Are we our own worst enemy? + wealth tips (scroll down)
"We (black women) don't like ourselves. If I were Hispanic, Usher would have the sexiest wife alive. If I were mixed, he'd have the sexiest wife alive. "But he has a black girl, and it's like, 'She's horrible and she's ugly!' OK, maybe I don't fit the cookie-cutter standard - 25 and a size two - but this is who he loves." ---Usher's wife Tameka Foster lashes out at 'jealous' fans in Essence magazine
Comments
oooookay....
Umm.. no, you idiot! Regardless of color, it really just comes down to you being ugly. Period.
Posted 12/03/2007 04:47 PM
Wow, she's not very complimentary towards her own race saying black woman hate her because she's a black woman and that if she was hispanic or mixed then hispanic or mixed woman would find her sexy. I don't hate her but she does look more like she's about 46 years old then the age she is and she's not exactly gorgeous. I think Usher's fans just think he could have found someone more his own age and beautiful but obviously to him she is so hope they'll be happy.
Posted 12/03/2007 07:24 PM
I take it PMS is back. Mooooooooooo goes the cow !!!
Posted 12/03/2007 09:13 PM
Posted 12/03/2007 10:03 PM
yeag girl..you foolin yourself. you is and will be ugly. you just gotta be sittin on a caampfire, cause you got Ursher stuuuck.
Posted 12/04/2007 01:10 AM
Posted 12/04/2007 04:26 AM
I think the public is put off by her because of all the trash stories of her manipulating him to marry by getting knocked up, his mother's contempt for her, etc. She is right about being treated better if she was asthetically appealing to the public. We all suffer that it some respect. That is our society. Just ask a pretty girl who has gained 30 lbs. and you will see she gets treated more poorly than when she was thin.
Posted 12/04/2007 07:00 AM
Posted 12/04/2007 07:38 AM
I too wonder if she has ever looked in the mirror? She looks like a 45 y/o drag queen. She is horrible looking, I would hate to see her w/o her makeup on! OMG that would be a scary sight. No it isn't because you are black it is because you are just plain ol' fugly!!!!
Posted 12/04/2007 11:35 AM
WELL U IS UGLY BITCH
Posted 12/04/2007 01:56 PM
Posted 12/04/2007 08:36 PM
Posted by: YES I SAID IT on 12/05/2007 12:29 PM
Is Beyonce mixed? Just curious? Because both her parents look black to me. And what about Iman is she fully black? Is every light skinned black women not fully black. I'd really like to know. I've seen really dark black women that were beautiful. I don't get her issue..Black men only like mixed raced women???
Posted 12/05/2007 09:45 PM
Posted 12/09/2007 05:22 PM
She is ugly...and that is just pure ignorance to say if you were another race that it would be different, because you would be ugly if you were white, hispanic, asian...etc.... She is plain out UGLY....and she looks like a man!!!!
Posted by: Suznane_Tafoya on 12/10/2007 08:38 AM
Maybe some bangs would help cause the forhead no five head needs to be hidden. And a make over as well. Cuase she is no Chilli, Hell shes not even cute as me and I am a beautiful "Black women". As far as her not having her other kids as a mother of 2 I had my kids at 16 and they have NEVER left my side regardless of what trials I have gone threw I am now 31. To me she has none of my respect!
Posted 12/10/2007 09:27 AM
Many blacks do hate themselves. I've had people make fune of tme for various reasons. U would think that my feelings would be hurt, but I end up feeling sorry for those blacks. Abuse, sex, children...the facts are out there for only God to judge. Who knows what kind of self-hating, child-molesting, baby-making, uneducated so-and-sos are posting to this site! My judgment lies in that I am not too fond of uneducated people (not necessarily a College degree). But I know that I as well as others are simply imperfect. It's not your business who this man marries. She's richer than all of you so don't be jealous. Ur just mad b/c Usher didn't marry u. Maybe he's just trying to keep it real.
Posted 12/11/2007 04:06 PM
She just want him for his money. He's to blind to see it. She was already married to some one else and pregnent by Usher. They all are going to hell.
Posted by: miami on 12/16/2007 12:35 AM
this relationship will not stand the test of time because he's actually mine
Posted 12/18/2007 08:59 PM
i think she is so ugly .. and she is not the rite person for usher...
Posted 12/28/2007 06:49 PM
THERE ARE TONS OF PRETTY DRK SKINNED WOMEN, BUT THIS WOMAN IS JUST PLAIN UGLY!!!!! NOTHING TO DO WITH SKIN COLOR
Posted 12/29/2007 12:07 PM
um....it takes balls to make a race thing out of ugly. yes..i said BALLS.
Posted by: mf on 12/29/2007 01:15 PM
Posted 12/29/2007 08:32 PM
Maybe she's ugly but its not being pretty that makes a beautifull wife. Usher is obviously much matured than we expect, we expect him to marry a model who will divorce him and keeps his money.
Posted 01/01/2008 11:15 AM
Tameka Foster has it so right with her comments on black people hating on one another. It is so damn obvious he worships the ground she walks on. She is a lucky woman to find a man like that, he did not go and marry a white woman which a lot of black artistes do. I think they will be very happy together, he obviously likes grown up women, not girls. It often happens when boys are brought up by just their mother. She did a really good job on him
Posted 01/02/2008 03:08 AM
Poor Usher....he spent all this time working hard to stay fit, not going around having babies....only to find some single mother, who's been knocked up and loosened up by 2 guys, who between them she has 3 children and now she has an unsightly pouch for a tummy. What ever happened to single eligible bachelors finding a beautiful single girl, dark or light, that is his and his only and he doesn't have to share her with some other guy and her kids. We are witnessing a severe decline in the traditional American Family. I for one thought men did not want ready made families.
