How to handle racist Inlaws..... + wealth tips (scroll down )

Mweigna, and her husband and 3 daughters: at wedding and on vacation...

BELOW: are two separate accounts (one by a sister in law and one by a young bw married interracially) They are both dealing with familial animosity regarding Interracial Relationships....

I'm not racist but I hate seeing my brother with his black wife?? What's wrong with me?
I was even a bride's maid at the wedding! Now, it's like I HATE seeing them together ever since she got pregnant! When I see her big belly and I just cringe!!! I think she just wanted a BI-RACIAL baby from my very handsome brother! I really liked her at first but now I wish she would just go away even though I know it's not gonna happen! She is kinda stuck up too!!! I'm even starting to resent my brother....I hate feeling like this!! No one knows I feel like this!!! HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think the first lady had a different 'picture' of AAs. Seeing her new sister in law and getting to know her convinced her that this woman was not a shucking, (head bowed) 'good one'. WW often seem to feel that we should fit the stereotype that has been floating around in their minds, and when we don't -they are often very disapointed. I think she is going to have to come to terms with her own racism and reconcile the problem within herself. The sentence "she's kind of stuck up too" further reinforces my belief that the sister in law 'thought too much of herself ' in this woman's eyes. Having to confront her own feelings of superiority in the face of someone who refuses to acknowledge it (her superiority) has made her resentful and bewildered. She has internalized these feelings, but just like truth crushed to earth, they rose again, causing her to feel irritated, angry and confused. She will have to work through this on her own. It is doubtful that her brother will understand, and he may resent her resentment of his wife...... What do you think about this situation?

2nd story is an (email directly to me)

Hi Sara,

I read your blog all the time and really love it. I have a bit of a problem and I'm hoping you can give me some good advice. My husband and I met 10 yrs ago, in Florida. We hit it off immediately. We both like many of the same things. We were together for almost 3 yrs before we decided to get married. In all that time I had seen his family many times, and although they were a bit standoffish, I thought they were ok with me being black. Well, I was so wrong. After the wedding his mother grew increasingly cold and hostile to me. I complained to my husband, who thought I was overreacting. After a while, she refused to visit our home anymore. Now 7 yrs after we married we finally gave birth to beautiful twin baby girls. Now his mother wants to take a trip out to see us. I think she really wants to see the babies. I do not want her around my children. She is racist and cold. She told his sister, that she wished he had married a white girl. Well too bad -he didn't But my question is: should I allow her to come and should I be gracious or cold like she has been? Please let me know because the trip is coming up soon, and I'm wondering whether to put her in a hotel. -

Thanks Danielle

Danielle, I really think you should allow your mother in law to come. Babies have a way of changing even the hardest hearts and I think she is ready to make amends. If she is rude or cold, simply say to her:

"by the way mother _________ when is your flight out?" (while looking her directly in the eye) Women are very perceptive. Trust me she will pick up on your hidden meaning. This will alert her to either change the behavior or get herself back home. Also, let hubby know how irritated you are with her past behavior. Perhaps he can talk with her and get to the bottom of the problem. I'm going to let turn your question over to my readers now, and get their two cents worth. Stay turned for the answers -Sara

Below are wealth tips for the Entrepreneurs.......
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Negotiate to wealth

If you like to talk to people and do not mind haggling, perhaps a career as a purchase negotiator is just the ticket for you. In many European countries, they negotiate everything. In the US people seem to think it's weird to negotiate over big ticket items, but the fact of the matter is that Americans could save millions per year, with just a little negotiation. If you are good at negotiation or are willing to learn, you can definitely make several thousand dollars per month helping people save money. The business works like this:

1. You place a classified ad in the paper like this one;

Let me save you money on your next car, home, or large purchase. I am a professional negotiator and will bargain for you. No cost if I don't save you money call _______________________

2. Have your clients sign a simple agreement to pay you half of the amt. that you save them. Get a price he was expecting to pay, and go to work. Dress very professionally and carry a brief case. Speak with the owner (no salesmen) tell him that you are the customer's business manager and that you have to get rock bottom prices because he is quite frugal. Tell the owners that you can buy in volume if the price is low enough, (then use same company for future business) Take half of the savings as your fee. As you get better at this business you will make more and more money. Always keep a small log of your business contacts. Work consistently until you have to turn away business. The things you can use this business for include: cars, houses, lg. appliances, furniture etc. One of the best side effects are that you will become a master at what you do, and will meet some key business people in your town.....

