. All these guys keep saying they're too dark, Garcelle Beauvais is too dark, Halle Berry is a looney tune, etc etc. But let them be with a WM and they're everything but a child of God? It really cracks me up, because the truth is, EVERYTIME PPL SEE A BLACK WOMAN WITH A NON-BLACK MAN, ESPECIALLY IF HE MARRIES HER, IT NEGATES ALL THE STEREOTYPES THESE "BROTHAS" KEEP SPREADING ABOUT US AND THE SUPPOSEDLY "FACT" THAT WE AINT WIFE MATERIAL!! That's the only reason why they start trippin when they see non-black men wooing us, catering to us, marrying us etc.
Now, I may be off subject and sorry, but SARA I wanna thank you real quick. I'm new to this blog and boy it so opened my eyes, it's amazing how pics can have a serious impact and make you re-evaluate your perception of reality. The numbers of non-black men that I rejected because I thought they COULDNT be interested in ME as an individual but just saw me as an object, because I believed the LIES I've always been told. Oh boy, it's a NEW DAY!!!
Since "Something New" I've seen more and more sistas considering IRR, and also with the movie "Akira's HipHop Shop" about romance betwen asian men and black women. But me personally it's the fact that I SEE it with my own eyes and not just in movies, all these pics, that Peter Norton, George Lucas, I've seen that even CARLOS SANTANA they're with sistas. Arthel Neville's husband is asian! And all the regular guys who seem to be wonderful, whites, asians, etc, I mean I'm like WHAT?? It's like that? I'm telling you, it's a new day for me. Yeah thank you Sara, and all the other bloggers, my reality is changed forever thanks to you.
Good for you, Lola.
Ann F.
Thanks Ann F. !!
:)
Girl, sorry I did not answer earlier. I thought this post was long dead, but I am so happy to change your perceptions. We really do have options. Good options. We can come out of that cold dark box and breathe. (no more waiting to exhale) The same women many bm call dark and ugly, as you can see wm often think are beautiful and def. marriage material. I'm working on something right now to get more and more sistas happily married. There is no reason for beautiful, loving sweet bw to be alone....
Thank you again for doing what you do T-S! :)
Not everyone hates Black men. Some of us think they are finest men on Earth. So don't disrespect Black men in this blog or any other because I will check you in a minute. Some of you are just as guilty of the colorism and disrespect that you accuse Black men of. Also, there are Black women here with low self esteem, who think white is right, and have some foul things to say about their race.
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