Below wealth tips for folks in dire straights.....
Save fees when filing for bankruptcy.
If you are in dire straights and need to file for bankruptcy, you can save hundreds in lawyer fees by going to an office store, getting the bankruptcy papers yourself, filling them out and turning them in. Make sure everyone you owe is on the forms. They are pretty self explanatory. Pay the court fee and submit them yourself. When you get to the hearing, ( usually within 60 days ) the judge will ask why you are not represented by council. Simply tell him you are broke and cannot afford it. If your affairs are cumbersome or too intricate, he will appoint one to you at a much cheaper rate, or hear the case without one...
Help! they are going to seize my house!
If your property is going to be seized in a lawsuit unmarried women this is what you can do. (Yes, dammit I know it's unethical!) But desperate times call for desparate measures.....
1. Get Married! Your husband is not responsible for your debts, and once you place your assets in his name they cannot be seized!
2. Married men, -Transfer your assets to your wife, she is not responsible for your debts and in her name they cannot be seized...
3. If you have a small Corporation, you can transfer your assets to it. Corporations are considered legal entities, and cannot be levied against for the owner's debts
4. You can wait out the statue of limitations. This is usually 3-8 years. However if it has been more than 3 years, 95% of creditors have already given up....
Challenge a default judgement.
If you are surprised to receive a notice of intent to enter a judgement against you, that means that the creditor was awarded a judgment without you being aware of court action taking place against you. (this is illegal, but not uncommon) Here is what you do: write the collection lawyer, tell him that the default judgement was obtained illegally since you did not receive a summons. Tell him that any further action on their part will result in legal action on your part. Send copies to The Civil Court Judge, The Attorney General of your state and the local Bar Association. (remember, they cannot stick it on your door and assume you received it, it must be delivered in person) Otherwise, you have no idea what they are talking about.... In most cases, they will quickly recind the summons. In few cases you may have to go to court and show the judge the letter. Tell him or her the same thing that the judgement was illegally obtained. They will not be able to proove their case, so most will not even show up. The judgement will be thrown out...
Contact a good attorney for 25.00 per month.
Pre paid legal offers several services including consultation, advice, contract review, wills, letters/phone calls on your behalf etc. for an unbelievable 12-25.00 per month (depending on your state) I have had them for years and would not be without this service! You can call them everyday with a different matter if you need to. They will take your membership number and have an attorney who specializes in that area call you back. A fantastic service to have.....You can reach them at 1800-654-7757
100.00 per day and good exercise...
Ladies please remember that you can always get money if you use your creativity! Here is a quick way for the broke sista to make a few bucks to feed the kiddies (perfectly legal) Go to Walmart or any store of that type, and buy all their red and white, plastic, open /closed signs (that you can afford) go back to town and start walking. Go from store to store and offer to sell the signs for twice what you paid. Most stores have old, dingy signs and will happily buy a new one that they don't have to go out and purchase. Double your money and if you need to, do it again. I know it does not sound like fun. It may be too hot or too cold (all the more reason the signs will sell) But we do what we must. You all know this.....
2000 per month in college food...
If you live near a college or can get to one, you have no excuse to ever be broke! College kids will ALWAYS find money for food. They are some of the most ingenious little devils when it comes to getting their snacks that you have ever seen. To take advantage of their greed, simply go to a popular lunch place and order all the sandwiches, snacks and soda you can afford. Box it neatly and go onto the dorm. Call out Snacks! and watch the kids run! Take notes of what sells the fastest and reinvest your profits. (at least the first time) Many people cannot get to the lunch places be it from lack of transportation or too much studying. They know that they will have to pay more for the stuff than if they went and got it themselves and most will be happy to do just that. If you want to be sure of selling out, buy right before closing when they cannot go get anything for the night, and watch everything sell in minutes! I have seen people put themselves through college using this technique! Unless your personality totally, totally sucks, this will work for anyone!
live in a Mansion free of charge-and make 50K per year!
Yes this does work, I have a cousin who does this, and always lives in a spectacular home, and makes 120.000 per year and up! It works like this. Go get a real estate license in your state. It will be about 2 weeks if you take the classes daily. Or you can arrange to take them in the evening. (This will take longer but it might fit your schedule better. Once you have taken the state exam and gotten your license, look for very nice houses and mansions for sale. Contact the owners and tell them that you will not only sell their property, but you will live there all year and make sure it is taken care of! Many, many rich people fly all around the world all year long, and worry constantly about their beautiful houses being left empty. You would be shocked at how many people will take you up on this offer, especially because you are a licensed agent and this lends alot of credibility to everything you say. You simply live in the property and show it to prospective clients. You arrange for the closing to take place when the year is up. The best part is that at only 3% commission on a 2 million dollar home or 2, (1) million dollar homes is 60.000! This is a little known wealth tip that 99% of agents don't even know about! Most of them scrounge around trying to sell 100.000 houses and keep a roof over their family's head. They are walking past gold mines everyday, once again because they don't see what they can't see! Now you can see how you can live absolutely free in million dollar homes and get paid for it!!!
You can always email me for help or advice at: asktaylor1991@yahoo.com (my readers only please)
posted by Taylor-Sara @ 9:01 PM
68 Comments
68 Comments:
Tameka does have a point. Had it been a non-black woman, they wouldn't rip her apart on her looks. I mean you have chicks like Jennifer Aniston tagged some of the hottest people on the planet, when I don't see any amount of "Hotness" in her. Same with Sara Jessica Parker of Sex and the City. They're average looking at best.