Easy Temping to 7ooo.oo per month!

More and more companies are hiring temps instead of regular workers. The reasons are obvious, (they want to save on benefits, sick pay, liability insurance etc. One of the biggest inducements, is that personnel will already be background checked, finger printed, and somewhat trained in the field they are entering.

The temp benefits by being able to go to work immediately and not having to wait an exhausting amount of time to 'get the job'. A specialized agency will definitely make more money than non specific one. These are the types of occupations you can specialize in:

Accountants

bookkeepers

computer operators

data processing

day laborers

medical technicians

office/clerical work

secretarial

telemarketers

wait staff etc.

You can get a cheap office by making a deal with an owner of an office building to manage the building in exchange for one free office. All this entails is letting people know if space is available and taking messages for the owner. You can start this from your home if absolutely nec. however you will want to go elsewhere asap, as you will have strangers in your home-and this I never advise. place an ad for your workers and take a resume as well as an application on each.

Run a cheap background check, and if the company wants them finger printed, let them pay and have it taken care of. You should pay your staff approximately 65% of what the company pays you. So that if you have 20 workers making 1000.00 per month part time, you would receive approx. 350.00 per each part time. That's 7.000 per month for those of you who hate math. The most important part of this business is marketing. You can use word of mouth but it's the slowest form. If you want to build quickly, I would advise going to businesses and giving them your information and speaking with them about the type of help they need at that time. You can also join a temp trade association for tips, tricks and help at:

National Association of Temporary Services 119 S. St. Asaph street Alexandia Va 22314

RIDING TO SUCCESS

Here is an excellent biz for those of you who live in vacation type places or can get to one easily.

Many people love to ride mopeds for the fun and excitement but do not want to take on buying one because it is not a needed item. To start this business you simply lease a supply of mopeds at wholesale rates and rent them out by the hour or daily rates. Find a empty lot near a busy part of the city and arrange to lease it, or cross promote with a gas station to use part of their back lot in exchange for using their gas for all your 'bikes' You can use an old trailer or booth as your office. Put up a large clean attractive sign like this:

MOPED RENTALS HERE!

HOURLY, DAILY, WEEKLY!

Leave fliers or business cards in all the hotels, restaurants, and local stores (who will allow it) and make sure your partner gas station has fliers handy. You can also add a few dirt bikes to your inventory. My uncle ( a true entrepreneur) has a friend who does this in Florida. Tourists mob him on a daily basis. He started with 5 mopeds that he leased with his last. In just four months, he had grossed over 50.000.00 dollars! His business is called Ron's Rentals but you can use your name or any name that's catchy. Try to keep it professional like Miami Bike Rentals sounds more professional than Ken's Rentals. This is definitely a business that is in great demand, but you will have to be there or have someone trustworthy in order to make it work. This is not a stay at home biz. So make sure you like the outdoors and people -good luck and this agency can help with questions and further information:

American Rental Assoc., 1900 19 Street Moline IL 61265

Beauty tips for the ladies:

Eat Color for beautiful skin:

Always try to eat color' in other words foods that contain colors like fruit veggies, and raw fruit juices. There is just no substitute for good nutrition. Try to stay away from processed food and junk food. This all goes without saying but sometimes we need a little reminder.

Toners-good or bad

Many women think they must use a toner on their face. This is a big misconception. Toners are usually just water, color with hazel , or alcohol and not much else. Some women don't feel like their face is clean unless they use a toner, but a good cleanser will do a fine job. Yes a toner does make the pores look smaller. That's because it swells the tissue around the pore. Keep in mind that a good moisturizer will do this as well without the drying effect. If you have very oily skin and feel that you must use a toner, pick a non alcohol one and use it only 3x or less per week. A toner is one of the main culprits in skin looking over dried and too tight....use sparingly

Natural pore shrinker

after washing your face in the morning with cleanser and warm water, Take a handful of cold water and splash the face quickly. this will shock the pores into a fast shrink and definitely wake you up as well. You can also use refrigerated rose water, and dab in on with a cotton ball.