Tameka may not be the prettiest woman in the world but she's far from ugly, and as I ALWAYYYYS state, Usher isn't super hot in the look department either, if anything Tameka is the prettiest half of the couple. But society STILL defines women more by looks and men more by money. As a result, women get treated more harshly by both genders when it comes to looks just like men get judged more horribly by both genders when they're broke, it's called double standards.
Add the fact that BW are considered less-than by society so most integrate that and are not aware of it. Like women integrate that they're the "weaker" gender, and black people integrate that theyre "inferior/less moral/less smart etc". Any group that integrates anything negative about themselves will be their own worst enemy.
I also find it funny that ppl bring up the fact that she has kids, so it's ok for a man who's had kids from a previous marriage to start a new relationship but women can't?
Patti Labelle said in Essence on an Usher & Tameka interview that Tameka is a taboo, she's dark, older, with kids, and in spite of all those things that society labels as negative for women, she could get the hottest rnb singer in the world, but she's the sweetest taboo to Usher and that's all that matters. I totally co-sign Patti.
girl, you wrapped that one up! I totally agree. And where is she ugly at, I just don't see it. I think she's nice looking.....I'm still wondering, why all the hate?
Sara! totally love the new tips and esp. the desperate ones! You don't know how badly I needed them. We're on the verge of losing everything. I'm going to try some of the thngs you recommend. the tips are amazing! Thank you so much!
His wife is lovely. God bless them. We need a lot of prayers in BC, I really don't understand this self hate, I really thought we have gone pass that!
Sara...love it...I think a lot of time BW on those type of sites merely parrot what the proprogand machine tells us...This should NOT be our own personal truth...You can tell a lot of them have been brainwashed..
Oh wow. You know, Sara...this doesn't surprise me. If frustrates the hell out of me because so many are like these pathetic women. I detest women like this and they are no sistas of mine. Poorly educated, bad grammar, jealous and likely part of the dreaded 70%.
I've never seen a group of women who hate themselves more than black women. Black women display their self hatred in a myriad of ways such as becoming babymamas and not demanding more from a mate, hating and tearing down black women who achieve/succeed-through education, businesses or marriage, tearing down the looks of another black woman who has what they want, standing by an entire race of men because of skin color and loyalty but getting crapped on in the process, etc. Black women are the most "fearful" people ever. I wish I could blame the media, blame black men, blame our home lives but, I cannot. There's no excuse for it anymore. I compare todays black women to my idols: Harriet Tubman, Dr. Mae Jemison, Dr. Betty Shabazz, Mary McLoed Bethune,and Fannie Lou Hamer to name a few and guess what? We are sorely lacking-(understatement). These women (exception being Dr. Jemison)grew up in a time when we were told consistently that we were less than nothing, yet they achieved new heights. I am forever indebted to those women. Today is a different day and we are so pathetic. The most pathetic race I've ever seen. We have none of the spirit of those pioneers (and don't get me started on black "men"). Black women will probably never get their "mess" together and for that reason, we are destined to be alone and bitter.
I stopped reading after 4 comments. The viciousness was too much for me. Anonymity really brings out the worst in people.
When they announced she was pregnant and they were marrying there should have shouts of joy amongst black folk that this man is responsible and committed to his woman and making her life and her children lives better. People were also making ugly comments about Michelle Obama as if this accomplished woman did not deserve to be at Barack’s side.
“We have seen the enemy and it is us”.
SaraT..you had me rofl @ Chin Lii..I bet she is a friend of LuChen..a frequent character in my "stuff." (Anyway..I truly have nothing against my Asian sisters..we can learn a lot from them actually)
There is nothing wrong with Tameka..she looks beautiful on her wedding day..and happy. I agree with whomever said that she is better looking than Usher..she is..and CW said people were just parroting...this is so true...unfortunately, a constant barrage like this has to cause some damage in the marriage...and truth be told, she may not be the ideal bride a mother would choose...but it is who HE chose, and that choice must be respected...(a mother probably does not dream that her boy will marry a woman (much???) older and with 3 children previously (or whatever the figures are)..this is true..and we can be honest about that..but neither does it mean that she is not entitled to find love(Tameka)
People constantly think they have the right to make choices for others..this is essentially what a blog like this is about..telling the world we make our OWN choices..and just because someone else does not think you belong with a particular person does not make it so.
I suspect some of the people who make the negative comments are operating from a place of REALLY low self worth. They truly do not in their hearts feel like they are worthy, and when they see someone who looks like them (a bit) they project that low self esteem they feel onto the person..and it becomes "how dare she think she is worthy of Usher's love?" What they are really saying is that THEY THEMSELVES are not worthy of any love that is not a dbr/poor type of love..so they think Tameka should accept that lot for her life too..Why should she be different?
It is a vicious circle...us here are not in that circle, (for the most part) and are able to be happy for a woman who has found happiness. Isn't that what all humans desire? When we are happy for her, it creates a path for us to find happiness too.
The best thing for them to do is just continue living their lives well, beautifully and productively. That is the best revenge.
I wish them well.
"Sara...love it...I think a lot of time BW on those type of sites merely parrot what the proprogand machine tells us...This should NOT be our own personal truth...You can tell a lot of them have been brainwashed.."
__________________________________
CW,
I visit alot of the other bw blog sites too. The self-hatred and negativity that is spewed on those sites regarding bw by bw,just makes the blood run cold in my veins. I do understand that you should be honest and it is your own blog but if those are your own personal issues that you have. They shouldn't be project onto all of us because everyone has their views and realities.
God forbid, you should say anything positive...especially about yourself. Watch out.
It is alot of negativity with very little room for anything positive or uplifting. I just hope that one day we stop buying into the BS and start learning to accept ourselves as black women.
I always like to say that, life is too LONG for us to carry around all that baggage.
Peace
Everyone back up right now and read the post of THATBLACKCHICK....
excellent post..only thing I would add is that people can and do change..and if we can reach even one person..it is worth it..sometimes bw are not even aware of what they are doing until they see it in front of their face..so I am going to look at it from a point of hope, not despair..but I am really feeling you on the other stuff chica....
I say bravo to Usher for standing by his wife. I do not know Tameka; therefore, I cannot judge her. I read a few articles supposely in Tameka's own words and she seems to be an intelligient woman and NOT A HOOCHIE type of female.
Tameka may be more mature age wise but, she is not ugly.
We all would be ugly if people we did not know called us such nasty names.
thatblackchick...With all do respect you NEGATE ALL OF TODAYS' HOUSEWIVES, UNIVERSITY AND COLLEGE EDUCATED, WIDOWED, SINGLE WOMEN who work diligently day in and day out trying to make a difference in this world.
As my Uncle once told me, "We simply do not love each other."
I believe we can at least show more concern for each other and the world in general.
After all life is not all about us.
Usher showed that his love for Tameka was unconditional...we all should have such a man in our corner. BTW, to any men out there who thinks they can man up like Usher my number is (504) 866-lol.
Ann F.
Hi Sara, wanted to tell you I followed the advice about starting the menu biz a few weeks ago, and guess what? I already have 2 RESTAURANTS!! Thank you so much, It went just like you said it would I made appointments and went and landed clients. You were right even about getting 85% of appointments! I'm so excited, I'm meeting wealthy white business owners and making money already. I just don't know how to thank you,most talk a good game about being interested in BW, but You are truly an angel, who puts her money where her mouth is. Thanks for the personal help and everything... Could not have done it without you -God bless.... Cinn
This is the reason black socialite blog turned off her comments sections and also Evia too. The responses were very ugly from BW against other BW. Especially if you have a man. We can be so jealous of each other. We need to be more positive.
"What they are really saying is that THEY THEMSELVES are not worthy of any love that is not a dbr/poor type of love..so they think Tameka should accept that lot for her life too..Why should she be different?"
Also I think they're saying "How dare you do what I wish I could!" Women like Tameka remove their ability to blame society and everyone else- how dare she!
Cinn, Sara sure is. I am gaining alot more confidence simply reading what Sara and the other ladies have written.
Liz...I hear you and I understand. We seem to be paddeling the same tye of boat. (Thanks Katrinia.) However, I believe we are going to figure out a way to overcome this minor delay in the road of life.
Good Luck.
Ann F.
these women are straight up haters. i had women like that try and go after me even when i had no man. every time im looking good there's always one woman lookin at me like im crazy for lookin hella good in a walmart sayin under her breath "she think she cute" pardon my language but yes b***h i am! other wise i'd be lookin a hot mess and you would still be talking.
besides im taking katt williams advice "if you got 12 haters get 12more by the end of the summer" lol.
Tameka has nothing to worryin about cuz every night usher is sleepin in HER bed and making love to HER and has a child with HER and most important is MARRIED to HER.
When Demi and her 12 kids hooked up with barely legal Ashton, the bc (mainly bw cause we all know most bm were probably wishing it was them lol) had nothing to say. As a matter of fact society as a whole congratulated them both *smh*
___________________________________
"What they are really saying is that THEY THEMSELVES are not worthy of any love that is not a dbr/poor type of love..so they think Tameka should accept that lot for her life too..Why should she be different?"
Also I think they're saying "How dare you do what I wish I could!" Women like Tameka remove their ability to blame society and everyone else- how dare she!
EXACTLY!
I don't think Black Women are worse haters than non-black women, there's no need to put people in a box, like white people don't diss Britney or Christina or the PCD on a day to day basis. Even when they are at their best, they are hated on. Just visit white blogs from time to time..........People just hate on celebs for the sake of it. All races of women have insecurities, period, all genders have insecurities too at the end of the day........... The same way broke/bitchy rappers will hate on successful ones openly, well broke chicks will hate on successful ones. It's that simple : most human beings are haters. Again, don't make it a race thing, a gender thing, or a combination of both.
"Why do BW seem to hate her soooo much? What did she do that is so wrong?"
What she did was live her life and be happy - she was smart enough to recognize a good man - say yes to what she wanted and no to what did not work for her and her circumstance in life and accept the blessings and joy that that can bring. The BW who hate her - hate themselves and their circumstances. They see her happiness as a reminder of what they do not have, what they feel they are not and makes them think there is less good to go around now that she has some of life's blessings. Truth is though if you are open to them - blessings will come because there are plenty of blessings around. If you are not open to them - even if they come and sometimes they do - you won't see them or appreciate them. She did what they were not able to do which is be happy with herself and create a happy situation for herself and her children. She is just one more reminder to those who are not willing to do what it takes to be happy, who are still drinking the Kool Aid and getting no where of what they lack.
Evia made a point - that is really true - if you want to have a happy life and thrive - it takes work and the williningness to fight for it. Not to be a warrior and angry - but determined and resolute to weed negativity out of your life in all it's forms at all costs. Stop being "nice" to those that would use abuse and mistreat and use your energy on yourself. Women who have as described in all these blogs a "lightness and ease about them" are sweet and nice and caring and not strident and angry because they are willing, ready and able to defend with all of their being that which matters most to them. A person can only be "nice" if they are willing to resist that which would steal their joy! Simply refuse to accept anything less than that which works for you@ and walk away from anyone, or anything that does not work to that end. This woman and many like her did that.
In short the haters are saying she's no better than I am so why does she have this good life and I don't, it's not fair, it's not right etc. what has she got that I do not have and begin to tear her down. The haters say - she's not better than me and tear her down in order to make themselves feel better - because they are not doing better for themselves, they are serving the needs and dreams of others and lack the courage, grit and determination she showed.
Doing what she did was/is not easy. Being happy and fulfilled is not easy and it does not just happen. It takes work and sometimes that work is hard, lonely and hurts - sometimes getting to happy hurts. They fail to realize it is not about what she did - so much as it is about what she did not do - namely let the negative naysayers limit her dreams for herself. Her victory over a tough situation - says there are no excuses for taking no for an answer.
V/r
Clarice
excellent clarice as usual....That's a lesson we should all adhere to.
Cinn, thanks hon but you are doing the work, not me. but thank you. Rarely do people let me know how they are doing after personal coaching....
Okay, so suppose we tried really, really, really hard to use twisted imaginations and decided that Tameka is "ugly" (however do we define that), so what????
I think another thing to note here is the rampant superficiality amongst these malicious bw. It may be true that most bw age well, but we'll all age, and we won't look the same as when we were 20 forever. Isn't that why we are supposed to marry someone with insides/personality/a mind that we respect? Does it not occur to these bw that Usher may have married her for what's inside her head? What, (let's once again use our imaginations and pretend that these commentators are beautiful) they lack?
I may be young and inexperienced, but I don't think getting a goodman who will treat you right and respect you is about looks; I think its about your personality, self-respect and they way you carry yourself. Could be my naivete. If so, let me remain naive.
You indeed may be young bnep, but you have the wisdom of the aged. Keep using that good mind of yours so that people will never even bother trying to get you to 'drink the kool aide'
Yep Bneptune,
You're not naive, you're using common sense. The funny thing is, half of these people hating on her probably don't look better.
Another problem is, the public is NEVER satisfied with celebs choices. If a male celeb dates a model type woman, he's using her as a trophy but if he doesn't (like Usher) he can do better. If his woman is richer (like Nick Cannon) he has to be a gigolo or he's a loser, but if he's richer than his woman then the woman must be a golddigger. If a female celeb dates a broke dude, she can do better, but if her man's rich (like multi-millionaire Beyonce) then she has to be a golddigger. And if she dates a not-so-hot dude (again like Beyonce) then she gotta do better.
Damned if you damned if you don't. Haters must be bored.
I do not think all of those Essence commenters were bw...bw are not the only ones reading those magazines.
a.f.
Simply put, haters will hate. Thas their job so why are you complainin'?
I got my 10 haters before the summertime, so I';m working on getting me at least 10 more before the end of the year.
As far as Tameka goes, there is so much wrong with people who are hating her. I think Tameka is kind of beautiful and she looks happy, and there is the rub. A Brown as heck BW has the unmitigated gall to not only be beautiful, but she's happy, in love AND got a young man to marry her in spite of the fact that she's been married before and got kids?!?!
WTH!!! She's trash!!! *insert eyeroll and snort*
People have entirely too much time on their hands nowadays. I really hate to see how vicious we can be as BW when we see somebody doing well and liing their life.
I guess Shug Avery was right: people can't stand to see somebody be too proud or too free. :(
Claric, preach girl preach! You are telling as my grandma use to say the 100% true. This bw have been taught to play by societies rules. The some how believe they happiness is based upon what someone else's criteria of what type of woman deserves to be happy.
A lot of black women had it in their heads Usher was going to marry the typical twenty-something, size two, light or damn near white girl. Sad, but true, this type of woman is easy for them to take, because in their minds they never had a chance with him anyway. But to see Tameka makes this say, 'damn' I really messed my life up. The same with Michelle Obama. It's hard to see your own excuses for not living well crumble into your face. They have made all the excuse in the world while they are living mediocre lives, ie, I'm too thick, too dark, too many kids, too many bad relationship.
Once again, bravo Clarice
"Simply put, haters will hate. Thas their job so why are you complainin'?
I got my 10 haters before the summertime, so I';m working on getting me at least 10 more before the end of the year."
OKAYYY!!!!
Wasn't going to comment because this is a woman's jelousy thing because I doubt many men would find her ugly . I've read those comments on that site that refered to her as Mankeeka . To me Usher is a sex symbol icon to many females across the globe and these chicks are just expressing their jealousy that an average single mom got him ,I've heard bw critize Denzel's wife Pauletta and Obama's wife Michelle, saying stuff like I look better than that b**ch ,but the thing is in the eyes of their husbands these women are godesses,the bible have never been truer than the scripture, Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I see the same as Usher's eyes a attractive woman with a great body ,do these chicks want ww to have all the rich bm? To answer your question ,yes I do think we are our worse enemies at times as a whole and bw vs bw -bm vs bm
Bougie
When I read that quote by her, I hollered, "Amen!" cause its so true. Chili had a kid and nobody talked about her bad because of it. But, she also had "good hair" (ugh), a skinny frame, and more European features. Perhaps *gasp* Usher likes how she looks and *gasp again* he loves WHO SHE IS! I guess that's just crazy, huh?
BBW: I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who quotes Kat Williams.
Some of these haters need to buy a decent personality, as only the most shallow of men will marry a woman based on her looks alone.
And Tameka is not an ugly woman; she may be somewhat "masculine" in appearance, but there are loads of models and actresses who have masculine features (large, jutting chins, huge beak-like noses, square jaws, heavy browridges, etc) who are considered quite attractive (Eva Mendes, Gisele Bundchen, Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie just to name a few). And although I'm sure Usher considers Tameka to be beautiful, I doubt it is her looks alone that keeps him with her.
we loathe most in others what we most loathe in ourselves. i do think PART of the criticism is due to usher alienating some fans. it's easier to hate her than to hold him accountable for threatening to sue the manager of a fan site for saying some mean things about his then-fiancee. you know what? people say mean things about women they're jealous of all the time. heck, i do it when absurdly attractive men are involved.
while tameka doesn't appear to have the best attitude from some pictures of him with fans, she doesn't deserve the attack on her looks. while she does come off as ugly on the inside at times, the blame for alienating fans in various ways lies with usher. i'm quite sure that justin timberlake fan sites talked trash about cameron diaz and are now talking trash about jessica biel (his fans say she's a man because of her athletic build... which is absurd because her body is so on point but anyway...).
oh, and i think he fired his mom and people blame her for that.
On a side note: Everyone please go to amazon and support CW. She wrote a book called Black Women Deserve Better. Well on the amazon review section theres this paticular blogger who wrote this nasty negative review of the book. This particular blogger is a black woman who hates IR blogs and their messages of upliftment. Since she had too much time on her hands she decided to write a bad review. We need to counteract her review by posting positive ones. Please support CW at
http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A1E8KWVOG1PA9U/ref=cr_cm_rdp_pdp_see_all?ie=UTF8&sort%5Fby=MostRecentReview
About CW's negative review : With the internet anybody can pass for someone they're not. I wonder if this is really a BW...It could be a BM or a WW. Anything is possible. Thanks for the link!!
I think Usher and Tameka will make it. I hope they do because they deserve to despite what people think.
The sad thing is these comments about Tamekas look are coming from black women and guess what Tameka represents your average black women. The broad shoulders and some what of a masculine appearance. Black women are built this way and people can't accept that. I myself am pretty broad in shoulders and so is my mom and her mom etc. It is okay for a black man to look a certain way but then these same looks on a black women are unacceptable. There is nothing wrong with black womens appearance. Yes Usher picked a black woman and it is sad that black women can't be supportive. She has a man and they are apart of the 70 percent that will most likely remain.
@lola, its a black woman for sure, she has her own site which is how I know.
Great post Sara! Loving the wealth tips. I may do some beauty tips also.....hmmmm.
Anonymous said...
The sad thing is these comments about Tamekas look are coming from black women and guess what Tameka represents your average black women. The broad shoulders and some what of a masculine appearance. Black women are built this way and people can't accept that
................................
HUH????.....You may be built that way (or been told you are built that way, and it may or may not be true) But please do not paint US all with this "masculine tag"..I do not accept that AT ALL..I am a woman..a beautiful delicate flower...not broad back Betty..where on earth do you get the ideas that BW have a masculine appearance?..on the contrary, we are one of the only "womens" I see who STILL look like a woman even without the added accoutrements of hair...example..(just one) An African woman who has decided to keep her hair short is clearly still identifiable as a woman..and usually they are gorgeous..you can really see the face, the skin, the cheekbones..This shape you describe..I more associate with some of our caucasian sisters..a broad back and a flat arse...once again..please do not equate bw with a masculine appearance (and I am sorry if you feel you look this way..I bet you really don't)..it is simply not true for many of us...
"@lola, its a black woman for sure, she has her own site which is how I know."
oh ok then. :) One day she'll see the light, I hope!!
kay...thanx for the luv...people like that just want attention and will do anything to get it : )...women like sara are my strength anyway!
"HUH????.....You may be built that way (or been told you are built that way, and it may or may not be true) But please do not paint US all with this "masculine tag"..."
_____________________________
Delishmish,
I have never heard this bw are "masculine" in appearance nonsense, until I started reading some of these bw blogs. The self-hatred exhibited on some of them, sometimes overwhelms me.
I believe that bw are the sexist and most sensuous women on the planet (as one wm told me). I think we ARE the embodiment and the epitome of feminity and sexuality. I'm not just saying this because I am a bw myself but because it is true.
But, since we reside in a racist and white supremist society, we have been mindf**ked into believing otherwise, even when we can see this with our own eyes. We instead choose to adhere to their delusions of grandeur.
In my opinion, there is nothing feminine about; a flat arse, no curves and no t*ts (I hope this doesn't offend my modestly endowed sisters, I'm just trying to make a point here). I will never ever buy into the bulls**t and I really feel sorry that so many bw have.
Speaking of bw being their worst enemies read what Tyra said and the pictures of beautiful Dark bw with their black, latin, and white celebrity boyfriends and husbands here's the link to cut and paste .
http://sandrarose.com/2008/06/13/celebrities-and-the-sistas-who-love-them/#more-1440
bougie
HBC...
yes.. it is weird how some BW have really drank the "Cruel Aid"...All I know is what I see when I look in the mirror..a gorgeous, deserving woman..yes..that is what I BELIEVE to be true..this is why some people (while not the most stunning) are like magnets...it is what they BELIEVE about themselves..which is, that they have a place in the world..they have a right to exist and a right to a WONDERFUL life..
I like to test this theory all the time..and suprisingly, it works...Do you think a crackhead thinks in their heart that they deserve a good life..probably not..do you think a prostitute feels good and deserving..um, NO..do you think Donald Trump thinks he deserves the best, and is worthy?...Y E S...this is why he is sucessful..even when he has had spills..he believes he can steady himself again, and he does..It is not as easy to do as it sounds..but it is a simple concept, which once grasped can really change one's life..I am in the process right now..and sometimes I have to talk to myself.."Delish, you can do it"..I have a great support system, but WE have to be our own biggest cheerleader...YES WE CAN.
What she "did wrong" was not being beautiful and not being famous. They would've accepted a Tracy Edmonds or Chilli, but this girl looks like any average BW, or even less attractive, and that bothers them for some reason...
Great comments, ladies. I sat here until I read them all. YES WE CAN!
They would've accepted a Tracy Edmonds or Chilli, but this girl looks like any average BW, or even less attractive, and that bothers them for some reason...
Was waiting for the next topic but this comment was a WTF!! the average bw is attractive ,this whole case is envy .Bougie
I believe the oldest bones found were that of a black woman's. So, that must mean that we are the original woman. Therefore, all other women were made in our image.
HBC..I had to laugh at your comment..
the oldest bones found eh?
Well shoot, I hope you are not referring to Lucy (forever immortalized by the Beatles, as Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds..or more probably as some people think, a song about an LSD drug trip)...anyway..I have seen many renditions of Lucy..and she "weren't a beautiful um, "woman" ...period (although I am sure she was stunning in her time..Have you seen the Neanderthals?...lol..
you're gonna have to bring some other bones I'm afraid...
I agree with bougie 100% on that one. I see pretty black women everyday. I think we are quite gorgeous so I'm not sure what Anon meant by she looks like an average black girl. I think she is attractive, and so is the average black girl....
does have a point. Had it been a non-black woman, they wouldn't rip her apart on her looks. I mean you have chicks like Jennifer Aniston tagged some of the hottest people on the planet, when I don't see any amount of "Hotness" in her. Same with Sara Jessica Parker of Sex and the City. They're average looking at best.
---------------------------
Don't complain about people saying shit about bw, then turn round and do it to someone else 'cuz they're white. I find Jennifer Aniston attractive. Sarah Jessica Parker I do not, but it is no reason for me to start dissing her.
_______________________
And Tameka is not an ugly woman; she may be somewhat "masculine" in appearance, but there are loads of models and actresses who have masculine features (large, jutting chins, huge beak-like noses, square jaws, heavy browridges, etc) who are considered quite attractive (Eva Mendes, Gisele Bundchen, Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie just to name a few). And although I'm sure Usher considers Tameka to be beautiful, I doubt it is her looks alone that keeps him with her.
------------------------
I agree. All the women you listed have some masculine features (except Mendes imho), but they are still considered beautiful. Bundchen isn't really all that but she has a manlyish face, yet so many think she's hot. Aniston has a bit of a chin, and unless she adds some weight on her face, it overemphasizes her jaw line, yet so many still call her hot. Jolie has a manly jaw and large manly hands with terrible popping veins, yet so many still call her hot. I am able to see the beauty in all these women (okay maybe not so much with Gisele), but let it be a black woman, oh no! She'll get all sorts of hate.
_______________________
Anonymous said...
The sad thing is these comments about Tamekas look are coming from black women and guess what Tameka represents your average black women. The broad shoulders and some what of a masculine appearance. Black women are built this way and people can't accept that. I myself am pretty broad in shoulders and so is my mom and her mom etc. It is okay for a black man to look a certain way but then these same looks on a black women are unacceptable.
---------------------
I don't know where you got your info from honey, but black women sure as hell ain't masculine. If your mon and gran had broad shoulders, did it ever occur to you that it was from them you inherited it from, as opposed to it being some collective trait of bw. And as regards bm having it, um yes, it is different. If a bm has a masculine build, there is nothing wrong with it. If he has a feminine build, people will point it out. Stop generalising. I seriously doubt that you have very broad shoulders. Jessica simpson has broad shoulders, but it doesn't mean she looks masculine. Personally, I think you are not too happy with your appearance and you are underestimating your looks. But there's no need to put all bw in a box when most of us don't have broad shoulders. Any woman can have broad shoulders, it doesn't automatically make her masculine!
Once again, if you must curse to make you point, leave a letter or two from the middle, like this sh*t, we will all know what you mean. I do not want all the cursing on here. I think we are all smart enough to make our points without it... People who feel the need to ignore this request will find their post is not published. simple as that. -thank you
here's a music video from Christte Michelle called "Love is You" it's an interracial music video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZDd4LD3AM4
@jalilimaster,
i've seen a lot of your comments around and it is quite obvious that you are a jennifer aniston fan. you are always so quick to jump to her defense. you criticised someone for insinuating that she wasn't too attractive yet turnes around and began criticising gisele bundchens looks (who btw is more attractive than jen aniston). also see how easy it was for you to say disparaging things about jolie. isn't this just hypocrisy?
i love jennifer aniston but when it comes down to it i have to be truthful, she is nowhere near as stunning or beautiful as she is made out to be!
from FOXYCLEOPATRA
JaliliMaster
Don't complain about people saying shit about bw, then turn round and do it to someone else 'cuz they're white. I find Jennifer Aniston attractive. Sarah Jessica Parker I do not, but it is no reason for me to start dissing her.
>>>>> I was only denouncing a blatant DOUBLE STANDARD when it comes to black/non-black women, I wasn't dissing anyone. Jenifer Aniston and Sara J. P. are tagged sex symbols when they're nowhere near "HOT" and Tameka is considered ugly when she's no worse than those two. FYI I heart Jenifer Aniston and always have, but clearly she's no Jessica Alba.
Thanks FoxyCleopatra for seeing my point.
Anonymous said...
@jalilimaster,
i've seen a lot of your comments around and it is quite obvious that you are a jennifer aniston fan. you are always so quick to jump to her defense. you criticised someone for insinuating that she wasn't too attractive yet turnes around and began criticising gisele bundchens looks (who btw is more attractive than jen aniston). also see how easy it was for you to say disparaging things about jolie. isn't this just hypocrisy?
----------------------
my reply......
I made the following comments:
"Aniston has a bit of a chin, and unless she adds some weight on her face, it overemphasizes her jaw line, yet so many still call her hot. Jolie has a manly jaw and large manly hands with terrible popping veins, yet so many still call her hot."
In case you didn't notice, I pointed out masculine features in them BOTH, and said, to me, they were both still attractive. Funny, a few weeks ago, someone told me I was an aniston hater because I jokingly said she was desperate, now someone is saying I'm a fan. I can't win, can I? And I'm still trying to understand what angle you're coming from with the hypocrisy thing. It was in reference to the treatment of black women compared to that of ww. Both ANiston and Jolie are white!
So drop it.
_______________________
You said.....
"i love jennifer aniston but when it comes down to it i have to be truthful, she is nowhere near as stunning or beautiful as she is made out to be!"
from FOXYCLEOPATRA
----------------------------
My reply...........
In my eyes, she is attractive, but Jolie is more attractive to me, (JMHO, but beauty is in the eye....). Foxycleopatra, I don't know if you are a Jolie hater/lover, Aniston hater/lover, but please that is not what this discussion is about. I'm sure there are many sites(white) that would happily accomodate that, but try to keep your posts on point. And if my memory serves me well, didn't you(or someone with your username), tell me on another site that I was hating on Jolie? Of all the women mentioned, the only one I didn't 'diss' was Eva Mendes, as I don't see any real masculine features in her. Will you say I'm just saying that 'cuz I'm her fan as well?
_________________
Sara, sorry for the language(I assume you were talking to me when you posterd that thing).
Lol, I just found out who FoxyCleo is, in fact, I know her quite well. Turns out, she's my sister and has been dissing me on quite a few sites. Sis, I know it's your idea of a joke, but I'm not finding it that funny. Stop writing stuff you know isn't true or atleast be consistent when you go from site-to-site.
R***(I won't write your full name), your funny. I should have sussed with your username.
To lola, FoxyCleo was not seeing your point. She only disagreed with me 'cuz I'm her sister(actually, were twins) and she's trying to be funny. Last night, she told me to go online and check her reply to my post on Sara's blog. However Lola, I agree with you, J Aniston has soooo past her sex symbol days, but I guess some women(you all know which women I'm talking about), feel better seeing someone like that held up as some bonafide beauty(please, I'm not hating, just stating). However, this is news to me that SJP is a 'sex symbol'. Um, wasn't she voted the worlds 'unsexiest woman'? And the only people I've heard call Tameka ugly were black people, alot of them women, and the usual racists you come across on sites like PerezHilton and TMZ, which always finds a way to insult any black woman. And put them side by side, Tameka is prettier than Aniston(again, in my opinion), and SJP can't even compare!
And yes, she JA is no Jessica Alba, but really who is. Most of these white female celebs that are held up as paragons of beauty have become whack-looking. My top three are Zeta-Jones, Halle and Salma Hayek, and only one of them is even white! Many of them don't age well, that's why once they hit their mid-30's, things dry up, whereas for black actresses, their career usually starts in their late 20's early 30's(Kerry Washington, Naomi Harris, Halle Berry, Elise Neal etc). Even look at the highest paid actresses, the only one of real quality is Reese Witherspoon, yet perennial flop Kidman, and non-acting Kirsten Dunst still get high paychecks. SMH!
Foxycleopatra, I saw you on a different site saying some funny things (not in a good way) about some of jailmasters comments. You both should take your issues elsewhere and stop clogging up the comments section!
I think Tameka is attractive. there's nothing wrong with that girl.
These are the same people that idolize that skanky Kim Kardashian and wish they looked like her.
Look if y'all want to fight, take it elsewhere, this is not the blog for that! This blog is about bw empowerment, not bw b*tch session! Any more comments along these lines will be deleted immediately, and you will be asked to leave....
Sara, I think you can get it was a joke between us. No need to get all moody. In her defense, I doubt she meant it in a bad way, sheeesh!
Foxycleo, see what you've done?!
to sara,
i apologise if i caused any unnecessary clogging but i only see about 3 or 4 comments so i don't think i have.
@swiss,
counting from my above comment, this is the 2nd time i am ever posting on sara's blog and 3rd time on an interacial blog (the 1st was on cw's blog then the other 2 are these comments) s i don't know how you could have possibly seen a comment from me on another site directing a comment at jalilimaster. either that it is a big coincidence (i.e. someone else with the same username-which i seriously doubt) or someone here is telling fables!
anyway it was a joke so everyone pls lighten up.
btw sara, iiv been reading your blog 4 ages but have never commented and i just want to say i think u are fabulous.
p.s. where do u get all these tips and ideas from? you rock!.....ok now i'm just brown-nosing
Foxy, thanks a mil. and it's perfectly ok, the other party infomed me you guys were joking. I get the tips because I work with alot of sm. biz owners and I def. pick their brains so that I can inform my readers and help them get good businesses (if that's what they want-and many ppl do.) glad you like them. If you have an idea and need help getting it off the ground, write me and I'll see if I can help....
no wonder usher sang the song called my love, cos he knew that people wouldn't like her. leave them alone and let them be happy.
Jallilimaster, I do see Lola's point and I agree with Lola. I saw no "diss" of either Aniston or Parker in what Lola wrote. I saw her making the point that white women who are of average to just above average looks get called beautiful and hot, whereas black women of comparable looks get called ugly or average. Making a comparison to illustrate a point does not constitute a "diss".
Tameka reminds me of Janet Jackson in that wedding pic - and no-one would ever call Janet Jackson ugly or mannish!
Well Sandra77, I'm not even sure if she is the poster I was eplying to but if that is what she(or whoever the poster was) meant, then I agree with them completely. My point was just that if we are calling someone else ugly, we shouldn't then complain in the very same sentence about itbeing done to a black woman.
And Sara, FoxyCleopatra was just kissing ass!
Ladies, Lets move on, you all are getting stuck on one subject.
A. F.
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